Back at the Start (02)

For a split second, this moment feels absolutely magical. And then the spell is shattered as the doors burst open and we suddenly have company. I pull my hands back from Annika, the thrumming of my pulse quickening with the new panic of being caught, a clash of hot hormones and a flood of adrenaline. Annika, at least, keeps herself composed and calm in the midst of the interruption, moving to her towel as if this is just another day in gym class.

Ida pulls Emma away before I can formulate sentences again and somehow my lips feel dry even though they're wet with steam, water, and Annika's lip gloss. Annika disappears too, and even though the ache in my body hasn't been satisfied, the fear of getting caught again keeps me from doing anything more right now - even for myself. I turn to face the wall and quickly work at getting the remaining spaghetti and tomato sauce out of my hair. I'm sure these feelings will fade soon enough. I just need to get on with my day at this point.

You take a shower to clean yourself off. Emma enters the shower sheepishly and glances over at you for a moment before she moves to a shower head and peels off her towel as she turns on the water to wash herself quickly. You realize your clothes are strewn on the shower floor - and ruined.

What's your plan to get dressed and head to AP Psych?

I blush a little when I realize the trail of clothes I left behind are not only a dead giveaway but also mean I can't just put them back on after this. I guess I could put on my gym clothes and just wear those the rest of the day...and smell like sweat and lockers. I'm sure Melony or Victoria won't use that against me.

I quickly scrub away the remaining spaghetti, then, trying to channel Annika's cool, head over to my wet clothes and gather them up in my arms like that's what everyone does in the showers here. I look over at Emma, clear my throat, and ask, "Do you happen to have an extra change of clothes here? Mine got wet." I'm holding them in a sopping pile against my chest, waiting for her response.

Jeans and a hoodie are better than gym clothes, but not perfect. Still, I'm a little surprised by Emma's immediate willingness and the way she looks at me before turning away...my body responds like it's a hunter spotting prey in the forest. Everything dials in and ramps up. It takes effort to remind myself that we are in a populated post-gym locker room, not alone, and this isn't the time for fooling around.

"Thanks," I tell her. "I'll see if anyone else has a second set of clothes, otherwise I'll take you up on that." With that, I head over to grab a towel to wrap around myself before I head out of the showers to the locker room to hunt down someone who might be willing to share.

Clad in a towel and holding your clothes and phone, you search the locker room for someone with another outfit to spare. You glance around the locker room. The cold air sends a shiver down your spine, and you wrap the towel tighter around yourself. You need dry clothes - and fast. A few girls are still hanging around after gym, talking, rummaging through their bags, or minding their own business.


- Talia Nguyen sits cross-legged on a bench, lacing up her boots. She’s always the last one out of the locker room, lost in her own world. Her backpack bulges with random clothes—she likes to be prepared for anything. But Talia doesn’t give without reason. She’s into crystals and tarot, so if you ask her for help, she’ll probably want something in return - maybe your birth chart, or for you to stop by and let her "read your energy" sometime.


- Jade Kingston, a sprinter on the track team, pulls her hair into a tight bun. Her extra practice gear is stuffed into a duffel bag beside her. If you ask, she might be willing to help, but Jade’s competitive streak runs deep - she’ll want something back, likely a favor you’ll have to pay in front of her friends. Maybe she’ll want you to publicly vouch for her to make her look good in front of the coaches. Your running last year is still a legend in the school.


- Vivian Parker, a quiet junior who keeps to herself, adjusts her hoodie and fiddles with the zipper of her tote bag. She always looks like she’s about to disappear into the background, but you’ve heard whispers that her parents own a local boutique. She probably has a change of clothes with her, but Vivian’s not likely to offer unless she thinks there’s something in it for her - like future leverage, a bit of protection from bullies, or maybe just a little bit of friendship from someone like you.

Each option feels like it comes with a cost.

As I survey the most promising options available, I feel like Vivian might have the cutest clothes to offer, but the uncertainty about what she might demand makes me hesitate. I already have Izzy clinging to my coattails to get into the popular crowd. Too many of those kinds of clingers-on at once, and I'll start to look desperate myself. Jade would be a good option, but most of her stuff leans pretty athletic in general, and while that's a vibe, I need to be looking my best after a day like today. Talia is a toss up in that department. Who knows what she's got inside that bag of hers - could be adorable, could be pretty average. But I think the cost will be worth it, so I head over to her.

"Hey Talia, my clothes got all wet." I heft the pile in my hands higher as if to demonstrate. "You don't happen to have some extra something I could borrow, do you?" I eye her obviously overstuffed backpack.

Something's been off with me lately? I just barely resist lifting a skeptical eyebrow at her. Since when has she been paying attention to my "aura"? And how off could it really be?

I'm fully convinced that everything she thinks she senses or sees is made up, but telling her that now means no clothes for me.

"I have study hall at the end of the day. Are you free then?" I decide not to comment either way on my aura...I feel like she might hear the lie in my voice if I do.

Talia has a weird perspective on the library, which has always been little more than a fluorescent-lit container for outdated books and people making out in back sections. But I'm not going to argue with her.

"Sure, I'll be there," I tell her, taking the clothes before she can change her mind or decide that I need a cleansing right now. At least the clothes smell good. Lavender is nice. I head over to a clear section of bench so I can set my things down and quickly pull on the borrowed clothes. I go underwear and braless, but thankfully being small-chested has its advantages. Sure, I might nip out all over the place, but sagging and support aren't really a problem. I take a few minutes checking my hair in the mirror to make sure I got all the noodles out before I head to class.

"Oh, I..." I glance at the clothes in Emma's arms. She seems a little pitiful right now somehow, and I feel bad. I don't want to just shut her down. I look around like I'm checking to make sure no one will overhear, then lean closer and whisper, "It's just that I don't have any underwear right now and I thought jeans might, you know, chafe." I pull back a bit, speaking normally, "Thanks so much for offering, though. Really."

Emma's outrage catches me totally by surprise. I blink in shock as she goes off. What is she even talking about... Life vests??

I shake my head, but she's got more to say so I just keep shaking my head in silent protest until she's done. "E-Emma, no, that's not..." I trail, flabbergasted by this whole thing. "I-if you want to come to the reading, you can. Talia and I are meeting in the library in last period, by the mythology section." I stammer a second, trying to find something else I can offer her, even though she seems a little crazy right now. "I...I could use your sweatshirt actually. Since I'm not wearing a bra anymore either. For, you know, coverage?" I ask it like a question, but more like I'm asking does that make it better? than do you understand my need to avoid public nippage?

After Emma leaves, I look down at the well-loved sweatshirt, rubbing my fingers over the crackled print. I sigh softly and shake my head at myself. You save a girl's life one time, and suddenly you can't even borrow clothes from somebody else without it being a whole thing.

I sigh once more, letting it go, then pull the sweatshirt over my head and hustle to class.

You make it to AP Psych before the late bell rings. Willow smiles when you enter - she was watching for you. Surely she heard about the lunchroom thing, but she didn't text you about it. Kinsley smirks when you walk by, and Bryan asks if you're okay. Chloe's on her phone. Lilli is lifting something out of Chloe's backpack without her noticing.

What do you do?

I have to admit, after what happened earlier, seeing Red smile at me feels pretty good. At least it's a welcoming face. Still, I'm eager to just sit down and try to lay low for a little while, so I ignore Kinsley and Bryan, and say nothing about Lilli's little pickpocketing. Chloe probably deserves that.

When I sit down, I pull out my phone and text Axel:
Sorry I bailed. Are you guys okay?