Friends Chat

Nate and Tina, may I introduce to you my girlfriend Kilikina. Yes, she actually uses that name as a call name. I do not know her real name, but I've told her all of yours. Kitty, these are my very close friends here in Conway.

You have all been very close friends to me during this strange struggle of mine and I wanted y'all to meet and get to know each other on a format outside of the game and away from the boys. I have no topics in mind. You have expressed a desire to chat to each other, so I am open to talking about anything. I'll keep my ears closed I promise... not, lol. I have opened my heart to all y'all, so please feel free to poke me or tell me to go away.

Hello Kili!

I'm not sure what to say to introduce myself. Me and Tina (Teth) are married, live in Arkansas, and know Rod via a co-op homeschool that our kids attended together, at least prior to the pandemic.

I'm a certified nerd / software developer. Tina is a lawyer, but the good kind, not the evil kind. She hasn't practiced that much for the past few years, due to complications arising from us taking is her cousin's son. There's a big story behind that, that I'm sure we'll get to eventually, but not the best starter to a conversation.

We have a couple of kids, a boy and a girl. My son has the gift/curse of inheriting my Asperger's genes. My daughter has inherited Tina's gift/curse of a deeply empathic personality. They are 13 (almost 14) and 11, respectively.

And I have had a blast exploring a different avenue of creativity in the game. I'm a big reader, so I've got a lot of stuff to plagiarize pull from. But not the overarching storyline to inspire usage.

Oh, and I'm sorta obsessed with building little (and sometimes big) metal models.

Dude. You need more storyline then. I was thinking you were the Howard Roark of Fountain Head.

Well yes, Kitty has pointed out to me that I overstated myself. She has told me her first name, the knowledge of which I will treasure, but it is not relevant here.

I got distracted while typing that part. What I meant to say is that I don't have the creative element to craft an overarching storyline. I've got the mental resources (from all the reading) to flesh out a character or possibly a scene. But not to create a story from scratch.

Hai Nate!

I feel bad, I hate that I know your names but you don't truly know mine. So I do answer to Kili and it is the name I prefer, but my name is Christina (ironically what Kilikina means in Hawaiian - I'm not Hawaiian though lol). I'm from North Carolina and I know Rod because I asked to join the campaign, and almost backed out of it actually. I think it's amazing that you guys homeschool your youngins, I grew up homeschooled myself.

I'm currently unemployed, but I'm working on my M.S. in Special Education with emphasis on Deaf Education. I'm working on getting my license to practice as an ASL interpreter currently while I'm finishing what should be my last year of school. Please feel no pressure to share anything you don't want to or aren't ready to.

They sound wonderful honestly! I don't have any children of my own blood, but I do have an 18 year old who has viewed me as her mother figure for the past 2-3 years and I do consider her my child honestly. She too has the gift/curse of Asperger's and I don't truly see it as a curse. Everyone else just doesn't understand it well enough.

I too am a big reader so I completely understand getting the plagiarization inspiration from that kind of writing. I haven't done much metal work myself, I did some during camp as a teen. I have done lots of LEGO building growing up, but my main creative passions are ballroom dancing and photography.

Oh I'm the same! Creating a whole story isn't my forte, but a scene or two, bring it on!

Lol. Well, the "curse" of being Aspy, as I see / call it, is more about the difficulty of living in a world where you don't "fit in." Not that there's anything wrong with being an Aspy, it just makes life a little more difficult / frustrating. Both living as one, and living with one. Not bagging on Aspies, just recognizing reality. :)

As far as sharing... I probably will end up oversharing, lol. But, mostly I just wasn't sure what all to say at first, and the story about her cousin's son is a long one. So... figured we can share that one over time, rather than all at once. hahaha.

Rod sent us the Ballroom dancing photos. That's really cool. (not sarcasm or half-hearted. I actually think it's cool). I, personally avoid dancing... because I just do NOT have the moves. Or any moves. It's closer to muscle spasms. Hahaha. And photography is awesome, too. My sister does a lot of photography.

And, just to clarify, I don't "create" models from metal out of the blue. I build these laser-cut metal models, which I will try not to get oversharing on, because I can go on and on about. (So much so that I ended up actually starting a blog to share tips and tricks and pitfalls of builds. Yeah, like I said, nerdy. :)

No, please do overshare about the models! I'm not sure how that works so feel free to educate me on what that is!

That is so great! I had several people tell me that I should be a teacher when I was in college, but I am pretty high anxiety and worried that I wouldn't be able to work with kids all day long. Of course, now my kids are stuck with me all day long. Lol Sped teachers are some of my favorite people!! And being a parent is definitely not limited to blood! One of the most frustrating things that we went through with our little guy was people not treating him like he was really our son. We even had extended family and friends who referred to our bio kids as "your own kids," as if Alyster wasn't our child too. Even kids who have good bio parents can use extra support. The world is a rough place!

Well, they are sheets of steel that are about a quarter of a millimeter thick. They use a laser cutter to cut and etch them (including perforations for folds). You clip them out from the sheets, fold and shape the parts, and attach them together with slot-and-tab construction. They have tons of different style and designs. I mostly build a few brands, Metal Earth the most.

Here are a few examples of the results:









(I include the Lego Chewbacca in the photos to give a sense of scale)

I completely agree, but it's hard to get a lot of people to see that blood doesn't mean you're not family to someone. I actually had a moment earlier this summer where I was laughing hard because of how much I realized I really am mom to her. She messaged me asking about a pain in her jaw every time she moved it "this one certain way" and was wondering if she should go to the emergency room. It felt like the most child to parent question ever as I've had those same kinds of questions for my own mom when I was her age. I say that and sound so much older than I am. I'm only 28 years old, but truly, I don't feel it.

I'm sorry you two had that issue as well. I really do hope for a world where we can all be understanding and loving to each other. I love working with kids, I did it all the time in high school, was even an assistant teacher in one of my sports. There's just something so enjoyable and fulfilling about it.

Oh wow, those are so cool! I really love the My Little Pony ones. Never seen the show, but I love how cute they are!!

Leave it to Tina to get to the heart of the matter. We do understand the struggle of people not recognizing atypical family structures. What makes a family is love and choice, not blood. So much of the world today, though, doesn't seem to have the capacity or inclination to try to see things outside their own limited world view. It makes it hard for people who live outside the "norm." But I've found that many of the best people I know have lived outside the "norm" at least some, if not continuously.

