The Astonishing Alchemist - vol. 01

Oh, fine then.

Alicia, you have any ideas on how to foil a fingerprint scanner lock without, you know, the actual fingerprint?

The Alchemist grumbles petulantly to himself as he gives up on the shed for the time being. Ideally, he'll be able to find a fingerprint without, say, having to cut someone's hand off. Because ewwww. As he picks up on Rocky's comment, he plots a course over to the doghouse to take a closer look and heads in that direction on silent feet.

As quickly and unobtrusively as he can, he takes a look all the way around the doghouse, looking for mechanisms that might open the floor in whichever direction it's meant to work.

"Do you have any masking tape on you? In theory you could use that to lift a print off of a glass or any other solid non-porous object. Although that might give you a reverse print. So you might have to then transfer that print and flip it the correct direction. That doesn’t even begin to take into account that any decent reader is going to require electrical conductivity like an actual finger would have. So pressing a piece of tape with the correct pattern to the reader isn’t going to cut it alone." She goes on for quite a while before revealing that she got the idea from a novel and has no idea if the science behind it actually holds up. "You might be better off just knocking and pretending it is a shift change. In my experience these guard types are bored and easily fooled. And there will be no further discussion of when or why I have previously had to fool security guards."

Looking around the doghouse doesn’t turn up much. You are able to confirm Rocky’s suspicions. It definitely looks like the metal floor of the doghouse can either descend or slide back to reveal an opening. Unfortunately you are unable to find any levers of switches that could trigger it to open. You are about to give up on this venture when something finally catches your eye.

On top of the doghouse is a small steeple, like you might see in a church. It is rather out of place on this otherwise traditional doghouse. At the peak of the steeple is a weathervane. Instead of the traditional rooster, this weathervane features depictions of the sun and the moon with a dog sitting between them. It is rather odd to see a weathervane on top of a doghouse since it is no more than a few feet tall. Even more odd is that the weathervane appears to have notches at its base that lock it into place and render it utterly useless at telling the direction of the wind. If one wanted to, they could manually move the weathervane onto different notches. Currently it rests with the sun pointing to the south and the moon to the north.

Lang Thomason is many things -- absent-minded (sometimes), possessed of a dorky sense of humor (constantly), a baseball fan (obsessively), in need of a haircut (perpetually) -- but if he has one defining quality, it's the inability to pass up a puzzle. He rubs one black-gloved hand at his masked chain as he studies the weathervane, then looks up to see where the moon is currently positioned. Either there's a little too much cloud cover, the phase of the moon is wrong, or it simply hasn't risen yet, but he can't get a good read on it.

He'd ask Alicia, but if there's one other thing he is, it's competitive and stubborn. Okay, two other things.

Well, the sun's certainly in the west right now, so...

He reaches out and turns the vane so that the sun points to the west, then takes a couple quick steps back. You know, in case it blows up or engages some other diabolical booby trap.

About three seconds after dropping the weathervane into place you hear mechanical parts moving below the earth. It is quiet, but audible. You and Rocky take cover just in case one of the guards hears it but there is no sign that they do.

The doghouse lifts up like it is on a hinge until it has tipped a full 90 degrees with the entrance now facing the sky. Next, the metal floor retracts and an opening is revealed. Not knowing how long it will be an option, you rush forward and make your way down the metal spiral staircase.

‘Should I stay topside or follow, boss?’ There isn’t a lot of time to decide. You can already hear mechanical whirling indicating that the entryway is starting to close back up.

You reach the bottom of the steps a few seconds after responding to Rocky. You must be at least two stories below ground with no clear idea of how reopen the secret door from this side. The only way is forward. Unfortunately the way forward is blocked by a metal door without a door handle or any identifiable way of opening it.

That problem is quickly dealt with as there is a hiss of compressed air and the door slowly starts to swing open at the exact time that the metal floor slides closed up top. A voice from inside shouts in your direction, "I thought Folstad said not to use that entryway anymore. What’s the matter with you?"

The sight you see through the door isn’t quite what you were expecting. The poorly lit room appears to be a video game arcade. Dozens of arcade cabinets take up the floor space. Electronic music, beeps, and boops dominate the soundscape. The only person you can see is one of those guards who is currently trying to set the high score for a game called Polybius.

Come with me, quick! It's closing up!

Rocky leaps through the opening and nearly bowls Lang over, but all is forgiven quickly enough. As they continue down the spiral staircase, the Alchemist mouths a message to check if Alicia can still pick up on him below ground.

You still there? We're headed down through... I guess it's a secret entrance. It wasn't too much of a secret, really. Just turn the... you don't care. Never mind. Just checking the reception. Would we call it reception?

