SEND IN THE CLONES III : The Run-around

In a familiar featureless room at the bottom of an elevator shaft you wait a long time standing at attention while watched by four familiar guard bots.

Finally a familiar door slides open and the distastefully familiar BLUE form of Cleto- B-QRK-2 enters accompanied by two familiar YELLOW companions: Dewey-Y-JLK and Sunny-Y-TLS.

Dewey looks at Cart significantly then leans over and whispers into Sunny-Y's ear.

Cleto says, "Troubleshooters The Computer is gravely disappointed in you. Against specific instructions you did not return here promptly at the conclusion of your mission. This reflects very badly on your loyalty record"

"mumble mumble loyal mumble zzz" I reply as a try to stay awake.

"Sorry, sir! Had a bit of a memory loss due to possibly being killed... But that's clearly no excuse! I'll fully accept this blow upon my record..." Brett makes a great bow in shame.

"Traitors sabotaged our route back sir, in order to prevent the Computer from achieving the full glory! A perfectly reliable lift malfunctioned, due to countermeasures hidden in the children we escorted. Then similar sabotage outside the Troubleshooter HQ caused my hygiene device to malfunction as well. Let the cameras show we were promptly outside HQ, deducting the time lost due to sabotage."

"You mumble unhygienic zzz hygiene!"

Pay Close attention and DON'T INTERRUPT!

The computer has learned of your success in accomplishing its previous mission. Before hearing your... delayed report, I bring you news that The Computer has rewarded your success with another opportunity to serve!

"zzz zzz snort Serve and clean! Zzz" you not sure if that is a reply to Cleto or to a dream...

"We would be honoured to continue to serve. However, we require maintenance to be in optimal condition to serve. Request rest and hygiene time as specified by the Troubleshooter directives, sir."

"Yes! It would be an honour to loyally continue serving Friend Computer! What is our next important task, Cleto Sir?" Brett says ignoring Cart's request.

I said don't interrupt!

Now - you troubleshooters have been chosen, selected among all others, to take on a highly confidential mission.

The video heroin Teela-O-MLY is a traitor of the basest and most devious kind she and her associates have been conclusively implicated in the diversion of valuable biological research equipment to an illegal destination in NBD sector. The Computer knows the nature of equipment but this information is not available at your security clearance.

Teela-O-MLY disappeared some time ago. The Computer has been using electronically generated images of her during her absence. She was last seen in the Housing Preservation and Development & Mind Control: Entertainment Division in NBD sector.

Your assignment: go into HPD & Mind Control; locate and retrieve the missing equipment; locate and terminate Teela-O-MLY. Anyone who has associated with her recently is almost certainly a traitor and should be apprehended for interrogation and possible termination.

The Computer wishes to stress the importance of secrecy at all times during your mission. Betrayal of the information I have given you is grounds for immediate and comprehensive termination. Here is an authorized termination voucher. Do not reveal it to anyone unless absolutely necessary.

Who is the team leader?

I look around a bit lost, switching between to Brett and Cart, having forgotten what happened to the team leader with all that happened ythe day before. It could be clonal memory loss, of sleep deprivation. However, this time I have learned the lesson and I don't interrupt Cleto as he waits for an answer after he finished.

Noooooo, not Teela-O-MLY! Beautiful Teela, lovely Teela in her creaseless orange jumpsuit and magnificiently huge pair of eyes... Cart wasn't sure whether he had said that out loud or inside his sleepy head. "As equipment officer I request proper restraint and termination equipment to do so, sir. And clearance for the Troubleshooter team to enter the appropriate zones to find her."

Brett was a little surprised that the famous actor is a filthy traitor all along, but he does not particularly care much about her. Meh, her show is over-rated anyways...

As for the matter of team leader, Brett is unsure if Cleto meant it as the position title, or as generally the representative of the team. In any case, he also kept his mouth shut as instructed by the man in blue.

that's actually a fair point equipment officer.
He hands Cart a termination voucher for Teela-O-MLY.

You may need to access areas above your current clearance in order to track down the traitor. The computer has authorized me to promote your team leader to yellow status.

Cleto hands Brett a voucher good for temporary assignment of Kevlar armor and two yellow laser barrels. The voucher States explicitly this equipment is transferable to the leader's successor or replacement.

before proceeding with details of your glorious mission to exterminate this unspeakably villainous traitoress, I would have you relate the details of your previous venture. we must rely on your accurate exhaustive and unvarnished account of the episode. Be quick and succinct waste no time with polite formalities!