I'll be bold and direct, you can feel free to just be yourself with us, and not feel like you need to project a certain type of person. Not saying that what you've said so far is inconsistent with that. But I just want to be open about that. I'm not the type to judge or anything like that, and I get the feeling, via the way you've played the game, that you are what Rod said you are: "good peeps." He also used that word to describe me and Tina, and I think it applies to him, too. I pointed out, at least from my own experience, that people don't have to be unblemished, unbroken, or perfect to be good peeps. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to accept that descriptor.

But anyways, that's me trying to break the ice and just say, feel free to tell us what you really think about stuff. lol. For an example, not assuming this was the case, but if you have no interest in the models, I won't be hurt to learn that. I know it's a niche hobby, and I know that I am obsessive about it. lol. I try to keep that in mind. But anyways, like I said, I didn't assume that your words were false in regards to that at all, just that... feel free to be yourself.

And I'll just be myself. And, also, feel free to tell me if I said something that sounded rude or felt mean. Cause I am crap at communicating and sometimes say stuff the worst way possible without realizing it. Haha. Then again, you have a little experience with someone like me. I do enjoy the perks of my genetics, but I am self-conscious about my communication failings and would prefer to know if I've offended, so I can clear it up.

Also, have I mentioned that I am long-winded and tend to over-compensate for my communication difficulties by just writing way more than anyone normally would, in the hopes that I can be more clear in what I say? haha.

And, because this isn't long enough already, I forgot to say, we're glad you joined the "game" as well. You add a lot of fun flair to the game. And make it a lot less testosterone driven. lol.

Man, dudes, if this family fest gets any better we are all going to end up related into an extended family unit soon and then DukeLovesKit is going to get just awkward.

Nate, I do love how you referred to all this as a (quotation marks) game (end quotation marks) and that you are glad Kilikina joined. I concur. I have the same sentiments about all of y’all and the boys. You are the closest friends I have ever tried hard to foster a friendship with because I love you all. Back in college, making friends was easy. With kids, you are at the minimum social with other parents, but good peeps are hard to find like y’all. *eyes tearing up*. My own marriage has been one of isolating oneself. Hell, I came to Arkansas for it. How isolated did I want to be, I ask myself now. And then to find Nate and Tina and now you Kitty, I count myself lucky. Three years ago, I lost my lovely wife to mental illness and have only realized that in the last very month. My world was centered on her and must shift to the kids. Tina, you were there for me three years ago for her break and now I have adopted Nate too as a brother in the same way that Duke has adopted Storm, slowly and with a great deal of sibling rivalry and reluctant fist bumping, lol. Y’all accepted me roll playing a doting husband to Kit from day one of the game, but I couldn’t have expressed to you then how much I had really lost my heart to Kitty for her companionship. In an attempt to challenge her conflicted back story, I exposed my vulnerable inner self to her supposed manipulations, but she flipped her character to include me in her world instead. Kitty and I struggled as to how to role play Duke and Kit in the group setting, while we continued our backstory. I flattened Duke out to make him more of an NPC. I don’t know if anyone noticed besides us and certainly my long time friend aka Jacob, that Duke wasn’t himself. I then decided to play him as a full character, me, and yet not the DM’s stooge. It’s so hard to be honest in a game, but the party became family, and Duke and Kit grew even closer. As silly as saying this about a game is, your characters are my family, especially my wife, my barbarian and my wise Amazonian.

And the family gets bigger lol. Duke and Kit would like to make a private announcement to you. We are pregnant! The die rolls are clear. It took a while for even our characters to roll good enough medicine checks to know. Shush, keep it on the down low. The boys would be upset now to hear we are making this any more reality tv than it already is, lmao.

But there is a softer side too. Even up to last night, Christina and I try to define our relationship. As friends we all are supportive for each other in our daily and lifetime challenges. As hopeless romantics, Christina and I have an online love affair with each other. As a man going through the worst moment of his life and a woman just now finding herself in her education and career and self, we don’t know where we will be. We have decided to include our friends in on the love fest. I’ve chatted with her daughter in the Netherlands, Kitty with Aslan over FaceTime and now y’all here. If nothing comes of it all, Kitty will at least have fallen in love with Aslan and steal his cute self away lol. I love Kitty and want her to have y’all as good friends, too.

Nate, you said to just be yourself here. I suppose I can be no one else.

Oh there's a lot to catch up on! It would be nice to be myself, I'm honestly a shy person upon first meeting people, but I've been trying hard to push past that fast and start saying more in the OOC. And while I don't ever see myself actively seeking to become an expert in metal models, but I would never tell someone not to "nerd" out about their passion and hobbies. Not only does it reveal a side about a person you wouldn't see otherwise, but sometimes, it's genuinely fascinating even if I don't always understand it lol.

And no worries about oversharing or talking too much. I actively tell people who are new friends that sometimes, I forget that my mouth hole can close and stay closed so feel free to tell me to stop talking lol. I have my struggles with not always saying things in the most clear way myself and I have a tendency to overshare as well, so I understand and I'll let you know if you offend or upset me.

Yes, there was a bit of a toss up in the development of my own backstory. Funny enough, my character was originally meant to be a prankster kind of character that was charismatic, but used it to get what she wanted, not for the diplomacy she usually goes for now. A bit of oversharing myself, my last relationship was a mentally and emotionally abusive one. It ended last summer, but every few weeks, he'd reach out to me for about a week before blocking me again to keep me on his hook to play with essentially whenever he wanted. I did recently cut myself off from him finally for good recently, but I really struggled with the concept of love and romance as my ex had used that to hook me onto him and used it as a way to keep me around. But Rod showing his hopeless romantic vulnerability, which I at first didn't realize was him, I just found that part of me unlocked again and we both enjoyed our characters' dynamic so much, neither of us could bare to separate them. So I changed up my character and I'm really glad that I did! I love the dynamic for her, for Duke and Kit, and for her with the group so much more! And I'm really glad to be a part of the group, you guys are wonderful people!

It has certainly been a struggle to figure out the group dynamic, especially without causing any awkwardness or frustrations for others. Neither of us want it to be or to seem like it's the Duke and Kit Show or something like that, because it's not. But yes, from the role of Duke and Kit, we are pregnant, that was a funny situation! So many jokes had been made about it and Rod said let's roll the dice, to which I thought it'd be highly unlikely to happen so amused I agreed under the terms that a d20 had to be above 15 for it to happen. This man through some kind of high luck roll ended up rolling an 18! Twice! So after much laughing, our character are now expecting lol. But yes, definitely don't want to tell the guys just yet. I really don't want to upset anyone or make anyone feel like they aren't enjoying themselves just because I enjoy the game differently than they do.

