Back Story

You set me on fire. I shouldn’t be playing with so innocent a child. You are young and maybe never have kissed this passionately. I have seen enough of Kiltzi temple girls who get their first kiss and fall head first. I didn’t expect this response from you. Your kiss is amazing. Yes love. I want to see you tonight. Does this mean you are leaving me now? I am drunk on your touch. My heart might break in the spot if you take that touch away from me. When?" I see your eagerness and imagine your playfulness. My hands fall to your should blades and wrap you into another kiss before you can protest. Your frame is slight but your breasts are soft and full when I press against you shamelessly. If only I can show you how wonderful you are!

I lean into your kiss, craving your touch. I do pull away after a moment, saying, "I am leaving, see all those patrons? They need serving and I can't be missing for too much longer. Besides, you ordered and I would like to make sure you get your sustenance... errr, dinner please. But... do you have a room here? Of course not, you're of the courts... be here when the moon is at its highest, midnight, we'll leave from here." It takes everything in me, but I pull away completely and start to leave the corner we've been tucked away in. Before being in sight of the patrons, I stop and turn to you. "Make sure not to wear anything that... courtly. Wear something more common. And you might be drunk on that ale... pa makes it pretty strong." With a sarcastic smirk, I step away and resume my duties. Looking at you every chance I get with a smile until you leave.

"True enough. Indeed, I am hungry. But I miss you already!" As you step away from me, you echo, "I miss you already, too." and you head to the kitchen. I look after you and note your pleasant hourglass shape and teenaged, impossibly thin, waistline. I am still a teen myself, I tell myself, so I allow such thoughts to ride a wave of wanton lust.

But your words trouble me. My own insecurities creep in on my thoughts. I believed my words that I missed you already. I feel it in the way I smell the lily flower of your face as I cup it in my hands. I feel it in the leaning you do to kiss me back. I feel it in the the soft flesh my fingers touch and the slight hairs that I tickle as I move my fingers along your skin and the giggle and the smirk and everything about you. But the way you parroted my comment gives me pause. Did you mean it like I did? Or was it a trained reaction to keep me on the hook. Was it simply a need to please those around you, to not let them down? Was it some sort of training that made you a fem fatale. My thoughts swirl with the worst of thoughts. I even begin to wonder about the invitation and whether I am safe trusting you to come to you incognito in the middle of the night. Are you planning to rob me or shanghai me into a pirate's life. That would be awful! I had been warned about inns of seaport towns, and here I am falling for the honey trap. I bite hook, line and sinker. I even start doubting my most sincere insights into your character that you were even crying. I have seen thespians do far more dramatic scenes. I have even seen makeup to reproduce bruises.

Gods! Why am such a fool! And why cannot I just ONCE find a sincere girl with a wit and a laugh that can love me without using me or betraying me or simply going nuts? I will be 20 years old next Waning Heat, and I have yet to find a wife, or a girlfriend even. How silly am I that I am playing with my own heart and maybe even that of younger girl in such an Inn as this?

I look at my hands. They tremble. The hairs on the back of my hands stand up and goosebumps ride up my arms. My stomach flips over a hundred times to the fast beat of my heart. I know I will see you tonight anyway.

I finish my meal and say nothing more than a gentle thank you to my server. I brush the edge of my hand intentionally along yours as you serve me, smile, and see you blush.

Going back to the temple of Helm where I have been staying as an honored guest traveling from the Temple of brother Qotal, I bathe and change my clothes with those I borrow from my valet. I give my doubts no more quarter. I stride back to the Inn, but find the door closed. As Helm the Protector decrees, curfew is strict in this city, but I have diplomatic immunity in these matters. I do not knock for fear of seeing your parents. I wait in the light of an oil lantern in the empty street so you can find me easily enough. Whether your purposes are good or ill, I know you will seek me out.

After a moment of you standing there, a sudden flash of darkness comes around the corner and grabs your hand, pulling you into the alleyway. At first, you're guarded to protect yourself, but then you see my face in the dim lighting. I've changed tops to a black blouse as it's easier to stay concealed in the dark corners of the city wearing it. I smile widely at you, "I wasn't sure you'd actually show up! Come with me!" Without giving you a moment to respond, I pull you along the side streets of the city. It's obvious that I'm accustomed to traveling throughout it without being seen, especially by the guards.