Brett's eyes lit up when he sees the voucher. "Oh my! A promotion?! Thank you, Friend Computer!" Brett cheers as he kissed the voucher.

We went down that lift and the bot blew up, then there was a tunnel, and we were betrayed by our own traitorous team member who were communists infiltrators trying to stop the great Friend Computer then there where crazy bots on dirty water and a giants wave and then we met this crazy lady that was going to kill us, but she didn't and we found a bunch of kids under the evil influence of mutated evil that took us to Captain Bootaroo's recording studio where the kids went nuts with their illegally obtained blasters but then miss Teela rescued us after those little devils blew up captain bootaroo and we managed to call for help and take the kids to safety. There was a not of traitorous evidence collected from that studio! I say as the coffee kicks in!

Still exhausted, and under pressure from the demand to be succinct, Cart reverted to his speech tic. "Serious summons! Menacing music! Tricky tubes! Slippery sewers! Terrible team traitors! Ravaging robots! Wild wet water! Wand-waving woman! Gnashing gate! Secret studio! Yammering youngsters! Ennervating explosions! Pesky powder! Barreling Botaroo! Timely Teela! Sinister security! Levitating lift! Pernicious pee!

At the moment Will mentions Teela the guardbots' lasers and blasters immediately lock on the Troubleshooters. Alarms sound. Cleto and the yellows draw lasers and back away warily.

"Hello there friendly robot! I think I've seen this somewhere before" I say as I step away from the elevator (or any other enclosed area for that matter!)

Brett also quickly mimics the behaviour of everyone by pointing his fingers like a gun and looking around the room. "What?! What is going on? Are we being under attack?!"

"We are pleased to report that the aforementioned traitor in not in this vicinity, nor are there any treasonous thoughts here. All hail friend Computer!"

attention Blue Squadron we have commie sympathizers detained in troubleshooter HQ. Trouble shooter team have admitted to fraternizing with known traitor Teela-O-MLY.

Cleto uses his PDC to summon the blue vulture squad and backs out of the room with the two yellows. they leave through the door closing and locking it behind them. The troubleshooters are left alone in the room with the guard bots.

"That information is incorrect. We were under instructions from friend Computer in order to put a stop to the treasonous music. Traitor Teela-O-MLY eluded our capture and framed us. The records will show this." Cart interrupted before Cleto could leave.

"Hey, robo-pals! We are not the traitors, or atleast I know I'm not! Why not put your guns away from a loyal yellow troubleshooter?" Brett says as he raises his hands.

"Easy robot easy. I think you're suppose to take us to the NBD sector. What Fair and wise Cleto-B-QRK said was that troubleshooters at the HQ need to detain commie sympathiser and traitor Teela-O-MLY I try to fast talk the robot to switch the orders

One of the little guard box is confused by your deception and stands down. A moment later the door is kicked open by the blue vulture Squadron called in by Cleto.

you're taken to a detention center by the Vulture Squadron guards. Your weapons are taken and you're left in a cell marked "For Immediate Termination!"

before you can straighten your rumpled uniforms another squad of guards roust you out of the cell. Pretty soon you're standing on a rickety plastic gallows all in a line with nilon nylon ropes around your neck. The traps are about to open. You're going to fall The last Mile. The blue Squadron leader asks, do you have any final words?

Cart pushed every button on every piece of equipment in his backpack when his weapons were being taken away, but before they took his equipment.

"A true loyal citizen keeps it clean for the Friend Computer! 🎵Keep it clean 🎵 mind, body and chip 🎵 all clean 🎵 keep it all clean"
Those were my last words of loyalty.

"Yes! This shall be the final trick of Brett the Great and Mystifying!"

As the intsec troopers march away with Cart's assorted equipment a cacophony of small explosions is overshadowed by a cacophony of large explosions followed by sizzling crackle and smell of ozone that usually accompanies a patriotic display of fireworks. A moment later, the intsec trooper carrying the bag and all of the surrounding equipment implodes into a newly formed wormhole that devours itself seconds later.

As you stand at the gallows awaiting the plummet to (un)certain death you hear a distinct sound of a latch spring followed by a sizzling noise as the circuitry inside the floor fries causing the trap door to fail.