As far as Rod and myself, I hope that's okay and doesn't cause you to see either of us, especially him any differently due to the high coincidence of events. Between trying to find myself, figure out my own life, finish my degree, find a career, and become what feels like a "proper adult," I have a lot just on my personal plate without adding in helping my mom who is (she wouldn't use this word yet and I'm not sure what to replace it with but,) disabled. I've been enjoying the ability to just enjoy each other while getting to know each other. But yes, Aslan could win me over in a heartbeat; those freckles and dimples are beyond precious lol! I will say though, please don't feel pressured to like me just because he wants us to be good friends (sorry dear). I'm fully aware that not every person we meet is going to be our "cup of tea" so if you don't like me, I promise there will be no hard feelings!

Now I'm seeing how I make it hard to reply to me sometimes. You both write as long of messages as I do. It's hard to keep track of what all you want to respond to! haha. And my first instinct is to respond to the last thing I read, but then everything is backwards, and I mix everything up and miss something.

So... I completely understand the shyness factor. I'm what would classically be called anti-social (but not the psychological definition of that term, cause I'm not creepy). It's a result of my Aspy brain. I don't handle small talk well, and am not an "average" joe to begin with. I live in Arkansas as a result of meeting and marrying the most amazing woman I know (no offense to you, Kili... is that an okay abbreviation, by the way?). But I do not fit in here, at all. At least as a guy. I have no interests in sports or hunting. Instead, I'm more interested in the nerdy things, like science stuff and video games and metal models. I love learning new things. It doesn't make for great small talk with very many other men anywhere, much less in Arkansas, where hunting and football reign supreme (sorry Tina, I'm not trying to rag on Arkansas... just the prevalence of over-stated testosterone among the male population of Arkansas).

Rod, I'm not calling this chat section a "game." I'm saying that I'm glad she joined the Magical Maztica campaign, cause I've enjoyed how she added a lot of nuance and atypical storyline content (at least, it seems atypical to me, without any background in actually playing D&D, but seeing it from the outside as being heavily weighted in the testosterone side of things). I definitely do not mind the additional layer of story of your character's relationship, it gives a fun aspect to play into interactions (such as Dukalu riding to the rescue and ignoring everything else). So, even aside from your two's budding relationship, I was glad that Kili joined the campaign. It's been a LOT of fun.

Speaking of, and being totally out of chronical order, I do not see either of you as less or different due to your relationship. My wife mentioned Alyster, who is her cousin's son that we took in. Okay, strange direction to take this, I know, but it'll make sense.

The best way to describe him is extremely damaged. We were able to rescue him from his situation days before he turned 3 years old, but as it turns out, it was already too late. We didn't know at the time, but he suffered from an extreme case of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), as his bio-mom drank heavily during his pregnancy - because she was on probation for drug charges and couldn't do drugs at the time. FAS is basically brain damage, because the brain doesn't develop correctly, and the effective result is a loss (or lack) of impulse control. In the 3 years after he was born, he was passed around between bio-mom, bio-dad, and bio-grandma at random and unexpectedly. He was threatened with knives if he didn't behave. He was in the room while bio-dad and girlfriend had sex. His bio-dad sold his food stamps to buy drugs, and then let the kid starve until he stumbled out of the place and walked across the yard in the middle of winter in only a diaper to a relatives house to ask for food. Sadly, I could go on, but the point is that this added another layer to his challenges, one called Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Basically, post-birth, while his brain was continuing to develop, it was so often in a fight-or-flight mode that it because almost permanent. Instead of developing communication skills, he developed manipulation skills. When first took him in, he knew, at most, 5-10 words, two of which were shit and dick.

Again, we didn't know about all of this, but we knew that he was not being taken care of properly. We managed to take advantage of an opportunity that presented itself (her cousin, bio-dad, called us, scared that DHS was contacting him and blah blah blah. Of course, we were the ones who called DHS on him, for the third time) and we were able to get his parents to sign him over to us as guardians. He was violent, mad, and scared out of his mind (all related). Tina researched the crap out of RAD, once she figured out that's what he was facing, and we tried all the approaches to help him. Then someone, a doctor maybe, suggested that he had the physical characteristics of someone with FAS. We had him tested, and it turned out to be true. So Tina researched the crap out of that, too. We loved on him, put our lives on hold, and did everything we could to help him. He made vast improvements, but was still delayed, developmentally. He was, to all appearances, incredibly sweet. He called us mom and dad, of his own choice, and from then on, he was our son. It was tough, and hard, and painful. Because he was horrible to us when he was triggered. Verbally and physically. Same to our other two kids (but they were amazing about loving him anyways. I'm so proud of them). But we pushed through it, using all the psychology research and therapy research Tina had done, and love, and actual therapy sessions with a counselor (went through 4 different ones, several of which said that he would be a good candidate for a paper / case study).

After 4+ years of hard work, though, he started regressing. By choice. He was using the violence to try to get what he wanted, or to "punish" us for when he didn't get his way. He would say mean things or attack our other kids, because he knew it would hurt or upset us. We reached a breaking point after having the police called on Tina while she was holding him so he couldn't hurt her outside the local library. We finally realized that we couldn't do it alone. Because we did a private guardianship, we had no support from DHS or foster-care systems. But we explained that he was physically attacking us and threatening to kill us or our kids. We had a security alarm on his bedroom door while he slept at night. We had him admitted for an acute 7-day stay at a behavioral hospital, at the age of 7. After he was released, we had him for a week, and then had to have him re-admitted. This repeated for a month, and then he was admitted to long-term.

While he was in there, we realized a few things. One, he was more dangerous and had a much worse affect on our lives than we realized (we were slow-cooked into it). Two, he didn't actually love us. He only pretended to love us to get things. There are stories from when he was in and coming home for "passes" that could explain that conclusion, but it was true. And Three, he wasn't improving, even with their "help." He didn't act out while he was there because he was in a controlled environment, so they rarely had to say "no" to him. But, after being there for 6+ months, they up and decided to discharge him because some BS reason. And we realized we couldn't go back to living like we had before. So we turned him over to the state, to DHS, so they could find him a facility where he could live. All during those 6+ months, Tina had been trying to find a place, and nobody was available or had an opening or anything like that.