I finally lead you to the final destination. At the edge of the seaport, there's a small area with a tree and a few flowers among a grassy patch all on its own surrounded by the wood of the docks. I let go of your hand as I sit down under the tree and pat the ground for you to join me. Dutifully, you do and for a moment, we sit in silence, looking out across the port and ocean. "I would love to see what there is outside of this port... this is where I come when I just want to pretend that's possible." By the gods, why do I keep saying things that I don't verbalize?! Why is he so special as to see my hidden hideout? I look at you with my heart beating rapidly, "For how many more moons are you here in Aum?"

I relax on the grass with you and settle up against the tree trunk, pulling you by the shoulders to lean against my chest with my arms around your waist. You place your hands on top of mine and we relax into each other, silently watching the ships in the harbor wearily pull and tug on their anchor chains, bound to their mooring. I try not to focus on your neck that sits directly in front of my lips and under my breath.

"You have never left Aum, Sune? There are wonders in this world for sure, but this is lovely city. I have seen very few ports with a more incredible view with a park and everything. I can see why you like it here." I smell your hair sweet in contrast to the salty smells of the sea. I try not to slip into your orbit, but you are hard to resist. You sound trapped and wanting of adventure and I have the means to give you those things. It would be so easy for me. But how could I ever offer that to you? You have a home and work and need to make your own way and will make your own decisions when you are ready. But maybe you would decide to come to Maztica and be my wife and have children with me even. The moments pass without you speaking another word.

When you express your desire to leave but say it is not possible, I fail to see your difficulty. "But Sune, I have traveled far and wide on both sides of the trackless crew. Leaving a place is as easy as giving yourself to a company going somewhere. The world is out there. It is easy to run away. What holds you here? The trick however is running to something. See that star just to right of ... in my land we call it the Quetzalcoatl, the big constellation shaped like this but the bright star on the lower left. Follow it and you would find my home in Payit. I'll be going back there in only a week's time. Have you ever thought of running to something? A particular far off land? a husband? a family?" Suddenly struck with how audacious my line of questioning is , I freeze. I just met this girl for the love of the gods. But she is so sweet and beautiful, my head spins. Though these questions are on the top of my mind, I cannot just blurt them out like this! I try to think of a way to backtrack my questions and not seem so obvious about my thoughts. I can't think of anything, so I sit still and tense. Your arms are laying on top of mine own which explode with goosebumps, your chest breathes in and out against mine so that I can count your breaths as mine grows short, feel your heartbeat against mine that races. Should you tense as well, I would instantly feel it, so I stop my mind. I force myself to be quiet for once.

I relax into your hold on me, as if we'd done this for years. You ask questions and I struggle to find words. "I don't have... I can't leave... I don't know what I would run to, nor can I run. I am bound to someone..." My voice wavers as I speak the last part. Part of me still thinks I'm in love with my Sir, but a lot of me knows that I'm nothing more than a usable body to him. I can pleasure him, I can gain marks for him, I can get intel he'd never be able to get thanks to the delicious gift of my body. I know that he could throw me away at any moment and I'd be all alone in the world. "Besides, a husband and family isn't in the tarot cards for me. I love 'love' and it's a fictional concept made up for little girls to dream about. No one could ever love me for who I am. I have a pretty face on the outside and a figure that makes me the center of attention, but I had to, still am learning to, be charismatic. I have many unattractive flaws that lie under the surface. Even Sir only puts up with them on a very good day. I'm not... wife material."

Your response sends me into a whole different direction than what I was expecting from a youngster such as yourself. I can imagine all kinds of slavery and torture, but not here in this ideal town, with such loving parents and community. I sit up and turn you around so that you sit facing me sitting akimbo and holding hands. I run my hands up and down your forearms, rocking my own body, as if I might wake you up from whatever nightmare you are having.

"Sune, dear dear Sune, what do mean you are not wife material but you are bound to someone? This cannot be. You are smart and pretty and young. Everything is laid out in front of you for your taking. You can do anything. There can never be anything about you that someone would not love you for who you really are." I know nothing of this girl, but you pour out your fears and anxiety so honestly that I cannot help myself but believe you are being forthright. I also know that you are expressing them to me, a total stranger. You want, ...no, need to have someone to hear them. "Tell me." I pull on your arms to touch my waist and give you a long kiss, lingering on your lips and touching noses and forehead. "Tell me what binds you in this anxiety and lies to you about what kind of ... material you are. You are the stuff of divinity. Tell me."

