First Day (01)

Hearing Mom talk about old memories warms me, filling some of the space created in my heart when she’s not around.

I turn around and immediately give her another big hug. "I’m sorry I haven’t come to Protigi yet, Mom. I will soon, I promise."

"It's...it's no big deal, really," I tell her, mostly just wanting to make her feel better about missing out. "It's just high school," I add, mostly just wanting to act like I'm a cool, ancient god like she is and I don't have to care about mundane things like school and graduating. But then I think about how I felt this morning coming into school - early even! - and how different it all felt being my last year.

"If you can make it to the ceremony though, that would be pretty cool."

I’d kind of been hoping this necklace was all the business that needing attending to tonight, but when Grandmother pulls us away, I follow as well.

"Many things" she says, and it feels like most of them can’t be good. If my mother chooses the side of the booth opposite Grandmother, I slide in next to Mom.

I watch her across the table. She's so royal, so regal, she's like an oracle telling me things that aren't true yet but certainly will be one day soon. It's like she's bestowing my part upon me in this fated dance, and I don't know if I can do it.

"I...I'm not sure, I guess. I mean, there have been lots of terrible threats and monsters already - vampires and, and-" Chance "And others. Are you saying more are coming? And am I supposed to start telling everyone I'm a demigod to help somehow? My dad doesn't even know! And he has two of us living under his own roof!"

My concern deepens at Mom's words and my grandmother's continued dark omens. "More what coming?" I insist, looking at grandmother and ignoring what to do about my own dad for now. It all seems so vague and impossible to actually prepare for. Monsters? Gods? What does any of that even actually mean? "Can't we just...stop this at the source if it's so bad?"

My shoulders droop just a bit when my grandmother laughs at me, but she moves on and I'd rather just do the same. She doesn't use the word, but it sounds like she's looking out for Tessera, which is what we all agreed to and what I want, in the end.

I look to Mom, then back at Grandmother, hesitant to ask another stupid question, but wanting to know anyway, "What was the world like? With magic here and alive?" I press my lips together. Honestly, I'm a little nervous that with more magic around, it will mean there are more magic users. Better magic users than me. Even Medora's skills were outmatching mine. What if magic returns, and I'm suddenly...not important and special anymore?

The world my grandmother describes sounds incredible. Magical, serene, with mysteries just waiting to be uncovered around every corner, and power available if you only know where to look. But her description also strengthens my fears about that kind of world meaning I am not as important, or at least have more competition to stay important. It's like going from being a starter on the team, because the pool of athletes is only so deep, to suddenly having to compete with the whole world of athletes just in hopes of suiting up.

"That sounds...like a fairytale." I sit back against the booth, maybe in awe, maybe in exhaustion already at the idea of what's to come. "How can I make sure the mortals aren't endangered by all that?"

I'm quietly concerned about how hard Dad might fight against the changes, and I squeeze Mom's hand when she takes mine, meeting her eyes briefly and trying to convey my fears in that one look.

"I...I'll try," I tell her, tell them. I take a breath. Maybe this is a good thing. If people can accept magic, then maybe they can accept things like Knox and I being together, publicly. In a lot of ways, convincing Dad to accept magic seems like it might be easier than convincing Dad to accept my much older, god-boyfriend who I want to live with instead of going to college.

"It's...going to be worth it, in the end."

The noise of the party slamming back into us is about as jarring as Grandmother's conclusion of our meeting. I actually flinch a little as the noise hits me again, and I quickly let go of Mom's hand, feeling sort of childish for needing to hold it in the first place.

I take a short breath, collecting myself and blinking a few times before I slip out of the booth. "Grandmother," I say quickly to stop her before she can go. I open my arms to her. "Where is my goodbye hug?"