We loved that little guy. He was our son. But he traumatized the crap out of us. We know what it's like to live with someone who makes your life a living hell, even as you love them. We understand, in an indirect not-equal-but-tangentially-related way, what Rod has been going through. As he said, he lost his wife to a mental illness long ago. He was finally reaching out for help, and he found you, and me and Tina. I think he was a little more hesitant to bring it all to me and Tina, but you helped him through a lot of it, Kili. And that's going to form an emotional bond, and Lord knows he was not being emotionally supported as things were. So, no, I offer no judgement at all. It's not like this was something either of you was actively seeking, anyways. So don't worry about that at all.

Wow, that was really long. I have more stuff to respond to, from everything you've both said, but I think I've typed enough for now. Wrote y'all a novella of a post already.

Feel free to write a novella, I love it! But I'm so sorry to hear about that! I can't imagine how hard that's been on you two and your family as a whole! I wish I knew what to say to help, but all I can do is offer an ear, shoulder, and lots of virtual hugs!

And Kili is perfectly fine, my friends call me that so feel free to!

Sorry, that kinda all came out at once. It was kinda to help me express how I understood Rod's situation a little. We are doing better now, it's been a while. And you don't have to say or do anything to help, but I appreciate the sentiment. But it wasn't really about telling you our awful history. We all have our own challenges and baggage and hurts. And I completely forgot to relate it to your experience with an abusive / manipulative relationship, which was also part of the intent of telling that story. To show empathy and understanding. I mean, honestly, none of us can truly understand what another has been through. But when people who you love take advantage of you and hurt you... it's a deep cut, whether that's a significant other, a parent, or a child. I told Rod this when we were chatting the other day... I've given up on trying to find the right words to comfort someone or tell them it's okay or it'll get better. Because most things you could say end up being hollow platitudes. So I've changed my approach. Instead, I acknowledge the suck. What happened to you, with that guy, sucks. He's a horrible human being and you didn't deserve that (nobody does). None of it was your fault, and you are not in any way responsible for what he did to you. And you have every right to be hurt, angry, mad, etc. Because it sucked. And it probably still sucks. Cause stuff like that doesn't just go away. It sticks with you for a while, until you get good at knocking it back down every time it pops it's head up. Because I guess it never really goes away, we just learn to live with / around it. To acknowledge it and how it has become part of us and helped us grow, maybe in directions we weren't planning, but grow we usually do. And there I go getting all preachy or philosophical or whatever, sorry. I just. I don't know. I overexplain my views on things sometimes. haha.

Another thing i wanted to respond to, from your initial post, and completely forgot to, was how awesome I already think you are, just from hearing that you are getting into special education stuff. I mean, I liked you from how you've interacted with everyone in the table forum, to begin with. But that was a shoe-in. If you are the type of person who cares about kids enough to want to teach special education and help those that were dealt a difficult hand... then you are already a kindred spirit to me and Tina. Before we ended up taking in Alyster, we had applied to be foster parents. Because we both have a heart for kids. We got turned down on our application, because the person that came for the home-inspection just didn't like us, and that hurt. But it seemed to work out, because we were able to take Alyster in. And while we did suffer trauma at his hands, I can't say that I would have done it differently. Because he's so much better off now than he would have been if we hadn't intervened. And I know that, at least for a few years, he knew true, unconditional love from parents who wouldn't hurt him. Sadly, I think he's actually incapable of truly understanding or giving love, but all kids deserve to be loved.

I also meant to ask you, what kind of photography you do. Like... nature, landscape, portraiture, candid real life, etc? Just curious. And also, how did you get into ballroom dancing? No, I'm not just asking cause you showed interest in my models, lol. And I've probably now made you think that I'm denying it, just because I said something. It's a catch 22 of being neuroatypical - I'm paranoid about how things I say come across, then think of the worst way, and make sure it's clear that I didn't mean it that way, which then makes it seem suspicious that I said that at all, etc, etc. Hahahaha.

Oh, and I just remembered the whole in-character preggo thing! Lol. I totally understand your reluctance to address that in the general forum. I have a hard time reading Jacob and Kon, but they definitely seem to have ideas of how RPGs "should" be played. That, and I feel like I'm constantly tweaking one or the other off about something. Like the recent headbutting with Jacob over the "left me behind" narrative. I couldn't tell why he brought back up the idea that I had been asleep in my saddle, and felt like he was calling me out with the reference to Storm not being consistent with "the narrative." I may have been being sensitive, but it seemed like he was trying to tell me that I was delusional, and the narrative was clearly what he saw, and I was insane for sticking with the narrative that I crafted. So, I went back and checked (because I also second-guess myself a lot). And posted the explanation about why I chose to craft the narrative I did. And he then acts like I'm the one making a big deal out of it. So... yeah. I understand. I decided to just move on, cause I don't know what, if anything, to make of that interaction, and I just want to have fun playing the character in the grand campaign. Wow, that rabbit-trailed! Anyways, virtual congratulations to Duke and Seafox!

I understand your frustration with Jacob. His deeply sarcastic humor does not translate well over text and then he flip flops on his seriousness about what he said. I have had to address various comments of his and explain to him how what he says affect people. Unfortunately he is not Aspie, and doesn’t self criticize And over correct himself enough. I do hope we can let his comments roll off our backs because the boy needs some family and support like we all do. But damn it sometimes, I just want to slap him silly with what he says to touch others nerves. Maybe it is my own insecurities about doing the same thing. *looks over at Stormslayer*. Kitty is very good about catching me in the act and nudging me to correct course and be a better man. It’s one of her very appreciated talents. *love you!*

It's easy to remind you to choose the higher course of action when in my mind, I'm choosing the path of fussing him out for upsetting you or Nate dear lol.

