Miss Direction listens raptly, drinking in all of this valuable information. Not just on what hero life is like, which really should be advertised to anyone who decides to get into it and hasn't read very many comic books, but on Fortuna's own stakes in this.
"I'm sorry," she tells her. "About your sister. I could have assumed that she had made things personal for you too. In fact, from what I've been able to tell in my limited dealings with her, she likes to make everything personal. She seemed to think she was untouchable." She wants to laugh at the statement, but her lingering guilt as to Lily's fate stops it in her throat. Clearing the failed laugh with a cough.
She kicks her legs idly for a moment, before getting into the meat of why she asked to meet with her. "I wanted to talk to you... about that night, and what really happened between me and Lily when I made that deal with her."
She takes a deep breath. "There's... something... in my mask. An entity of some sort. I heard its voice when I first became Miss Direction, but it had gone silent until I made that deal with Medium Madam. It urged me to do it. To pull her into some strange dreamscape so that we could beat her at her own game." She wraps her arms around herself. "It was a hard battle, and not only because Lily is an exceptionally strong super. Things got very, very personal, and... and in the end, I snapped. I didn't just want to see her defeated. I wanted her to feel as weak as she had made me feel."
She looks up at Fortuna, hoping she wouldn't see judgement behind that famous mask of hers. "I wanted to see her beaten and broken. And part of me wants to believe that the mask was influencing my emotions, making all of that hate and anger bubble up until I lashed out with all of my power at her... but I'm not so sure..."
She shrugs, not sure of what else to say other than, "In the end... it wasn't enough. Lily still got the better of me, but she wasn't expecting for the entity to take over. That's why, when we finally woke up, she was catatonic. It did something to her, and I have no idea if I can trust my own powers anymore..."
That was the reason she had taken so much time off as Miss Direction, though she hated to admit it. The idea of putting on the mask again scared her. But she did it anyway, because she would rather be scared of being Miss Direction than let herself feel like Lily won, regardless of what happened.