Brett suddenly swings wildly and violently as if he were a piñata being hit by some sort of invisible bat causing him to crash into Will and then Cart, like some sort of giant human newton's cradle.

Buzzers sounds and alarms shriek. The ropes are taught but do not quite restrict your breathing.

The Computer's voice is heard over the loudspeaker system,
An unfortunate clerical error has been brought to my attention. Please transfer the Troubleshooters from the cell marked "FOR IMMEDIATE TERMINATION" to the cell marked, "FOR IMMEDIATE INTERROGATION" Your cooperation is appreciated.

A RED clearance tech rushes over and sheepishly saws the ropes free with a knife, the traps open and you drop (THUD) beneath the gallows. A team of Green Goons appear to escort you to the new holding cell.

"Dear gracious, most benevolent computer! Interrogation sounds much nicer! I shall conduct it in the cleanest way possible!"

"Darn, there goes some excellent equipment. I suppose staying alive is preferable to plentiful possessions."

"Oh, I'm still alive? I mean, yes! My magical performance worked!" Brett cheers as the guards carried the 3 of them away.

You are carelessly tossed into a stinkpot of a holding cell. After a few moments an ELITE GREEN TROOPER enters the cell.

He paces back and forth slowly as if measuring his words before starting.

And then, like an eruption he begins rapid-firing questions:

To Cart What is your connection to TEELA-O-MLY?
To Brett What was your favorite TEELA-O-MLY made for daycycle telescreen movie?
To Will If Teela-O-MLY-1 is on a train leaving sector CGO at oh two hundred travelling 40 MPH with a layover in Sector PDX and TEELA-O-MLY-2 is on a train leaving sector LAX at 0300 on a FRIDAY traveling 120 MPH at what time will the two trains meet?

To no one in particular: What are the current whereabouts of Teela-O-MLY, How long have you been in contact with Teela-O-MLY Are you aware of a Teela-O-MLY fan club? What do you think Teela-O-MLY's favorite pig-out treat is?

"Well, I mean, there are 2 TEELAs? They'd meet at daycycle telescreen showtime no? I'm not sure... two of them? How does that work?" I start to reply to the first question, clearly braking under the pressure "40 +120 - X with with TEELA's mass, that would be a force from PDX... but, are both TEELA's the same weight or is one a bit more of a sweet-tooth?"

"Teela-O-MLY was in Bootaroo's office, I have met her for 5 minutes. Lovely lady. I have seen no fans..." look sideways to Cart "Clearly bacon is her favorite treat from pigs when she goes out!"

"A traitor who was disguised or took the form of Teela-O-MLY appeared in the recording studio where we encountered the junior citizens and captain Botaroo. We can certainly conclude that it wasn't Teela-O-MLY as she is an artificial construct, as her telescreen videos clearly depict. We did not meet Teela-O-MLY. No real Teela-O-MLY was met by us. Any real Teela-O-MLY must be the result of commie deception. Let us uncover the truth behind this deception on behalf of friend Computer!"

"My favourite Teela-O-MLY movie? Hmm... I suppose its that one where she kills the commie mutant traitors... Or were they the mutant commie traitors? Anyways, the movie's name has slipped my mind! But perhaps it doesn't matter anymore since she has sadly became one of them traitors... It would be a real pity when she turns into an ugly mutant too!"

"Ah yes, a good movie, that one: Cyber Teela Kills traitor mutants and commies 32!" I help to brett and then turn to cart "Are you saying Teela is not real? Well, then that changes everything! If we have two virtual Teela's spontaneously generating at sectors CGO and PDX at speeds of 40 MPH and 120 MPH we can apply a transform to those derivative here and the string function suggests that they'd likely self annihilate before ever meeting!!!"

"Boot cleaning is my strength 🎶 Licking is unhygienic 🎶 And you can taste the leather 🎶" I sing metagamingly as I see that 19

The elite green trooper scribbles furiously along on his datapad with a stylus as Will works out the story problem:

... Carry the one, allow for oxidation and....

He quietly reviews the answers that the troubleshooters have given, a look of chagrin appears on his face.

With a look of complete disappointment he announces that you are free to return to the debrief room.

When the troubleshooters arrive Cleto-B is back at his desk flanked by the two yellows acting as if nothing had happened.