Nate, I don't disagree that he is a horrible human being. I was also a sucker and I'm still trying to deal with seeing that differently than I do. Much like Rod does, I used to fall head first into my feelings for someone else. I fell hard and fast for Drake and despite my mom telling me she wasn't sure about him, I didn't listen. We talked and FaceTimed constantly and he talked of dreams of me and him and my pup together and I was so in love. We played games together, I would send food to him on days when he'd had a long day at work, I met his friends, he met some of mine. His close friend and I had similar senses of humor so we clicked but my friends were weary of him. Nowhere in the commonly used phrase about love makes you see through rose tinted glasses do they add on that those same glasses have blinders. Our first real disagreement was when his true colors came out. He refused to FaceTime with me (we were long distance) and he chewed me out, pointing the finger at me as the problem in the disagreement in a very offensive way. After about a day or two, I told him how hurt I'd been by what he did and somehow I ended up consoling him instead of him comforting me. All of our disagreements were either about something small/insignificant or because I'd spoken a belief/thought that contradicted his own. Any time they happened, he'd shame me and blame me, insulting me, and then ignore my calls or texts for on average two weeks, sometimes one, only to explain that he didn't want to break things off, but he was still angry and then barely acknowledge me or would give me a cold shoulder with every statement. If I did anything that wasn't with a female friend or my parents, he would ignore me. Whenever I went dancing, which he knew was my literal happy place, he'd get jealous and pissed off. He actually made me feel anxious to go dancing because I started for a bit to feel like I was doing the wrong thing by going and enjoying myself knowing that it made him so uncomfortable. I couldn't see the manipulation he was working until it was too late. I'd stopped hanging out with or talking to all but one friend, a female. I was walking on eggshells about almost any and everything. We actually broke up because he was babysitting his best friend's dogs during 4th of July weekend and he left them in his backyard while he ran to the store. He was gone for all of 10mins but, being the dog lover I am and at the time owning my pup MacKenzie, I was appalled that he'd even do that (he lives in the desert and this was the dead of summer). It wasn't my dog so I just said that I'd hope you wouldn't do that to my pup, to which he confirmed he would. When I simply stated that it would upset me that he'd do that after I had expressed concern for him doing so with someone else's dogs, he got pissed off. Told me it was his house I'd be in and it'd be his rules and if he decided to leave my (very furry, predominately black furred) dog outside while he ran to the store, then he would. I asked him to calm down and that just fueled the fire. I never raised my voice, insulted, cussed, anything that could've been taken as anything other than calm, semi-quiet speech, but he worked himself up that he said he was done with me, asked me if I had any last words, and when I asked him to take a breath and let's talk about it, he hung up on me and blocked me completely. I was torn to pieces, he'd done this one other time, but when he didn't come back, it hurt like hell and I was shattered mentally and emotionally drained from him and the heartbreak. I'm way too sensitive for my own good when it comes to the heart. He'd always unblock me every three or so months to re-establish contact with me for a very short time (two weeks to a month) only to get pissed at me again for some tiny reason and then block me again, insulting me every time he blocked me and every time he unblocked me because he knew if he did, I'd get upset and respond because of the words he'd label me with. That was all last year. It wasn't until this year that I truly started to see what he'd done and I started listening truly to my mom and my friends who all said that they watched me become a shell of a person while I was with him. That relationship caused a lot of damage. I stopped dreaming, I hated love or anything that portrayed it (songs, movies, shows, etc.), any time anyone showed interest in me I just waited to find out what they wanted to use me for. It took a long time for me to get angry and actually evaluate our relationship and his treatment of me to see he just wanted a sexual slave to dominate and abuse 24/7 and when I didn't match that, he tried to create it.

That was a lot more than I meant to write, I apologize! I guess my own tendency to overshare and the fact that you'd shared your life trauma caused me to feel like I should share mine too. I'm also sorry sweetheart, I know I've explained that relationship to you before, but I don't think I've explained it in quite this much detail so please try not to be too sad for me. It's caused a lot of walls to be built around myself and my heart, but I am the best I can working to remove the unnecessary barriers and try not to be so guarded.

Okay, super sad story out of the way. Now to address all the other things from your post Nate lol. I figured after I'd written so much, I'd break up my post so it's not awful to read. I'm honestly happy that I decided to study SPED! Even if I just become a teacher aide in a SPED classroom, that's enough for me. When I was working on my bachelor's in psychology, I was asked by a friend to join the ASL class. Her and another convinced my department to host the class, it was the first ASL class at that university in like 10 or 15 years, and she wanted the class full so the department would continue to offer it. Having the electives and the interest, I agreed. Two-thirds way through that semester, I called home and told my mom I'd found what I wanted to do (I had no interest in psychology, but I didn't get into the college of math and science, which was what I'd intended to go to school for, meteorology). She told me if I'd finish my degree since I had one semester left, her and my dad would help me find a school to study ASL from and that's what happened. I did my internship at one of the deaf schools here and I fell in love with it! I still would like to get my interpreting license, but I really love working with kids and I think that my calling is in that direction.

As far as photography, I prefer animals and landscape. Candid when I'm taking photos of people, but my mother usually catches me and immediately stages hers lol. When I turned 18, my parents sat me down for my birthday and told me instead of buying me a gift, they were giving me $1,000 to spend any way I chose, which was out of the ordinary. I'd never received that much money before and any birthday money was always halved and put into saving and the other half to me (they worked hard to teach me to save money). It took me about two months to decide on buying my first professional DSLR camera. "Red" has been by my side since 2011 and it's still one of the best purchases I've ever made! I edit my own photos and I prefer to keep them as realistic as possible.

As far as ballroom goes, I grew up a dancer. My mother was a dancer her whole childhood and almost worked for a ballet company when she turned 18. When I came along, I took to dancing as well and I was practically enrolled from the moment I could stand. I did ballet, tap, and jazz up until around the age of 12, when I had to cut back on doing so many different activities and I (quite stupidly if I do say so myself) decided to stop dancing. When I went to college, I really struggled with finding a crowd to hang out with and feel like I had a reason to not be in my dorm room when I wasn't at class or eating. I went to try out for the ballet team and got rejected. On my walk back to the dorm, I saw a sign for salsa lessons in the ballroom and decided to check it out. I enjoyed every second and joined in the lessons. After that, I was ecstatic! I absorbed everything I could, I did every lesson I was allowed to, even talked my way into joining the lesson with the professionals that I truly was not at the level to learn yet, but I'm quick on my feet with learning so they didn't mind me too much. It's been my constant hobby, my true escape from everything, my happy place on earth, and I hope one day to start taking formal lessons again and maybe even compete again.

