I cannot help crying, too. The release of all those concerns of the day pale to seeing my love truly open up and face her fears. "My turn? Oh love, you're the most important person in this world. I'm glad Eha didn't call you a goddess, didn't see Kiltzi in you. The humanity in you is what I love. It's the part that can cry for another and for yourself. The gods do not have that ability I fear."
I hold you close and rock back and forth, not really knowing if it is to comfort you and to reassure myself that we are closely bonded. a part of mind wanders, though. He doesn't know if he can face the door he feels he needs to open now.
"Kitsune, I ..." My resolve falters. Isn't this exactly what I had advised you against? This holding back of emotions serves nothing and undermines our relationship. "I haven't told you something," he manages to think to you but not say. He sits up gasping for air. It's a panic that he has run from for a very long time. Kit sees it in his manner instantly but does not know what it is. You sit up, and we grasp at each other's hands and lean into each other. The concern in your eyes drives me on to open that door.
"Kit, you remember me telling you about my first girlfriend, the acolyte of Kiltzi, after Uhti gave you her name? Well, she wasn't the painful memory in that story. I had a sister who was born before me, under the connection that high priests of the two temples have with Kiltzi and Qotal. My mother and father conceived her in a throw of passion inspired by the gods' actions, though they did not love each other. They did not even have the remotest relationship before father came from Ulatos to my mother in Ibn-Tulon. The gods named her Quezali. I only told you that I had an older sister. I didn't tell you who she was."
I sit looking into your face for comfort, trying to calm himself and take long breathes. This is a different kind of pain than what I experienced by spell. This is deep within me, and it aches to finally get out.
"Her childhood was marked by sorrow and pain. Servants and nursemaids would fall ill or die. When she began to talk, she would manipulate those around her at an early age and would rant on about otherworldly things that could not possibly be true. She told my parents that evil characters possessed her and attacked her and that supreme beings protected her and healed her the best they could. She was to erupt in this land as a savior to Maztica. Then one day when she was still little, she claimed to be another person, that the person called Quezali was asleep and would never awaken. My parents got no help from the temple, so they took my sister to the Keepers of the Conservatory in Far Payit, and committed her to their care. My parents grew close in this and choose to have me out of love. They told me this tale so I would understand that they loved her but needed to do what they did. Maybe I believed them, but I tried to go see her, but I was refused. I regretted my parent's decision. I questioned the right that Qotal and Kiltzi could do this to my parents and to Quezali and to all of Maztica. That is why I ran and became a pirate, why I could not complete my oath, and why only you could have saved me from hiding from myself."
Duke is in tears but is more concerned about how you are reacting to his shame. "Kit, my love, I should have told you about the insanity in my family. I hid it from you and maybe from myself. Oh love, can you still love me? I cannot bear to have you take on this burden too, but now that the door is opened to my grief, I cannot put it back in or bear it alone. Oh love! What kind of man am I to hide this and bear this shame on my family?"
