Back at the Start (02)

I'm practically bubbling over with delight when Jenny seems totally bought into my take on Zeus. I'm about to tell her that she should totally write a short story about him when Will's voice gets my attention. I look back at him just in time to catch him looking my way before he conveniently names "his character" after me. Frell this guy. I swear to the gods, if he weren't Ares' son, I would call down a lightning bolt to fry his dick off right now.

My jaw goes tight when he answers Eudora's attempt at turning the conversation positive by talking about websites dedicated to exactly that kind of tralk.

"You'd know all about those kinds of websites," I tell him, crossing my arms over my chest. "They're the only place you can go to get your dick up."

At first I'm sure Calliope is just going to check on me to make sure I'm okay before she lays into Will. It takes me a second to process that she's making me the problem here, not him. My lips part in shock and in wordless protest before I close it, glare at Will, then look back at Calliope to see that, yes, she is serious about this.

I look back at him, at that smug look on his smug face that makes me think of My King, wrestling over what to do.

"I'm sorry," I finally mutter, then I turn away, crossing my arms and sinking lower in my seat, glaring down at my desk. This is so frelling unfair.

I roll my eyes in full agreement with Axel's words, but I'm too angry and embarrassed to say anything more about it. I just mutter that Jenny should share about her character, because I know she'll want to talk allllll about it, then zone out for a bit and try to let things settle back to normalcy.

But I can't get out of my head the way Will deflated at my apology. I should be reveling in taking away his fun, but instead I'm worried that I've made myself uninteresting to him and that will only make it harder to get to know him so I can try to...I don't know...be closer to Ares I guess? Do right by Ares?

I pull out my phone and text Will under my desk:
FYI, I meant, "I'm sorry you have to rely on Dollar Tree cam girls on the internet to get your rocks off." Zokhole.

I knew something snide and annoying was going to come back from Will, but I was not prepared for that. My eyes go wide and I have about three seconds of shock before I can even look over at him. I find him looking at me, which turns my shock to anger, my jaw snapping shut and eyes narrowing.

I text him back:
You would need MY help to please a girl.

I scoff softly at his reply, turning to him to roll my eyes before I text back:
Oh, you're going to be there too? Good to know. I'll make sure to bring my mace and have someone watch my drink when my back is turned.

I don't actually respond about helping him "bag a girl" together. Of course I'm not going to do that, but the idea is still a little titillating and I can't let him get even a whiff of that fact. He already thinks I'm a tralk, not that I care what he thinks.

Will chuckles when he reads your reply but doesn't text back. What do you do while Axel talks about his favorite character, some guy named Ichiban Kasuga, who is somehow like a dragon?

As time goes on and I realize Will probably isn't going to respond again, I'm actually kind of...disappointed? It should feel like I won, right? I had the last word. But he laughed and didn't respond. What does that mean?

I try to refocus on the conversation now that Jenny's done pontificating and ask Axel, "So he's like a shapeshifter or something?"

I flush a little. "Sorry. I wasn't really paying attention I guess." I lick my lips, trying to find a way to recover, but I'm distracted by hearing the Yakuza mentioned. It makes me think of the night Regina died. The night I almost lost Knox.

"Sorry," I say again instead, drawing back into quietness again, no longer interested in trying to engage with this stupid school activity.

Jenny and Axel chat and Ichiban for a bit and you zone out until you notice your phone buzz with a text - it's from Kastor:
What's wrong? Ignore Jenny, she's an idiot.

When my phone buzzes, I'm sure it's Will again, finally back with some hurtful insult, but then it's Kastor - Kastor noticing, Kastor caring, Kastor comforting. It's almost enough to make me cry.

It's not her. Just thinking about Regina.

Keep it together, Jules. Don't be that girl. Nobody wants to be the girl crying in the back of class. Especially after I got called out for what I said to Will. Everyone will think it's about him.

You don't realize the blurriness in your vision comes from the tears, at first. You flick one away, but more well up to replace it. An unwanted sniff pulls the attention of classmates. You see Oliver Green whip out his phone and snap a pic before you can hide. Jenny is "so concerned" about you and makes herself seem like a genuine and caring person as she highlights your weakness as... "The Crying Girl".

I want to glare at Oliver, but I know doing that is just going to give him a better shot of my face, so I look away quickly when I catch him snapping a photo instead, hoping it's at least not worth sharing.

Frell, I can't believe I'm crying right now, but I feel the empty place Regina left right now like it's a hole in my heart. I didn't realize what a good friend she was when I had her.

Calliope offers a pass, which is nice, I guess, but also terrible, because now it's a whole thing. Well, more of a thing than it already was. Will's comment makes me turn to glare at him, a spike of anger momentarily overriding the grief.

I stand up, gathering my stuff into my arms. "Yes," I say, heading to the front of the room and feeling a thousand eyes on my back as I do. Waiting for Calliope to give me the pass is torture.