Also Nate, Mr. Nate? I'm not sure how formal I should be, southern manners are kicking in lol. Please don't feel the need to apologize or overthink or need to explain yourself. You are more than welcome to just be you. No judgements, no problems. Talk as much as you'd like, explain as deeply as you want, as long as you don't feel bad about it. I understand the paranoia to make sure your intentions are clear, but I promise you, if I don't understand something, I will state that and/or ask a lot of questions! I will probably ask a lot of questions anyways because that's quite typical for me to do lol. I know it'll take time for you to not feel like you have to do those things, I don't expect that to change instantly if it ever does, but I do want to make sure that you know you don't have to be concerned as far as talking with me goes. *heart emoji since I can't seem to make chat show them*

I wanted to interject that I am selfishly loving these long posts since I’ve heard these stories only in broken and incomplete chat and phone calls. This format allows me to essay the whole experience. As such, I feel I owe one of my own stories that may or may not relate. Kitty, you called me out as falling fast, and you are are correct, perhaps with the implication that I wear my own rose colored glasses, again not incorrect. This world we live in with its online relationships is still wondrous and strange to me. I had fallen in love before, learning and teaching university classes in Second Life. I knew the dangers and pitfalls of online relationships and even bringing those into Real life. I wished to avoid those situations. The irony is not lost on me, that in avoiding the trap, I laid another for my heart.

I had set up Maztica as a way to reconnect with Jacob and my old DnD buddies in a strict format that allowed long distance role playing using PBP. As I was resigned to being the caregiver to both three children and an invalid wife who couldn’t even touch me, I sought only to occupy my mind and entertain my friends with the adult version of a game that I had written and DMed for the kids. Maztica for me was written around a fragment of canon lore that has remained unresolved even in fandom since its introduction in version 3e. It involved a certain goddess of love and a god of peace in a tangled tale of trickery, lust, reconciliation and revenge. I’ll have to leave this part vague as it would all involve spoilers in the game. I interwove delusions by Christi to make the story more fantastic an deep. As long I had sat and listened to those delusions as they developed over five months, those three years ago, I figured I might as well write them down in story arch form. It could lead to a novel I contemplated writing and even movie rights lol. My personal goal was that I wanted to show the kids some aspects of their mom’s insanity in a relatable form to them, while keeping the story light, playing pirate against vampire and noble savage against mermaids. As the kids lost interest in spending the amount of time involved to develop this overarched story, I shifted back to the PBP and convinced Jacob to play outright. That’s when I had the brilliant idea to invite Nate, because I knew he had just recently dealt with similar demons and would perhaps have the time then to therapeutically play as I did. He brought in Tina, who I was ecstatic to include, and Jacob brought in his brother. All of my high school friends who had taught me DnD were already overbooked in campaigns. The game was out of balance so I opened it up on gamersplane and I interviewed a few but found none that suited. I had promised Tina that I would find another girl to play and I needed someone who would commit to a story based role play. Kitty applied and then backed off when she saw how intensely I wanted to play, but thankfully I explained the format was simply intended to be similar to reading a romance novel on the sofa. At that, she was hooked. Being the gatekeeper, I asked three questions three. Ginger candy or rich chocolate? Fissy soda that tickles the nose or dark run that warms the heart? Fast dance or slow? Her answers were maybe chocolate, definitely rum, and an enthusiastic fast dance since she was a ballroom dancer. Not only did I accept her as a player, I was already smitten.

Long story made a bit shorter, I spent more time in back story than I ever thought possible. I used Tina‘s busy schedule as my excuse to draw out the back stories, but Jacob knew before I did that I was losing myself in Kitty’s story. Having been invited by me to be a tenant in my island city in Second Life ages ago, Jacob knew much more about online relationships than I, so we shared a great deal about them. I insisted that it was a story, but the whole experience gave me strength and insight into who I was and who I had become.

Nevertheless, the whole experience of the game and my insistence on spending my time after story time on the game gave me a focus and hobby to my otherwise catatonic existence. Not happy with the status quo, I soon found that I needed to do something in real life to improve things, so I shined up my spine and started talking to Christi about renewing efforts to heal herself and getting back on a path of recovery. To convince me that she was perfectly healthy, she revealed to me that she had continued to develop the delusions that caused her the break three years ago. Not only that, Christi was asleep and she was now Zelda. Needless to say, I panicked. I was betrayed. Y’all all know the story from there in too much detail.

Last night I talked to Zelda about what I needed to do to stop enabling her illness and to start helping her. As she is insistent that she is not crazy, the discussion ended quickly but she then suspected me of abandonment, of attempting to steal the kids, and of divorce. She insisted on seeing my phone to check that I had not recorded her conversations, and I admitted that I had and have already uploaded them to the cloud. She immediately attacked me with my own Paladin’s sword. She accused me of breaking my oath and her trust. I stood there bleeding in my own emotions of regret and self condemnation. Nate and I have talked extensively about being fallen Paladins in this regard, but it still hurts to hear it thrown in my face. I had warned Kitty that I was going to broach this subject and she was prepared to calm me down afterwards and helped me sort my thoughts and emotions. I am gaining resolve but it all hurts very badly now.

One thing she said group chatting earlier with her gaming friends resonated with me. A great deal of people come to the games not just for entertainment but for outright escape from horrible things in their lives. I’ve known this for quite some time. I left Second Life to go back to learning to social dance without an animation plugin. I hope to get through Maztica with some healing, too. But still, it hurts and will always. But still we comfort each other. But still, we figure a way to acquire something from the experience and move forward.

I have at least a years’ worth of Maztica written in my head. Maybe more. The choice of ending is still vague. The true villains have not revealed themselves as yet. But the heroes stand beside me, my friends and family. I thank you all.

Real quick, just wanted to say that I've been busy today. Neither of you has scared me off. And Tina's been overwhelmed by some other issues, which is why she hasn't been participating much. So... don't read into that. :)

Well, I just set a trend for sharing the sensitive stuff right away, didn't I? lol.

I am glad I didn't scare y'all away with that. Of course, it was still the watered down version where I didn't get into the details of the ways that Alyster traumatized us, because it's hard to believe or understand without living through it. We may share some more of that, someday, but it's more depressing than y'all need to hear right now.

I'm going to, once again, answer in random order and probably forget to respond to something, and then kick myself later for not acknowledging or talking to something. But that is who I am. Also, I will probably keep overcompensating and overclarifying. You can ask Tina. I still clarify things that are just barely ambiguous, right after saying them out loud. Things I KNOW she will know what I meant. But there is a compulsion around accuracy that I have. One that I have managed to get halfway decent at suppressing when the inaccuracy occurs while someone else is telling a story and an insignificant detail is incorrect. I used to interrupt Tina and correct that. Irritated the hell out of her. But she's awesome and forgives me and stuff.