He keeps up that steady stream of words as he descends, just in case there's some sort of distance-below-ground effect to the technology. It's about this time, though, that they reach the bottom of the stairs and the door hisses open.

Be with you in a moment...

As soon as they can sneak through the door, the Alchemist and his canine companion slip through on silent feet to take up a hiding position.

You stay here. I might need a distraction.

He doesn't answer the voice, but instead relies on his silencing mutagen to move around and through the arcade cabinets to find a spot that at the very least he and Rocky can flank the speaker. For the briefest of moments, he's distracted by one of the games before he remembers what he's here to do. Ideally, he can find a position from which he can simply ambush and take them out as quietly as possible.

You hear a static filled unintelligible response from Alicia but it fades to pure static by the time you reach the bottom of the staircase. You and Rocky are on your own down here. Rocky nods his head at your instruction and stays by the door as you sneak into the arcade.

Between the mutagen and the sounds of a dozen arcade cabinets on demo mode, you have no trouble sneaking around unnoticed. The guard continues to speak as he plays the game. "How about you don’t rat on me for taking a little gaming break and I’ll stay quiet about you using the doggy door?"

You head down the back row of games to the edge of the room. There is an open doorway leading into the hallway. You can hear movement and feel heavy bass thumping. Ignoring that for now, you move up between two arcade cabinets. The guard is still distracted and you are silent enough that it would be quite easy to dart forward and take him down quietly.

The HUD on his game shows he is down to his last life. He’s moving the joystick and slamming buttons rapidly in a vain attempt to keep going. If you’re doing this, you need to do it now. This game won’t last much longer.

Distractions would only complicate things further, so the Alchemist grabs a heavy wrench from a toolbox open nearby. He quickly comes up behind the guard and whacks him over the head with it. As the guard slumps down in front of the cabinet, Lang nods in brief satisfaction. Flashing lights on the game get his attention, and he quickly tries to take over. No sense in that last life going to waste after all.

Jumping cold into the game at that late stage of the action goes about as well as expected, and he only lasts a few seconds before it's Game Over.

Ah well. Fun while it lasted? he says to Rocky. Can you sense anyone else nearby?

As he communicates with the dog, he moves to the doorway and takes a peek out into the hallway to gauge his surroundings.

Peeking out from the arcade reveals a hallway leading to several more open doorways. Most appear fairly dark, but one has flashing multicolor lights leaking out into the hallway.

‘I can sense several people and canines down here. Most are close by and clustered together. Several humans have heightened heart rates and smell of sweat. Seems like a mixture of fear and excitement. What is going on down here, boss?’

You reposition yourself so you can get a better look across the hall into one of the darkened rooms. It is hard to tell without better lighting but something is off about the walls. They don’t look like standard drywall like the walls found in the arcade. It looks more like plastic or glass. In the hallway directly outside the room are a series of coat hooks. Each one holds a small silk bag.

I have to think it's something related to this weirdo mind control device Folstad's been financing. I wonder if the arcade games are a possible delivery mechanism for whatever crazy thing he's got in mind for it. They're already pretty addictive, when you come right down to it.

He rubs at his chin thoughtfully, then reaches for another of the mutagens at his belt and drinks it down. At first, it doesn't seem like it has any effect, but then he reaches his hand out toward the coat hooks and his arm stretches forward like an elongating rubber band. He snatches one of the silk bags and withdraws his hand again.

Let's see what we have here, shall we?

The bag is fairly lightweight. You pull the drawstring and turn the bag upside down to empty the contents into your hand.

First up is what appears to be a ping pong ball. It has been cut in half and an elastic string has been strung through it. Based upon the spacing of the two halves of the ball and the length of the string, you assume this has been done so one could wear this like a mask. One half ping pong ball over each eye. Why someone would do that is a whole different question to ponder over.

Next is a pair of ear plugs. Just simple common ear plugs that might be used by construction workers or at a heavy metal concert.

Lastly, there is a collection of 25 small cards. Instead of the numbers and pictures on standard playing cards, these cards show one of five symbols. Circle, plus sign, three wavy lines, square, or star. There are raised dots that trace the outline of the shapes so you can ‘read’ them by running their hand over the card without actually having to look at it. In addition to the shapes printed on the cards, there is also variance in the number of corners. Each shape appears in the deck 5 times. Once with all four corners of the card intact, and four times with one corner cut off (once with the top left missing, once with the top right, etc). So all in all, five variations of card for each shape within the deck.