Thank you for your mission report now you must proceed to production logistics in commissary to receive special equipment required for the successful completion of this mission. After outfitting proceed to research and development there The Computer's loyal R&D scientists will assign you experimental equipment for field testing. After procuring the equipment return here immediately for your final briefing. Proceed without delay. This ruthless trader presents a serious threat to the security of The Computer, Alpha Complex and all its citizens. Failure to return promptly is evidence of insubordination and even treasonous intent. If there are any further questions requisition an information inquiry form and dispatch at the headquarters for processing at once. Thank you for your cooperation. Serve The Computer. The Computer is our friend. Dismissed!

Brett gave a salute. "Yes, Cleto Sir! I'm glad that our report have shown that we are not seduced by the traitorous Teela!" He then gives his comrades a suspicious glance. Then, he points out the exit door. "Let's go get our new loyal equipment!"

"Equipment! Cart perked up at the mention of that word. It almost superceded his feelings for Teela. "Ready to serve friend Computer!"

I'll pick up an information inquiry form and start writing a demand for further information on the R&D research hygienic standards and the general cleanliness of the experimental equipment.

the information inquiry form is available in the troubleshooter counseling loyalty and equipment bureau office located inside the PLC

The troubleshooters exit the room bound for Production Logistics & Commissary. They find the directory of offices next to a bank of elevators, once quite extensive has been reduced to 6 listings:

1301 Office of Production
12902-A Office of Logistics
444/3 - Office of Commissary
511 - Complex Supply Bureau
4004 - Registration & Requisitions
307-B - Complex Coordinating & planning commission (water recycling division)

"PLC, production logistics in commissary" I look carefully at the elevator listing. "Production..." I press 1301 "...Logistics..." I continue pressing 12902 "...Commissary.. hey! where is this line thing button?" I stop after pressing 444.

"Production first!" Cart looked a little dismayed as Will punched a number of buttons in the elevator. That seemed the surest way to cause the elevator to malfunction again. He was totally out of equipment after he imploded them all earlier, and felt very naked without something to tinker with. He was also beginning to miss the GR8 bot he became attached to for all of two hours.

Brett takes a look at the list, and believed that Will have entered the wrong buttons. "No, no! We are meant to enter one level at a time! We ought to go to Logistics, as its where they would hand out our new items!"

Brett remembers his additional duty, and takes out the Multicorder to record the journey. "We are now looking to get our new equipment! Hopefully we are on the right path..." He says to his held device while recording the scene. "I propose we go straight! What do ya think?"

"Logistics? Er, ok." Cart's dreams of producing his own equipment faded somewhat. Perhaps they already had equipment available to be issued to them.

"Wait! Where is 2000-9999?" I wonder as I look at the new signs "Doesn't matter, 12902 is in front!" I then agree with brett, trusting his magical senses

Cart was crestfallen that he saw no equipment of any sort in the room, but since they were here he decided to ask. Approaching one of the executives at a table, "We are here to receive our equipment for our next mission. What are we required to do?"

"Hey guys! Anyone knows where the 3 fours is?" I shout as soon as I enter the room with my finger gunning everyone.

With one hand holding the multicorder, Brett takes out his coupon for the yellow level equipment and began waving it about. "Yoo hoo! Loyal troubleshooters here looking for their newly assigned equipment!"

with the exception of a couple of brief glances, the majority of the room completely ignore Brett and Will.

The junior executive that Cart has approached glances at him for a second and then goes back to stamping papers

You want requisitions and acquisitions. Stevens is handling that.

"We have to go to Requisitions and Acquisitions first." Cart repeated to the other two, and headed back out, returning to the elevator.

"Oh alright, back again we go!" Brett says while still recording.

"Your desk is very unclean my friend. have you considered the impact on your loyalty to..." I look up as the clerk mentions the R&A "Was that room 4004? It's one of the missing numbers!"

The junior exec slams down the stamp on the sheet of paper in front of him. He turns his eyes towards Will and speaks through gritted teeth,

thank you for pointing out the cleanliness of my desk citizen, if you're looking for Stevens he is not in acquisitions and requisitions, he is three desks back and two desks over, processing acquisition and requisition forms. Now if you don't mind...

Irritated with the distraction the junior executive returns to his stamping.