As for the headbutting with Jacob - I must say that it's not entirely his fault. I own some of the responsibility, and I'm fine with admitting that. I feel like, sometimes, he does try to retcon his reaction and play it off as not annoyed when he was, or something like that. Hell, we all do, don't we (speaking in terms of humanity in general)? And so, I will do my best to let it roll off, but sometimes I will get in a mood and get snarky, or be a turd. I'll get over it. And I'm sorry I got all upset and morose early on, when I kept dying over and over and over again. I was feeling useless and like I was more of a burden than a help to the team. And I didn't handle it well. Nor do I handle getting confused well, lol. But y'all have been great about accepting me, and helping me back to the right mindset in the game, or encouraging me when I'm being mopey. That's one of the reasons I already felt like I would like you, Kili. Because you made an effort, even if it was in character (and sometimes out of character) to make sure I was okay. That meant something. Especially in the world we live in today, where I see so many people caring only about themselves.

Which, I guess I should warn you, I'm a bit passionate about people treating other people with respect, no matter how they may differ from themselves. That sentence was not easy to craft, and I still don't like it, but I think you probably know what I'm trying to say. I suppose I am what some would call a social justice warrior, but I don't see that term as being in any way negative. I'm a Christian, but not the judgmental, condemning everyone who thinks differently than me, type. If you are on facebook, I'd like to friend you (Kili) on there, but I'd also want to warn you that I post some stuff that is often seen as political. Not that I mean it as political, necessarily. I'm moreover passionate about truth and justice. And, well, I just cannot stand what Trump has done to this country. Again, I hate to bring politics in here, and I don't want to. But... I just thought I would get that out of the way. I don't care if people are Republican or Democrats, those labels are just poorly defined and applied groupings. So are conservative and liberal. All of those things. I don't care about that. But Trump... I don't care what party he represents, he is just a horrible person.

So, I feel like I probably have not offended or driven you away with that. Because you seem like a good person. But at the same time, I know people who I think of as good people, and yet they still support Trump, so there is a small chance that I just broke this budding friendship. But, as I said, I will be upfront and honest. And I won't bring up politics out of the blue again. I just wanted to warn you that if we did become friends on Facebook... well, I go on rants from time to time, about the injustices I see. And a lot of them seem to fall at his feet lately. ANYWAYS, uncomfortable tangent over with, let's move on to something else.

And then... the next thing that pops into my mind actually could be called political. Isn't that ironic? But it's simply this: on average, men suck. A lot. Men are horrible, awful, dirtbags. On average. I am probably classified as a male feminist. Because I am sick and tired of the way men treat women. What happened to you, and has happened to many women, is vile and repulsive. And entirely blamed on him, in my opinion. And, I'm going to offer some unsolicited opinion, because this is another thing I'm passionate about, so I'm sorry if it seems out of place. But I hope that you know that none of that situation is your fault. None of it. Zero. He is entirely responsible for who he is and what he does. Could you have possibly broken out of it sooner? Doesn't matter. Because he was the one doing it. I've seen friends and family members go through similar things. And, unlike many people who judge from the outside, I know that the men who do this to women know how to do it well. I don't know if it's instinctual or what, but it is vile and repugnant. They convince you, slowly, that you deserve it, or that you don't have a chance for better, or many other things. It is a deep and dark type of manipulation that is very hard to escape. And when people do escape (because, in reality, it does sometimes happen the other way around, gender wise, but rarely), it is often driven by how the abuser acts towards someone else, much as it was about the dog for you. I am so sorry, as a representative of the male gender, for how you were manipulated and used. It's disgusting and should never happen, but happens all too much. So... yeah. I'm not sure what you'll make of that, but... men suck. And it's nobodies fault but theirs. And I am glad for you that you were able to break free, but also understand that it's something that will be with you for a long time. And that pisses me off that a guy was just fine with that.

I hope you don't feel like I'm taking a tone of condescension or "wisdow" or anything like that. I say all this knowing that you may very well already know all of it. But sometimes it's good to hear it from other people. To know that you are not "crazy" if you think things like that, and you are not alone. That goes for anything I say to either of you, Kili or Rod. I know that I can get into a method of speaking that may sound authoritative or lecture-like. Especially about things that are... important. But I'm not trying to teach anyone, or say that I'm right about everything. I'm just speaking my mind, and hoping that it can be helpful in whatever way it might.

Rod... I'm so sorry that you were called out last night as breaking oath and trust. That had to hurt. And though you probably know in your head that the trust and oath had already been broken by her, that doesn't mean that it doesn't feel crappy. But I will still remind you that you are not to blame, either. Your action of recording her was for her own good, as well as that of your children and yourself. It is not breaking an oath or trust. It's keeping a commitment, and doing what is best for those you are responsible for (and, in this case, what's best for her, too). She may not see it that way now, or ever. But when you start to doubt yourself, question your actions, remember that you did not do this selfishly. You spent years trying to work within the constraints, and she withheld from you the further development of the psychosis. You asked her to make an effort to heal, and she was unwilling. She will clearly not seek help of her own accord, so taking precautions like you have is prudent and in her best interest. Of course, that's all logical, factual, information, which doesn't help a lot with the feelings. Just know that we are all here, and we see it all, and we do not judge you, or find your actions lacking in love. We do not see an oathbreaker. We do not see a fallen Paladin. We see someone trying to do the right thing, even in pain and suffering and hurt. Even when the right thing is really hard, and the person you are doing it for does not want the right thing. As fallen as you feel, you need to remember that all Paladin's are fallen to begin with. We are human. We are fallable. It's the choices you make, in your fallen state, that show your true Paladin character.

Like you said, I count as much as a fallen Paladin as anyone. But I try to do better every day. And that is the true character of a Paladin. Trying to make the world a better place. Not being a saint in the first place and never failing. You are a Paladin, Rod, whether you see it or not.

I think that's enough for now... my son is wanting to ask me a question, and I have rambled on for quite a bit, so... good time for a chapter break, right?

Nate, I’ll tell you. Kitty and I are arguing over who would marry you first, if we met you before Tina did.

Hahahahahaha! You wouldn't want to. Tina is more than half the reason I am the person I am today. She has taught me much, and we have both grown together to see the world more truly than either of us was raised to see it. Not that our parents had bad intentions or anything. But I have honestly thought about how, if not for her, I would be the poster child for nerdy basement-cave dwelling computer ogre. She is the one who is really and truly awesome. She's just rubbed off on me. Along with putting up with me. Cause I was not easy to live with, and it is hard for me to change habits and absorb new social practices.