I can't help but think the ping-pong balls and the ear plugs are to protect a person from the effects of some sort of light and sound experiment, the Alchemist thinks at Rocky. Which I'm guessing is what's going on down the hall. Subliminal programming has been an area of research for decades. The cards... I've seen things like this in TV shows, used as tests for psychic abilities, which I guess fits with the whole mind control subliminal psychic mumbo-jumbo I was expecting here. Got any thoughts?

Having not been detected when he poked his hand out into the hall, he looks out the doorway and up and down the hall. Not seeing anyone right away, he takes a careful step to the other side of the hall and stands outside the darkened room. He stretches his hand forward to touch the unusual walls and try to get some sense of what they are. He's careful not to walk in just yet, considering that whatever's going on in the room -- he's expecting the walls to be TV screens of some sort or another -- might trigger based on his entrance. Just to be safe, he doesn't look into the room, only reaching in.

Rocky tippy taps up to you and looks over the objects from the bag. "You’re certainly right about the cards. They are called Zener cards; named after the psychologist that created them. We sure could have used a pair when we were trying to prove to Alicia about our telepathic connection... Wait a minute." Rocky paws your hand to lower the cards so he can get a better look.

"These are slightly different from the standard set described in your encyclopedia. Instead of the missing corners, a standard deck has each shape appear in five different colors. There also isn't normally raise printing over the shapes...

"Do you think they are trying to create what we have? A telepathic connection between man and animal? It is a common misconception that dogs cannot see color. I may have a limited spectrum of visual colors compared to you all mighty humans, but I can see a few colors, thank you very much."

Your assumption about the walls of the darkened room prove true on all counts. The walls are smooth glass and your arm inside the room does trigger some kind of motion detector. You hear televisions behind the glass click one one after another. You quickly withdraw your arm and the screens start to click off.

In the brief moment they were on, light leaked out onto the floor of the hallway. It was solid red. You also heard the sound of static. It was quiet, but rising in volume before the TVs shut off.

It sure looks that way from where I'm standing. If the cards are modified to make each one unique without colors, that sounds like a logical conclusion. Are these rooms meant to develop those connections somehow? If so, why the eye cover and earplugs? I think we're going to have to go down the hall and see what's going on. Quietly.

The Alchemist puts words to action and creeps down the hall, relying on his mutagen to continue keeping his movements quiet. He keeps the silk bag in one hand, the ping-pong balls and earplugs near at hand in case he needs them. Coming up beside the door with the flashing lights, he carefully takes a quick peek around the corner, ready to jerk his head back if (as he suspects) the lights have some effect on his cognitive processes.

The sight you see makes it a little hard to jerk your head back. There is nothing compelling you to look. You aren’t being mind controlled or anything. It is just... weird. But you should be used to that by now, right?

The walls of this room are just like the previous one. Glass covering countless television monitors. Unlike the uniform red projected in that room, this one is an epilepsy inducing rotation of every color imaginable. Each screen changes at intervals between 1 and 5 seconds. When you have dozens of screens doing that it means a constantly shifting array of colors all around the room. But that’s not the weird bit.

Five children from roughly ages 10-15 are floating about the room as if it is filled with water. Some hover in place while others absentmindedly do flips or ‘swim’ through the air. Each of them has a device around their head. It covers their eyes and ears and wraps around the back of their head. It looks to be solid plastic with no means of looking through it. As far as you can tell they are cut off from the sights and sounds of the world.

On the ground you see a dog for each child. They aren’t hovering but after a few seconds of watching it becomes clear that they are mimicking the emotions of specific children as if they are linked.

Rocky pulls up next to you and looks into the room. His head tilts to the side in confusion.

You hear footsteps at the end of the hall. Multiple heavy footsteps that can only belong to guards.

‘What do you want to do, boss?’

The Alchemist mouths a handful of curses that wouldn't be out of place in a PG movie.

I want to hide. Now's not the time to get in a fistfight with a bunch of Folstad's goons.

Unfortunately, the only room they can be sure to safely reach before the approaching guards is the one they're currently standing outside. The colors swirling around may not be controlling his mind, but they're not going to be at all pleasant and keeping his eyes closed isn't ideal.

He pops open the silk bag and takes out the ping-pong balls.

Come on. I've got an idea. Probably a terrible one. You're allowed to mock me, but do it later, okay?

Slipping inside the doorway to get out of sight, the Alchemist does two things: first, he takes another of his rapidly dwindling supply of mutagens to sharpen his hearing. The mutagen enhances his three-dimensional audial processing capabilities, allowing his brain to generate an image of his surroundings nearly as effectively as sight would. Second, he puts the ping-pong balls over his eyes, expecting that they're just a simple protective device against visual overstimulation. And then he waits, keeping tightly against the wall just inside the doorframe, listening for the guards and any conversation they might be having

"--visuals looked strong. Almost seamless. Probably won’t need to use the canines much longer," one of the guards says to another.