"Searching Stevens!" Cart did a 180 degree, and came back behind Will, to follow him and Brett to Stevens' table.

"one, two, three back and ... over where again? I look around, looking for Brett to magically identify Stevens

"Hmm, three back, two over..." Brett tries to guess the location. He looks at the desks behind the junior exec, and will walk up to the one he believes is correct.

Stevens is removing staples from stacks of paper and then rearranging them into new stacks and restapling them. He looks up at you. His face is remarkably similar to the previous Junior executive,
Who sent you over here was it Jenkins? Of course he would send you over to me he hasn't kept up with his i-95 roster changes since the last quarterly report. I used to be in acquisitions and requisitions and now I am in installations and insulations. It was a mostly lateral move but I think it's going to be good for my career.
You need to talk to Lemon, he's the new guy in charge of acquisitions and requisitions. He's like three more over and one back. Or was it one over and three back. I don't know he's over there somewhere.
.

He returns to his task

"I knew it! It's because his desk is so untidy isn't it? No body can d loyal work in that mess!" I say to myself when Jekin's productivity is clarified. "Lemon..." I look around... "three back and two over and then one over and three back, that's ... 3b + 2o -3b +1o..."

"When life gives you lemons, strike while the iron is hot!" That was one of Cart's favourite proverbs he learnt from incubator school. He selected the opposite what Will had counted off, to cover both bases.

"Thank you for the clarification, citizen!" Brett says as he zooms into Steven's face, then turns the multicorder to the rows of desks. "Eenie meenie miney mo..."

Will's guy is reading a brochure. There is nothing on his desk.

Cart's guy is diligently folding brochures and putting them into envelopes. He is wearing headphones.

Brett's guy is on a phone call. There is a bunch of stuff on his desk. He holds a handset up to his ear, yes, Mr Bigley...No Mr Bigley... Right Away Mr Bigley... You got it Mr Bigley...

"Greetings and salutations! Greenthings and solicitations!" Cart repeated different versions of it until he managed to get his guy's attention, accompanied with waving of arms in front of the guy in case he couldn't hear him.

"Hello! You are now live on daytime-screening!" Brett says to get his guy's attention. "Wait, is it day or night now? Anyways, are you Lemon?" Brett will keep smiling and staring as he waits for him to answer.

"Hello loyal citizen. It seems you're quality controlling important materials for information distribution. Would you happen to have one of those pointing to Lemon?"

Cart's guy removes his headphones and makes the what do you want face at him.

Brett's guy: just one second Mr Bigley,
He's furiously searching through stacks of paper, he covers the mouth piece with his hand and hisses at you,
look I'm a little busy right now why don't you go bother somebody else.
you can hear yelling back at him through the earpiece
oh no I wasn't talking to you Mr Bigley, I wouldn't dream of it, there was somebody here but he's going away now, his attention is back on his work, okay I've got that patent number right here, it's T-H-X-2-0-0-1-W-A-I-K-I-K...

Will's guy: He looks up from the brochure, and notices your face. His eyes dart back and forth. He folds up his brochure and puts it into a file cabinet on his right. He gives you a knowing look and wags his finger at you
Uh, Lemon? Sure I've got that file right here.
He reaches into a file cabinet on his left and rifles through a few files before pulling out a red envelope and handing it to you.

"Greedthongs and superstitions! Are you Lemon? I need requisitions and acquisitions."

"Alright, I can wait..." Brett turns around on the spot to look for his other mates, seeing if they had any luck.

I look at the envelop and read it carefully. "Interesting. Can I have one of those brochures as well? You wouldn't happen to know in which direction is... next?" I wag my fingers back at him as I remove the requisition from the envelop and leave the rest on his desk. "Hey Cart, I think this is for you" I shout as I wave the equipment requisition form.

Cart's Guy: Lemon? that guy over there
He points to Brett's guy and is only too happy to put his headphones back in and return to his work

Brett sees the interaction between Will and his guy and Cart and his guy

Will's guy hands you a brochure and points you in the right direction

That settled, Cart wandered to the table where Brett was at, but didn't interrupt what was going on.

"Thank you very much for this great pamphlet, loyal citizen" I shout probably higher than I should "Remember to keep it clean!" I say as I follow the direction the nice junior exec indicated, gesturing for Brett and cart to follow

Brett saw that Will looked like he found something, and so with one final look at the man's face and desk to remember it, he went after him, checking that Cart also comes along.

