runekyndig says:
It was heavy - yes. To heavy? No!
I'm glad you feel that way. I think one of the things that I sometimes try to achieve when I GM is that I, at least conceptually, like the idea of trying to make the Players actually feel something.
I know, for me, that's where I derive immersion from a gaming experience. When I feel something as a player, I feel most connected to my character and the gameworld.
And so when I come up with a scenario like that, in my brain it's like, "What can go wrong!?"
And it sounds like such a great idea "on paper", but jeez, when we're actually RPing through it? As I'm RPing out these things that I'd not want to have to go through in real life, I sometimes get the feeling that I've made a horrible mistake 😅
Like when I envisioned this on paper, it was that Einral would be more of this defiant "Well, you can try to destroy me or you can leave!"-thing. But as we were RPing through it, I realized that this NPC would probably be pretty miserable and could want to die. I didn't see the assisted-suicide "spin" coming. I know we talked about lines and ppl had the opportunity draw that one. But it didn't feel great to me when I realized that's where it was.
In my head it's like, "Oh, it's make believe, so it's a safe place/way to explore a situation like this.", but typing it out it's like, "Oop, this took me somewhere, this doesn't feel great."
At the same time, different ppl derive immersion in different ways, and particularly with PBP where I can't see faces or read body language I have no idea if things are going well or not. At which point it's easy to find reasons to think they may not be going well.
Anyway, I feel like this was exactly the issue that came up in my Star Wars game that you were in, rune. Where we kind of found that pbp can just drag these painful moments out into an uncomfortable amount of time. So where at an in person game something like this might take 5 to 15 minutes to deliberate and RP through and then it's fine, in pbp you end up having to come back to this emotional-place/mindset and re-live/remember it and what lead up to it, and then type out in the right words the post you have to make now, and that re-visiting process goes on for days.
Apparently I learned nothing from that Star Wars game 😖