"Thank god. I am so sick of cleaning up dog crap."

"Haha. Don’t get ahead of yourself. The kids still like the dogs. We’ll probably keep them around just to keep them calm."

"I knew it was too good to be true."

Your mutagen gives allows you to keep tabs on them as they round the corner and start down the hallway. They slow up and stop right before reaching the doorway. One of the guards nods at one of the others. This individual steps forward so he is right in front of the doorway but does not walk through it. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a dog whistle.

The dogs (Rocky included) erupt into a chorus of barks when he blows it. One by one the children lower themselves out of the air and land upon two feet in the middle of the room. Each dog works their way to stand in front of their corresponding child. The light that leaks through the ping pong balls stops alternating and becomes a consistent whitish/yellow.

"I hope everyone enjoyed the game tonight," The guard asks as the kids start to take off their headgear. "Any questions or concerns?" A few kids are clearly turning to stare into the corner where you and Rocky are.

"Ummm," one child starts...

Can you get the dogs to calm those kids down so they don't give us away? Maybe tell them this is a new game that we're supposed to keep secret from the guards?

If it was possible to flatten yourself out, he'd be doing it ri... wait a minute. It is possible.

Relying on the stretchy mutagen, the Alchemist carefully flattens his body against the wall as slowly and carefully as possible.

To do list: make a better stretchy mutagen. This is remarkably uncomfortable. Feels like my thoughts are being squished...

"That’s a bold strategy, boss." Rocky’s eyes close and you are left wondering whether or not he is having any success. None of the other dogs in the room make any movement or sign that they are being communicated with.

Outside the room, one of the guards around the corner checks his watch and yawns. The one that addressed the children speaks up again. "If there are no questions then I thank you on behalf of Mr. Folstad and invite you to come back for the next session in two days." He motions for the kids to exit the room.

The children and the dogs all walk out of the room and follow the guard back through the arcade and out the doghouse entrance. The two guards around the corner fall in line and exit along with the rest of the group. Whatever Rocky did must have worked.

That’s when you feel all warmth drain from your body. You feel an intense pain like your entire body is being jolted with a million volts of electricity. When you open your eyes the world is tinted in blue. You are no longer flattened against the corner. You remain kneeling there as you did before taking the mutagen. You are not quite sure how you know it, but any presence of the silence mutagen is also gone.

Standing before you are the five children with beaming smiles on their faces. Like the room around them, you see them as if looking through a blue filter, but they appear brighter than their surroundings. It is almost as if they are emitting light themselves.

"Sorry about the transition. It can be a bit rough sometimes. So you are here to guide us through the next step?" one of the children asks. They all exchange excited glances with each other and then turn their focus back to you.

"BOSS! What happened? Where are you?" Rocky’s sounds as if he is 1000 miles away and underwater. You look around and there is no sign of him here with you.

I... don't know. Something happened in the room after the kids and dogs left. The kids are back and my mutagens are gone... more to come. I hope. See what you can learn, but be careful.

The Alchemist squints against the blue light. "Rough," he says, slowly coming to his feet. "That's a word for it."

He looks at each of the kids in turn, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I won't lie to you, because I hate it when people lie to me. I don't know what the next step is. Can you tell me what this... place, I guess? is? You called it a transition. What does that mean?"

The Alchemist does a quick inventory in his head about what mutagens he has left, in the event he needs them. Turns out it's really quick. There's only one. To do list: ...

I have no idea what to do about that. Fiddlesticks.

Rocky sounds worried. "Ok, boss. It's hard to hear you but I’ll keep looking around and stay out of sight. Let me know if anything changes on your end."

The kids laugh at your question. "This is the Cool Place!" One of them answers while spreading out their arms as if to show off how cool this place indeed is. "Or at least that is what we call it, cause it is kind of cold and blue, and just pretty cool in general. The guys in the suits called it the astral plane--"

"No, stupid! It's the ethereal plane!"

"Ugh, you guys never pay attention during the cutscenes. This is the Neptonian Sphere. Oh wait, it might have actually been Uranus."

All of the kids devolve into laughter.

"Whatever. It doesn’t matter."

"Yeah, who cares? It’s the Cool Place. We all agree on that, right?" Everyone stops bickering and concedes that they do agree on the informal nickname. "You’re not our new guide? Who are you then and how come you were able to communicate with our familiars? Only guides can do that." The kid puts their hands on their hips and gives you a duh-esque expression indicating that everyone should know that.