Chapter IIa: Absolute Disaster

It seems like weeks since Cass visited her quarters. Someone had brought her a fresh uniform when she was released from the hideous Tube of Confinement, and she'd gone directly back to duty from there.

She waves open the door, reading a data pad as she moves inside. She's speed-reading all the reports that have been submitted surrounding encounters with the pirates, hoping to glean additional insight into their motives. She's looking now at the security report on the attack on Marbo in the airlock. The officer watching over the surgery states that the parasite grabbed Marbo's arm - one of them - and spoke to him with some insistence. They apparently had a significant exchange before Marbo gave the order to blow the airlock. She's puzzled by it; she'd assumed that the alien attacked Marbo in order to make him its host. But it appears that it only tried to do that once they were both adrift in space and that was its only chance at survival.

Tossing the data pad onto a table, she bypasses looking in the small mirror on the wall and goes to take a quick shower. She forces herself to savor the sensation, because who knows when the next one will be? But she ends the shower much sooner than she'd like, dresses in a clean uniform, and walks back into the bedroom still drying her short hair with a towel. She runs a drying brush through it. She doesn't need the mirror for that - she does it by feel alone.

Sitting at her desk, she creates a new "letter" file and addresses it before starting the recording. "Hi, Dad. I know it's been a while since I wrote to you, but let's face it, you haven't written me either, so how do I even know whether you want to-- Computer, delete text."

She starts over. "Dad, some things have been happening lately that made me think about you and me. I know that you probably didn't enjoy us butting heads pretty much every minute of every day any more than I did - although honestly, it really did seem like you were enjoying it a lot of the time, especially when I-- Computer, delete text!"

She flings herself out of the chair, running a hand through her hair and pacing around the room. Finally, she stops and turns directly to the mirror and takes a good, long look at last. The grafts are certainly noticeable, but it's still recognizably her face. That knowledge grounds her, and she feels something in her unclench.

Back at the desk, she sits down again. "Hi, Dad. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. Something big is happening right now, but maybe when it's over, I could take some leave and come visit?"

Moira knocks on Cassano’s door, and waits for a response before speaking.

Commander. Ah, can ah talk to yeh? Are yeh all right?

Cass lets her in. "Sure. What's up?"

She shuffled her feet and speaks uneasily.

Commander, ah.......wanted ta apologize fer......ah mean, ah hope yeh know that.....what ah’m tryin ta say is.......

She takes a deep breath.

Tha most logical option is fer me ta stay here an’ man engineering. But every time ah’ve had ta make a snap decision, ah’ failed. But yeh’ll have tha best Bruce yeh’ve ever had, ah promise yeh that.

She knows she’s staring at Cassano’s graft scars. Those, Darcy, her robot trying to kill Marbo. Heck, if Zephyr and M1-K3 were on board, she probably would have found a way to mess them up, too. She did NOT grieve and scream well....

"Ah’m treatin’ folks ta a Synthehol tour of tha star systems, when this all blows over. Ah want yeh there. No. Ah need yeh there. If yeh would.

She smiles, though her worries are still there.

Cass isn't used to seeing Moira like this; it is - pardon the pun - a sobering experience. "I wouldn't miss it," Cass tells her, smiling. "And it's safe to say that we've all made bad decisions today like we were competing for a prize."

She asks Moira to sit down on the bed and brings the desk chair closer to sit opposite her. "I agree that staying here is the logical decision for you. But you should probably try again to patch things up with Darcy first, since she'll be in command here - but then you probably already plan to." Cass looks at Moira, trying to decide what else might causing her unease. "Is there something else you want to say? Or ask me? Because I honestly can't read you in this mode, and I'd really rather we didn't go into this mission with something important unsaid."

Ah mean, ah'm not very good at readin' myself like this. Ah was gonna go see Darcy. Actually, ask'er if she minded if ah stayed. Davis can handle it if he needs ta.

She shakes her head.

Lass, ah'm older than most of yeh. Well, in human years at least. Not sure how it works fer Marbo. But, ah haven't been ta earth in years. Ah never married. Never had kids. Barely knew anyone ah fancied in tha first place. Ah've got nobody unless.....ah count this crew. So, thank yeh fer trustin' me even when yeh didn't need ta. Ah'll keep yeh safe er die tryin', ah promise.

She shrugs.

Tha screamin' helped, but ah realized ah never said that.

Cass sits with that for a while before speaking again. "Moira, I think most of the problems we've had today have stemmed from making decisions out of emotion. I wanted to prove myself as a captain and blundered into a situation unprepared. I wanted to keep my senior officers' friendship instead of demanding their respect. Darcy wanted to prove I wasn't fit for command, you wanted to prevent her from making a command decision you didn't like... It goes on and on.

"The point is, if we'd all just focused on doing our duty, we might be in better shape right now." She puts a hand on Moira's wrist. "We need to use our feelings of friendship and commitment to each other as fuel for doing our duty instead of letting them drive our choices. So if you do your duty and keep the Potential safe, you will not have let me down, whatever else happens, okay? Just support Darcy the same as if she was me. The mission is to bring our missing people home, and keep the Potential safe. And if we do those two things, I will be satisfied."

As Cass makes her way to the transporter room to leave for the pirate ship, she remembers something she'd meant to do and hits her comm badge.

"Cassano to Lt. Phillips," she says, hailing the security officer manning the airlock during Marbo's attack. "Your report on the attack in the airlock states that the parasite was speaking to Dr. Zlam rather than attacking him straightaway. Were you able to hear what they were saying? I could ask the doctor, but I'd prefer not to make him relive the trauma if it's not necessary."

Cass thanks the lieutenant and disconnects, frowning as she continues walking. If the parasite was asking to speak to "Captain Tulak," she wonders why Marbo hadn't simply patched him through to her.

Sighing, she guesses she'll have to do it after all. "Cassano to Dr. Zlam. Marbo, I hate to make you go over this again, but in the airlock, when the parasite grabbed your arm, what was he saying to you before you gave the order to blow the airlock?"

Moira smiles and nods before leaving Cassano to her work. She heads to find Darcy, knowing she can't stall before she needs to take the Potential out of warp. Surprisingly, talking to Darcy concerns her less now that she's talked to Cass.She waits for permission to enter, then gives a small salute (she can't remember the last time she actually followed that part of protocol).

Lieutenant Commander Bruce reportin' fer duty. Ah'll be headin' down ta engineerin' ta make tha last adjustments on tha ship when we come outta warp. Not sure how well tha ploy'll stand up ta scanners, but we should look derelict with no harm ta tha system. Ah wanted ta check in an' make sure that was agreeable with yeh first, Lieutenant Commander Darcy.

Just glad yer patched up. And ah wanted ta offer ta leave mah comm open so yeh can keep tabs on mah end a' things. If yeh want. Ah can send datapad updates as well if yeh prefer.