SEND IN THE CLONES

I stare at the datapad and start explaining "Well, you know... it is a bit dirty here and ... mmm... I’m doing a routine hygiene inspection..."I point at my gas mask and the two struggling troubleshooters in the sludge. "Clean body equals clean mind! And in this case the aaaa... inspection, requires removal of certain equipment beforehand"

As Brett falls back down to the sludge and gets bitten by a creature, he starts cursing despite injuring his jaw. "Damn horrid mutants! Filthy freaking commies! Sick bastard traitors!" Brett eventually orientates himself and begin his climb once again despite the wretched thing still biting him.

"At last I'm out! Maybe we should see the Hygiene Officer about our mess before continuing..." Brett says to Cart while catching his breath and wiping the thick muck from his face.

"Thank you hygiene officer for your help with the rope! Please assist further with our cleanliness so that we can serve our mission better! Squeaky smooth! Cart called out to Will.

You guys see me by the door having some ... misunderstandings with the other troubleshooter ;)

He's not buying it.

I do appreciate your concern. But wouldn't you say that the general hygiene of the team would be a duty that falls under the job desctiption of the Hygiene officer? Perhaps your efforts would be better directed towards those two rather than "removing" my assigned equipment...

Obviously, I will have to report my loyalty evaluation to a commanding officer at debrief.


He puts the stylus into its holder and packs his datapad back up.

"Yes of course, they are next. I had to start with someone... and they were out of reach..." I quietly move away and join the others "Fear not loyal equipment guy Cart! Group clean up coming up!". As I do whatever hygiene officers do to that uncleanable sludge, using everything I can: CleanAllPoo, ScrupASlug, Fat&Blast, and whatever, I whisper to Brett, the recording officer "I think the loyalty officer over there is showing some signs of treason, refusing to join the group hygiene check up..."

"Cart-O-YRE-1, please place your items here and provide an update on the equipment equipment status", I ask as I start to apply some CleanAllPoo on the sponge and scrub the equipment guy's armor and clothes. After a first cleaning round, I apply some Fat & Blast spray and leave it to act on the tougher and greasier bits. "Scrub, scrub, scrub 🎶 clean, clean, clean 🎶 dissolve all the fat 🎶 and make it sparkle as a Friend Computer's chip🎶". As I grab the shampoo, I look for a source of clean water...

Thank you, friend Will! Once you have removed all the sludge from the sewer, I shall check my equipment myself as the Equipment Officer and maintain them in perfect working condition! Cart stood still to let Will wash and scrub the sludge off his body, keeping his items with him and in his backpack.

While Will attempts to clean Cart, Brett ponders over what Will said. "The Loyalty Officer showing treason... That's ironic. Then again, the others are still hiding back at the entrance... This does not sound good. Highly suspicious commie behaviour. What do you guys think we should do about them?"

Total transformation! I am already cleaner, thanks to the hardworking efforts of friend Will. Let us proceed on our mission! I shall record how the three of us soldier on, while the traitorous others refuse to join in. Cowardly Wyatt has escaped!"

With no clean water around, I curse the bloody communists for their traitorous uncleanliness and record the horrendous state that we, loyal citizens, have to withstand when we step out of the Friend computer protection into the realm of treason. Our bodies may be corrupted, but our minds are still sound! (except for the loyalty officer...). I repeat the process as well as I can with Brett items, out and checked (by the equipment guy), rub and spray and then nod to Cart "Indeed, we must find the source of that catchy... BUT treasonous song, I mean" *cough* *cough*.

Brett wipes his hands on the railing, leaving some filth still left. "Yes, but I would like to be the one to continue filming our noble and loyal mission, as I'm the designated Recording Officer. Thanks for keeping the multicorder safe! Other than that, onwards we go!" Brett says as he retrieves the multicorder from Cart.

"As your Equipment Officer, I declare this multicorder to be fully functioning! Cart gamely handed the multicorder back as he recorded the exchange. "Let us proceed across this walkway towards the direction of the music."

I quickly screen the area for traitorous bots, fangy mutants and catchy songs!

Cart looked for ways of moving the gate, if there were some kind of control, winch, lever, or if these bars were equally rusted to break through.