I chuckle as I say a line that you've heard from even the present form of myself, "I'm just a mere mortal." I take the initiative to kiss you this time, not wanting to pull away until I need to gasp for air. I stay attached to your forehead, not wanting to see the way you'd look at me as I tell you more than I should, as I give you power over me that a complete stranger should never have. "Well... it's hard to explain. When I met Farthus, he painted dreams of me being the one who changed his heart, warmed it from the chill it possessed. He said that he saw a future with me, a real one, the first one he said he'd ever had. But now... his heart is frozen over again, I'm a useful tool and I know it. That's all the men here want, my physical form. They see the real me and then I'm... well, it's not nice. But... the point being if I can do something that makes a man's heart go from being warm to cold, then there's obviously something wrong with me."

I pull my head back and look at you. I can't tell if you're pitying me or struggling to understand my common. I know I'm saying too much, revealing things that I shouldn't. Why do I feel that I can trust you? No! We mustn't listen to that voice! Last time it spoke, we trusted Farthus completely... that was a mistake. This beautiful man would be a mistake too undoubtedly. I look away, falling further into my thoughts of wondering what it is about you that makes me want to bear my soul.

I am dumbstruck. You snap me out of my daydreams and shine a cold light on yourself. I can’t believe you would so believe the utter fallacy of your own argument. Going up on my knees and leaning over to you, I gently bring your cheek back so you are looking at me again. "Look into my eyes. See the reflection of yourself there, as beautiful and wonderful as I see you. Believe me when I tell you the truth."

Still holding your hands, I pull them both into my open tunic and against my rapidly beating heart. "Feel my warmth. If a man’s heart is cold, then there is no fuel inside it to burn within. He has wasted it away with evil deeds or thoughts or worst, forgotten true love. There is nothing you can do to a man’s heart to make it cold. Should you break it, it burns with more fire and pain. If you fan it with your love, it burns brighter still. If try to quench his heart, it will burn all things that touch it to shine again. But that fire cannot be cold. It cannot freeze. It can only love and be passionate. It is a man’s heart. He can keep it hidden and protect it if he has to, but if you get a chance to touch that man’s heart, then you can feel it’s fire and heat and Look around you. Every good heart around you is filled with love. I tell you that you should believe a writer of these fairy tales, who exposes his heart, for he exposes himself to ridicule and disbelief by all those who might try to break it. On the other hand, if you find a cold heart, throw it away for it is empty.

I show you mine and it burns brightly for you. I see your heart burn because, you show remorse for the lack of love in your life. Take that cold heart of your Sir and throw it far away from you. He hurts you. That is not love. He is cold and evil. His heart is empty. Yours is filled with love and empathy."

I want to say more. I want your hand to sink deep into my heart, but in your darkness I still fear you might rip it out. This is enough for now. I pull you up into an embrace so that our hearts touch, that our mouths may close in a kiss.

I kiss you back in your embrace. My body just reacts to you, apparently my mind does too. But with all of the people who have just wanted me for my body purely, I feel that your words aren’t true. I love every word of it but there’s just simply no way that it’s fact. After a long kiss, you sit back against the tree again. I, not wanting to hurt your feelings with my perspective on your statement, decide to change the topic, but your words never leave my mind. "So... surely with such an open hearted concept, you must have a girlfriend in Maztica."

I chuckle light heartedly at the question. It seems I got overly serious and you wanted to just have a conversation, but probing for my romantic involvements isn't the most innocent of topics. I smile at you. I cannot figure you out, but I can't stop looking at you either.

"Oh yes, tons of girlfriends. Every girl in Maztica loves me." Grinning ear to ear, I look for a reaction, but you seem perfectly willing to have me be sarcastic and hidden, a mask, as everyone you know is. I can't keep it up, though. "Sune, I'm kidding. I've loved many girls, and I know they are full of love, but it seems never for me. Still, my fire does not grow cold with it. It is difficult to love, tis true. Besides, it is a bit hard to keep up a long distance relationship across the Trackless Sea with only Pluma Message to keep in contact. You mentioned your physical form being what all that men want. I do not deny the desire your body has on men. I feel it myself, very much so. It keeps the fires burning. You need that touch to know if you are truly in love, so consider it a first step. Without that touch, I have no girlfriend. For the past year, I have been a traveler, never wanting to make a relationship that I would have to leave. I never would want to break a heart the way that... I like you Sune. I do think your physical form is fantastic, but if that is all that you give a man, then that is all he can love, and remember my love, don't give to an empty heart. Have you never wanted a boyfriend?"