Brett follows Will who leads him directly back to the desk he just left. Lemon is still on the important phone call, he is now writing things and erasing things from a calendar while talking to Mr Bigley.

Lemon sees the three of you standing in front of him. He feels obligated to give you his attention.

Uh... look MR Bigley, I'm going to need a moment to find that information for you. Can I just give you a call back in 2 minutes.

MR Bigley yells something back at him.

Oh Sure Sure Mr Bigley, I did mean 1 minute. I will call you back in one minute

Lemon, exasperated, looks up to the three of you,

Well? What is it?

Well?!

I haven't got all day you know! Why are you here? What do you want?

"Well- ah-" Brett stuttered for a moment. "Hello Mr Lemon! We are here for our equipment!" Brett takes out his coupon. "Also, there is something about an requisitions application my companions are looking to handle with..."

Cart also stood there, nodding vigorously. Lemon sounded and looked annoyed, so Cart didn't want to open his mouth and add to his annoyance. He was already salivating at the thought of new equipment...

"Yes what he said plus these..." I give the junior exec the equipment requisition form addressed to Cart on top of the coupon. "It's for a highly classified secret mission for loyal citizens to ensure more loyalty. Maybe also a lemonade if you could get me one?"

Lemon grabs the top form without even looking at it and stamps it (it's the requisition form for Cart)
Lemonade? I don't get it.
He looks down at the forms and pauses, stopping himself from bringing the stamp down a second time,
hey wait a minute....

He double-checks the form to confirm his suspicions

You guys haven't even completed the i-95s. look if you're trying to get this requisition form pushed through without completing an I95 you're going to have to talk to somebody in a lot higher clearance than me. I suggest you talk to one of the floor managers.

There are indeed two floor managers at opposite ends of the office, walking the floor in orange suits holding cups of coffee in one hand and a clipboard in the other

"You know, when the Computer gives you ... Nevermind" I make tactical hand gestures to Cart and Brett suggesting we split, go around the tables, roll on the floor and surprise the floor managers and start putting the plan in motion as I move closer to one of them, not quite like a ninja, but more like a furious rhino 🦏

Where can we get an I95 form?" Cart asked just in case the floor managers they were looking for demanded one anyway.

Brett eagerly follow after Will. He will attempt his ninja roll in between the cubicles while holding on to the Multicorder.

In preparation to ninja roll, Will dives into Lemon's cubicle partition, knocking it over spilling a corkboard covered with scraps of paper, scattering notes, pens and office supplies all over the floor. Lemon looks furious.
He gets down on his hands and knees and is frantically putting supplies into containers
Look! I Don't handle I95s! Go Away!

Brett on the other hand, disappears with a fwish as he skillfully tumbles out of sight making barely a sound, all the while maintaining perfect grip on his multicorder. He pops up in front of a very surprised looking floor manager who nearly drops his coffee,
Can I help you?

"I, the Great and Mystifying Ninja, wishes to ask of you about these I95s!..."

Cart also intercepted the floor manager quickly, "Special requisitions for a top secret assignment."

I stand up, look around confused and then to Lemon "I seem to have hit a spacetime singularity and got back to the same place... Young man, what day it is?" I take my com to report the strange event as I walk down to join Brett, the magic ninja.

The Middle Manager, obviously surprised to be asked to do actual work refers you to the floor manager,

I'm not sure what these I95s are, but it sounds like you're going to need to talk to Mr Bigsley in the back office

You follow his pointing gesture and see the back office with the words MR BIGSLEY painted on the glass door.

"We must point out to the floor manager that his floor is very slippery." Cart signaled to the other two where they ought to be headed, and went to the back office door and knocked.

Finding my way around, I follow Cart to the glass door. Looking at the name on it I wonder where I've heard that name before, and why it reminds me of lemonade. I take quickly check my head, trying to understand why it hurts.

"Thank you for the directions, Orange citizen!" Brett gives a bow before also heading towards the office.

*cough* *cough* "Good day Mr" *cough* *cough* *crying eyes* "Bigley. Loyal troubleshooters reporting to " *cough* *cough* "service and maybe two or three " *cough* *cough* "i95 forms" *cough* *cough* "Is that Lemon on the phone?"

