Boseman High School Shenanigans: Episode 1

Elsewhere in the Cafeteria (Zach, Steve, Emily)

Coming out of the bathroom in a rush, Emily has a good view of what happens next. There’s Steve, sitting with… Zach? Zach is wiping Steve’s face, and then her brother is scrambling to pack his things up — his books, his phone, his tray — and he leaps to his feet and is charging off for the exit… when he runs headlong into a cheerleader. (She is easily identifiable as such from her cheerleader uniform, which includes a little blue and white tank top and a tiny, flouncy skirt that provides anyone who wants with an eyeful of her tiny, color-matched cheerleader panties.)

And it’s not just any cheerleader, though, it’s Kelly Unger, the apex cheerleader. The self-proclaimed hottest and most popular girl in school, a senior, and a Royal B to anyone she doesn’t like. The collision is a big one, and it knocks the blonde sprawling into another table full of kids with half-eaten lunches. Food and drink goes flying as Steve’s own pizza crusts and his very full BIG GULP of Sprite goes sailing… right towards Zach, slow-motion style. The cup will explode like a bomb full of sugary liquid when it lands…

In the Cafeteria (Freddie, Lily, and Wendy)

There’s more hand-slapping, a bro-hug, and a fist bump before Clutch moves off. "Got you, man, you knew I’d come through!"

Wendy, still a little baffled by her bestie’s behavior, just nods at Lily. "Yes," she says quietly. "Yes, we should totally do that. Wait — what should be do?"

Lily isn’t able to answer before the sodabomb goes off…

The Cafeteria

A sixty-four ounce Double Big Gulp, Steve's preferred weapon of carbonated beverage choice, holds a lot of Sprite, Zach finds out the hard way. He's drenched virtually from head to toe as the assembled crowd in the cafeteria howls. There are cries of outrage as a few others are splashed, there are people laughing at Kelly and at Zach, there are people hooting and pointing at Steve...

...who looks beyond mortified. "I'm sorry!" he says to the red-faced, angry cheerleader as she's helped from the ground. "I'm so sorry!" he says to Zach as his drink drips from the boy and pools on the floor beneath him. "It was an accide--"

"You fuckin' idiot!" Banks shouts, jumping up from his table as Noah and a few of the other jocks help Unger back to her feet. The much taller, much stronger boy shoves Steve, sending him stumbling until he slams into the wall and slides down onto the floor. There, a little stunned, he manages to say, "Ow."

Zach suddenly has a fist-full of napkins offered to him -- it's Aaron Connery, and the boy's face is sympathetic as he wordless offers to help.

Nearby, Noah calls over. "Zach -- yo Zach! You alright?"

The Cafeteria

"I'll try," Noah says to Zach, shrugging his broad shoulders as he leaves Kelly in Freddie's capable care. He tries to put a restraining hand on Banks, who is walking towards Steve and Emily with purpose. "Banks! Cool it, bro -- it was an accident!"

"It wasn't," the bigger boy says, shaking his head. "I've seen his jerkoff ogling the cheer squad before, Noah! He was trying to feel up Kelly!"

To Steve, who is just getting back to his feet with the aid of his sister, he says, "Admit it, you little piece of shit! You were all up against her on purpose! I seen you! I seen you sneakin' around, perv!"

Near Zach, Aaron just watches the unfolding drama, not quite sure what to make of it -- like most of the kids present. There's a subset of morons egging Banks on, and some still laughing, but many students are now wondering whether Banks is actually going to beat the shit out of Steve, and some are calling for him not to.

Standing near Fred, Kelly Unger looks more annoyed than anything. There are gross food stains on her outfit, on her skin and in her hair, but she doesn't look as upset as Banks. She's also not reigning the boy in, and when Freddie jokes and asks if she needs a ride home, she manages a small laugh and nods, tucking some hair behind an ear. Across the room, Dave Moore is watching carefully.

"Yeah. Yeah, Freddie -- I need to go clean up. Will you take me home?"

The Cafeteria

Freddie and Kelly slip away as the drama in the cafeteria builds to a breaking point. Emily is trying to pull Steve away, but there's Banks, getting ready to pummel the smaller, younger boy. Then Zach, soaking wet, is in the middle of things... and then there's Lily Palmer, taking pictures and hurling verbal darts at one of the biggest jocks in the school!

The Cafeteria

Banks's hand is up, his fist is balled... but it's Zach in front of him, not Steve. Emily is dragging the wide-eyed boy away when Lily starts taking pictures, and when the crowd suddenly gets behind her -- and behind Zach.

Leave him alone! they cry. Back off! Quit being a jerk! Wow, look at Zach! they call, and then finally, Fucking loser meathead! is repeated, not once, but again and again.

Banks lowers his fist, confused by all the reactions. Noah is try to get him calm down too, and finally the boy relents, throws double middle fingers at Steve as Emily pulls him out of the room, and heads back to his table... beginning the process of the dust settling.

---

"I didn't do anything!" Steve whines to his sister as they run down the hallway. "I was just trying to meet up with you! And what's going on, anyway?"

They're rushing for a side exit that will take them from the hall outside, but before Emily can answer, two people exit a classroom and approach: Ms. Romanov and Mr. Gromn, the custodian. The man is wiping his hands on a rag -- one that looks like it's covered in... blood (?), and Romanov cocks her head at Emily.

"Where are you two going? School isn't out yet," she says, pulling her heavy sweater tighter around her.

Tucking the rag into a pocket in his coveralls, Gromn cocks his head too. He, like the teacher beside him, looks... terrible. Like he's hungover, like he hasn't slept in days. He licks his lips and adds, "Back to the luinch room, both of yous. Eat your lunches."