"Have I? But of course. I used to believe in the stuff of fairy tales. Although, if I’m honest... talking isn’t at the top of my list to do anymore..." I lean in and kiss you, feeling a passion that I’ve never had before explode inside me like it was dying to get out. I needed to touch you, to kiss you, to explore you. I raise up onto my knees and grab your shirt to pull you toward me, hoping that you’ll respond the same way.

Flushed with your rush on me, the hunger in your lips and the clinch of your white knuckled grip on my tunic, I gasp in your kiss. My hands find you. My right moves up to your neck and my left reaches behind the small of your back to spread my fingers and press your hips against my enraged cock. I take the kiss to rabid necking that quickens the pace of both our breathing. Blindly lowering my hand from your neck to your collarbone and into the loose and revealing blouse I place my hand firmly in your chest above your heart, my thumb touching your breast and stroking it and push you back still holding onto your lips until I have you suspended between my hands. I open my eyes and see the devouring wolf in your eyes. "Sune." Again I lean forward and bite as much as I kiss your lips and pull back again. "Easy to see you know carnal love. You love with your body." With a strong movement, I move the hand from over your heart, down over your breast, taking with my hand your blouse and tight undergarment with it, exposing your nipple to the night moon. You are well rounded and firm, but I do not look here. I bite and suck where the hand had been. I kiss the heart. "This is what I hunger for. Your heart is what I want to make passionate love to." I bring you back into my arms’ close embrace and bury my head into your soft bosom where I lust for that heart full of the love that I know dwells within, though my cock fights to free itself and race into your lap.

I sit there panting, still. From my eyes, you want something I’m incapable of. "I’m not sure what you’re asking of me, that isn’t something I’ve been taught."

My breath fast and shallow, I pull back to see your face while you talk to me. I look at you lustfully and nod, yes, slowly, in one of those yes’s that have undertones of regret. I pull back your clothes over your modesty. "Love is not taught. I think we should be getting you back to the Inn. It’s late." I quickly stand and reach out my hand to help you up.

I look up at you and realize I've messed up. The inner monologue screams, "By the gods, you do this constantly! Can you not get anything right?! You need to learn to shut up, you talk too much! Now look what you've done! Way to fucking go, you fuck up!"

I quickly stand up on my own, adjusting my top fast, and say while unable to look you in the eyes, "I'll lead you back so you don't get lost, I assume you know your way back from the inn. Follow me." And with that, I start walking. Once back at the alleyway that I pulled you into, I thank you for the evening and proceed to climb up the stock that's boxed outside the inn to reach the second floor ledge so I can pull myself into my room.

I follow lost in my own thoughts. My own monologue berates me, "Smooth move jackass. Just like the last time and all the fucking times before. Oh wait, you have never had a fucking time. How could I forget! A girls shows interest in you, is obviously attracted to you, even has great boobs, bam! You demand love from them. What a dunce! Don’t you know love takes time? You swoon over yourself about true love but you don’t know a damn thing about it." As we come to the Inn, I reach to give you a goodnight kiss, but you had already turned away. I watch you go up the crates and barrels to your Juliet room. I stand there a moment Waiting for you to turn around. You never did.

"Come deary. I’ll forgive you again. You didn’t come by my room so I came here. I have more information about our mark. No no, come." He waits until you obey and then places his hand on your thigh and continues, "Dukalu is from Maztica, but no doubt you know all that already. More importantly he is staying at the Temple to Helm. The exhibit of artifacts that we have been trying to lift is being protected by Helm Warriors" He takes your chin and grins. "You will have no problem with them, but we need to get inside the temple. I think you use your wiles that I have taught you to get Duc to slip you inside, no?". Not being able to wipe that grin off his face, he pulls your chin forward and has you demonstrate your skill at kissing.

I obey, knowing I don't have much choice, but the feeling doesn't spark. There's no electricity. Where's the electricity? I know all the moves he's taught me, all the things he wants me to do, to say, to show. And I do so, obediently, because I have no choice. Carnal love is still enjoyable naturally, but there's no grabbing his shirt or quickening of breath, it isn't the same anymore. I hide that of course! His questions weren't questions, he didn't want my honest answer, he wanted to hear what he wanted to hear, and I gave it to him. I bowed down and gave in to every statement with no fight in me. Afterwards, he said the words that he loved me, but I knew they were empty, and he left; leaving me to curl up in bed, thinking only of the young traveler, and falling asleep.

The next day, I work the inn as always. My head whipping towards the door every time it opens, hoping to see you walk in especially after how last night ended.