Cart watched the push button communicator device with fascination, and wondered if he could get himself one of those.

As Will have already greeted, Brett will simply stand by, recording Mr Bigley's... big face?

He coughs out cigar smoke
You have got to be kidding me! Who said you could come in here? Lemon?!?
He pushes the button
Lemon! Did you send these clowns in here?!

On the other end you hear Lemon respond,
uh no sir Mr Bigley, uh uh, the opposite in fact, I told them under no circumstances were they to bother a man of you're uh uh uh clearance sir.

"We have orders to see you, to clear our equipment acquisitions. Special mission from the Computer. Loyal citizens we all are to make this happen!" Cart appealed to Bigley's sense of loyalty.

"I mean, definitely not lemons. We're looking for i95 forms. We're in a highly secretive mission for the great friend computer to find infiltrated communist threats and we need... What was it we needed again Brett?"

"If I remember correctly, Friend Computer has rewarded us with new equipment to use! Ones that are of Yellow Clearance! Those conniving commies... hiding in the Yellow zones..." Brett takes a glance around to see if any traitorous commies are watching them.

Mr Bigley is here to clear us so that we don't need the I95 forms. He can allot us our equipment straightaway!" Cart beamed at Bigley.

"For the Computer!" Cart yelled enthusiastically, to no one in particular.

I applaud Cart’s great oratory skills, impressed

Brett is moved by Cart's passion, and gave a few reserved claps.

Slowly Mr Bigley rises to his feet. The sound of Lemon calling out, "Mr bigley ... Uh.... Mr bigley...?" Fades out as Mr Bigley gazes off into the distance. His eyes welling up. His large hands clapping along turning a once slow clap into an enthusiastic ovation.

As the clapping subsides Mr Bigley wipes a tear from his eye (must be too much smoke in the room)

His entire demeanor is transformed.

That was some real good clapping citizens. I do love a good round of applause. Now let me see those papers

He scrutinizes your forms acknowledging the stamp and mumbling legalese under his breath. After a good 7 Puffs on his cigar he looks up at you,

well I've got some good news and I've got some better news...

The good news is you do not require an i-95 form.
He points to the stamp on the top form, you already turned in your i-95 when the top form was approved. And this stamp is 100% transferable to all forms turned in to the proper office.

The better news is that this is not the proper office. What you need to do is get back on the elevator go to the 6th floor go to office 9596 PLC and turn in all your forms to the sector Office of the production and utilization committee

"Splendid news and marvellous stamp!" I bow to Mr Bigley and shout over the phone "A lemonade for Mr Bigley ASAP!".

Brett records down everything incase if he forgets the instructions of going to the next stop of this wild goose chase. He, too, records Mr Bigley's reaction to Will's noble attempt at requesting a drink for the man in Yellow.

Cart could almost taste the new equipment they would be issued soon, the familiar taste of radioactive gun oil and plasma discharge. "Sixth floor let’s go!"

"Eee-kwip-muhnt. Please give eee-kwip-muhnt." The run-around only increased Cart's hunger as he looked at Mable pleadingly and longingly, with big googly eyes.

I wonder if we're in the right place as this sort of happy service has so far been uncommon... "What a happy loyal citizen! Hello to you to!" I show her the stamps but in a strangely flirtatious manner.

"As my buddy here is saying, we loyally, and urgently need our equipment for our troubleshooting mission!" Brett gave a forced smile.

Brett's eyes became unfocused as he hears the "captivating" story of the lady. When Mable asks them again, Brett grins wider. "Oh its nothing really, other than that the forms we gave you are for us to collect our equipment!" He says in a cheery manner.

"Hello you sweet lady. That Jelly-O-LRY must have been some guy, right?" *wink wink* "Sign me up for one of those, for me it has to be ALL OF IT!"

"Wow, you must be even better now at providing the right equipment to us troubleshooters, all of it!" Cart echoed Will in redirecting the conversation back to the issue of equipment.

"As a great magician, I might be able to make you better at your job! But it would be indirect, and may not be so pleasant, for me or for you!" Brett smiles as he places a hand on her desk.

"You were about to tell us how wonderful you were at requisitioning equipment." Cart laid it on a little thicker.

