Back at the Start (02)

My jaw drops when I see the picture.

dren, dude. They really went in on you. I'm fine.

I send the text then scroll back to look at the picture again. Because I can't look away. Because it makes my heart beat a little faster and it feels wrong considering I know he's hurt, but...

ngl though...it's kind of hot. :fire_emoji: :kissy_emoji:

I stare at my phone for a minute, sure I'm misreading things. "Cool cool"? Did Axel really just "cool cool" me telling him he's hot? And then mention some other girl instead? I mean, dren, I know he's got it bad for Elena, but I'm just flirting with him and he couldn't even have the common decency to flirt back even a little? With me?

I click off my phone like he's going to somehow magically feel my rejection back through it and sink down a little in my seat. One thing's for sure, I will absolutely be conveniently forgetting to tell Elena anything about Axel being a cool, strong hero. Whoops.

I pull out my phone again even though I just put it away. I didn't really want to put my phone away, just Axel.

I send two texts, one right after another, hoping to prove to myself that Axel's the one who's crazy here.

To Knox:
I miss you. Can't wait to feel you inside me again

To Kastor:
Looking forward to after school. Fair warning, I got spaghetti spilled on me at lunch, so I'm not wearing any panties.

Knox texts back pretty quickly:
Send me a hot selfie.

Kastor texts back this selfie:

With the message:
That's hot.

I'm reading Knox's text, trying to figure out if a hot selfie is even possible right now with class starting. I'm considering asking for the bathroom pass, but doing that so early in the class is probably going to catch me a bunch of side-eye.

And then Kastor's text comes in.

Gods, he's so frelling hot. Seeing his picture makes my mouth go dry and somehow salivate at the same time. And his two-word message sends little zings through my body. SEE, Axel? SEE how this is supposed to go?

I text Kastor back because it doesn't require any finagling of passes to do so:
You're hot.

Kastor texts back:
Wanna cut next class and head out earlier?

He's spending a string he has on you and offering an XP.

It's so frelling tempting to just sneak off with Kastor. I would love to spend the afternoon finally satisfying my needs with him, and we'd still have time for art in the park before dinner. Buuut I look down at my stupid sweatshirt and sigh softly.

I think Soph would kill me if I skip a class we share so soon. And Emma will for sure go full banshee if I bail on this study hall thing I invited her to in the library. :weary_face: I would totally love to bail on class to hang out. But I can't.

Then I add:
School is the worst.

Kastor responds simply with:
School does suck. See you after.

You tune back in to hear your teacher - Mr. Cooper, writing on the whiteboard the lesson for the day - Gender is a Biopsychosocial Construct. Several classmates chuckle and you hear Chloe scoff.

I hope I haven't turned Kastor off completely, but I made my bed, I have to lay in it now. Hopefully not all alone.

When I look up, I glance at the whiteboard, but honestly, my gaze mostly goes to Mr. Cooper's zok while he's turned around writing. I realize it a moment later and quickly look away. Frell, I need to get laid. Now I'm lusting after teachers. I don't really care much about the topic of the day by comparison.

I know that if I asked, Red would sneak off to the bathroom with me and meet every demand I made of her. And it would be good, and I'd feel great. Except I don't want it to just be another time with Red. I want to get satisfaction beyond just some rote servitude I'm already used to.

"I'm fine," I whisper back, waving her off like an annoying fly.

I sigh and put my elbow on my desk, chin in my hand as I look at the stupid body drawing in front of me. It reminds me of a chalk outline at a murder scene. I scribble a couple of gimmes down - pink, blue, trucks, dolls, skirts, pants, whatever - and look over at Cris when he whispers to me. I glance down at myself.

"Oh, uh..." I hesitate, not wanting to say something that Emma might hear about later that will freak her out again. "It's not mine. I'm fine, just ah..." My gaze goes to Cris's lips for a moment. Beautiful, kissable lips. "Just trying to figure out if Mr. Cooper is expecting us to write about dicks and boobs on here or not," I huff a quiet laugh. "I thought that kind of stuff landed you in detention, you know?"

I suppress a snicker at his paper, then quickly scribble a few words on mine before turning it so he can see. I've added "tacos, eggplants, peaches" to my list.