"Oh yes, tell me about Larry-O-DVD and his fathers as you checks these nice outdated forms. Was Larry-O-DVD that one that did that thing with Jerry-R-LRY? I mean, I remember they used to do a ALL OF the paperwork no? Maybe it was Marry-O-BRN. But were they all filling forms at the Hungry Jack Dinner vats?"

"Honey, I think your nightstand and glasses are invisible!" Brett says in the same manner as the woman. He then walks over to pretend to pat it. "This must be the work of an enemy stand a traitor mutant!"

"Why they must have been on your head just a moment ago! Hmm, why don't you let us help you with those forms. Then you'll have a new wonderful story to tell future generations. Here, we'll sit with you, and sort these forms out straightaway." Cart was being as helpful as he could be, and started looking at the papers on her desk.

"Nightstanding reading glasses 🤔. They read and stand in the dark..." I search he entire room, under all forms and in every dark corner for those reading glasses

Cart noticed something on their forms and showed the relevant instructions to Brett and Will. "Er, guys..."

Please submit all equipment requisition forms to the Troubleshooter Counseling Loyalty and Equipment bureau in room number 57689, 9th floor.

"Please don't tell that we need to run to another place just for our equipment! Argh!" Brett, in his frustration, swings his fist at the invisible lamp that is sitting on the invisible nightstand, causing it to crash onto the floor without a sound.

"Thank you very much for your help!" I say as I get back to the desk. Seeing cart’s form I add "I’ve heard that if we digest some soap, the opera may be faster don’t you agree miss Mable?"

"It's this form isn't it? Could you sign that and we shall be out of your hair!" Cart wondered if he could help Mable expedite the process, even though he was now thinking she wasn't the right person to help them. He tapped on one of the forms on her table.

I stare at her, utterly confused by what appears to be an easy confession After a while, I manage to point at the forms

"Why don't you just sign off on all the forms, and we'll all forget what has happened so that we can sit down and enjoy a nice hot cup of tea together." Cart began to gently nudge at a whole bunch of random forms on her desk to indicate where she should sign.

Brett starts to get the hint that they are doing a bit of negotiating, and he turns his multicorder to record the nice wall and whistles a tune.

"Noooo!!!" Brett shouts when he realise what Mable is doing.

"Now Mable maybe you want to start by telling me about your father..." Cart defaulted to his psychiatric background.

"No need to worry dear Miss Mable, Vispecci was melted for treason and there are no ranchs in these forms. You can trust us with these signature so we can never sign again with your lovely paperless system you were talking about"

"A promise is a promise. I'll help with those, don't you worry Mable!" Cart gently slipped some of the forms off the table in a gesture of obsequiousness and held them as if he was off on an important mission on her behalf; he saluted her and left the table.

Brett gave a huge sigh as he is relieved that Cart successfully diverted the crisis. He follows after the Saviour of the Forms.

Paralysed by Ms Mable's vicious attack, I can only reply in acceptance "Will do miss!" as I try to leave the room, keeping my eyes on her for any sudden movements

I stop at the door, still terrified by the previous encounter and wave at Cart "This is a task for the form bearer". I nod respectfully and wait.

Cart needed no urging. He was that close to getting his equipment. He entered the office, but kept a foot at the door so that the other two could still see and hear what was going on.

"We have the forms! We have all the forms! Please take our forms, and give us the equipment! Hail Computer, the most glorious equipment of all!"

"Hello helpful jackbot, let me help you help us." Cart inspected the sign and its smiling face, to see how he could enable the jackbot to circumvent the door activation requirement.

"Is Cart a magician as well?" I ask Brett after Cart makes the robot work without closing the door

"It appears that he must be! A magician of bots!" Brett says as he temporarily turns off his Multicorder.

"No magic. Merely a humble equipment technician." He bowed to make sure it was recorded by the multicorder before it was turned off. Then, back to the jackbot, "No disloyalty here!"

"Clean all commies!"

"We are here to receive equipment issued to us for our next mission. We have all the necessary paperwork."

Cart fed all their forms into the slot, while seeing if he could use his understanding of how its processing mechanisms work to configure its results to their benefit.

I observe Cart's stunning and graceful understanding of financial systems and the surreal genius of the ways he manages to place the forms into the robot slot so elegantly

Brett also stands by, watching the magical stunt that Cart performed with the insertion of the 2 dimentional objects and the superior intellect of his in regards to understanding finance.