If overcompensating and clarifying is your default, then by all means, be you. I just wanted to make sure you didn't feel a need to do that solely because we're getting to know each other and might not pick up on those context/personal cues that we all express when we know someone well. I also hope that whatever Tina is going through gets easier and/or better soon!

I'm glad that I was able to help, I was really trying to! And I get the frustration, it was a bit hard to keep up at first and constantly going down would've had me feeling the exact same way! But honestly, you're one of the best characters in the campaign! And we all have a great joke now about you laying down on the job lol. I love our Mountain Man so much, he's the character I reference the most whenever Rod and I are in our subforum. We both kinda honestly enjoy maintaining the fun of the roleplaying our characters privately so as to not upset those who don't enjoy that as much as we do. *Sorry love, going to spill this as well because I can't NOT share the hilarious Storm reference I made!* So Duke proposed having an actual wedding ceremony because we didn't have that we we vowed to be husband and wife, to which, of course Kit said yes to. But the thought that I had as I was writing my response was this: "We should totally ask Storm to be the flower child! Just imagine his 7 foot something tall body walking down the aisle dropping pedals with a flower crown on his head. You can't tell me that's not the funniest thought!" Sharing all the love for your character is my way of saying that I'm really glad we were able to help and that you stuck around with us!

It might be a bit before I add people on Facebook. One of the reasons I don't really use it anymore is that my family gets a bit intrusive and nosy on my page and feed. I live at home so there's not much privacy lol. But honestly, the political talk doesn't bother me. I'm the same way, the parties are just groupings. I've been so angry in the past couple of elections because I don't usually listen to the debates and such, but I hear the ads everywhere on TV and YouTube. I get so tired of the slandering and fearmongering that candidates do now instead of spreading awareness of what they believe in and support and what they can actually do for us. Being a social justice warrior shouldn't be negative, we should all be trying to do that with our times currently. Fight those injustices, more of us need to be! But yeah, I hate Trump too. So no possible friendships ruined! :D

A lot of men suck, yes lol. I do know it's not my fault that he did that to me, but it's hard to remove that mentality that it is. I work on it little by little though to try to correct that mindset and I know that'll take a long time. It took a year of being broken up to finally put my foot down and say "I'm tired of your abuse, don't talk to me again" and actually block him from being able to contact me. I hate anyone who does this no matter what kind of relationship, couple, familial, friends, doesn't matter. It's uncalled for!

And feel free to speak your mind, there's no thought of you being condescending or anything of the sort! I appreciate that you would offer your thoughts and advice, especially as someone who does the same.

And he's right dear, I told you last night too that you're not the oath breaker here, but I know it hurts and we're all here for you and we all love you!

Oh the mind just created a thong of flowers and that was a horrible sight! Lmao

My work here is done. 😉

I am so sorry to just be getting caught up with everything, but I loved reading through this and getting to know everyone better. I have been in a bit of anxiety overload this past week. I made a trip to Texas to visit my parents last weekend, and it turned out to be unexpectedly stressful moreso than relaxing. My parents, though I love them dearly are Trumpets, so when I found out that one of my female attorney heroes had passed away right after I got to their house, I had to run into the bedroom and do a little private crying (because I didn't want them to ask why I was upset and things devolve into a messy political discussion). And then my dad told me that he had an irregular stress test come back and some additional heart problems they found when they ran more tests. He is only 61, but he is basically a walking health problem, God bless him. Lol So this whole pandemic has been extra stressful for me because I worry about him. Anyway, I am feeling better now.

I would like to reiterate that it has been such a pleasure playing the game, and I love the way you soften interactions but also maintain your badass goddessness, Kili! :D I have been trying to keep the vibe for my character consistent, and I picture her as much more authoritative, a bit more uptight, and quieter than I in real life. Rod mentioned that he has had to reassure the other players that I am just joking when I make some of my sarcastic or irritated replies in the game. I was so surprised that anyone took my jabs seriously. Lol I am not sure we ever really see ourselves the way that others do, but I think if we met in real life, you would be able to tell that I am all bark and no bite, so to speak. Except, of course, when somebody messes with kids or animals, then it's on! Lol I grew up with a very abusive mother whose voice still rings in my head quite a bit. That's one of the reasons Nate is so good for me. So, I kind of morph back and forth between what I think is my natural personality of authoritative, passionate, outspoken, and "bossy," and my learned/trauma personality of people pleasing, high anxiety, perfectionistic, hypervigilant shy girl. Nate can correct me if that isn't quite accurate, but I think it's close. I sometimes think of it as my attorney personality and my non-attorney side competing for dominance. Lol Nate came up with a strategy for dealing with my anxiety by giving me big hugs and telling me that I am not a failure until I start to believe it. Cause he's the best like that. :D At this point I would like to add that "I am the winner!" I found him, and I'm keeping him. Lol I am very lucky to have him. He is super supportive, as well as sweet and kind, honest and fair, and so many other mushy descriptors!!

Anyway, let's see. More about me is that I have always loved animals. I thought for a brief time that I would grow up to be a veterinarian, but then I realized that my great dislike for blood might be problematic. . . . So, I had to find a new dream. Lol I got to college, still unsure of what I wanted to do when I grew up, but soon ran out of gen Ed requirements and settled on Spanish. I love the language and learning about the many cultures that the language represents. However, it turns out that when the college assures you that you can do all sorts of things with this degree, other than teaching, that is less than accurate. *eye roll* So, I endeworking for an adoption agency after college that was run by a semi-crazy attorney. I realized that I really liked the law, and if Mr. Crazypants could make it through law school and pass the bar, I was pretty sure I could too, by golly. So, here I am, living the dream of being mostly unemployed while I stay home to homeschool my kids. But one day I will be able to rejoin the work force more and make the moderate bucks that law school promised! Ha ha! And thanks to Nate, I am not a crazy dog lady. Lol

So, Kili, how much more do you have to go for your degree, or are you looking for an assistant teaching position now? Are you from NC, or did you just end up there? Your southern manners are on point! Lol

And Rod, I don't know that I can add anything meaningful to what Nate already said, but you are SUCH an amazing man and a wonderful, devoted father. I used to tell the other parents at co-op that if anything ever happened to Nate and I, our kids would want to go live with you. Lol Kili, if you didn't know, Rod coached a robotics team that our son was on, and it was pretty much his favorite thing ever. He has also taught a variety of math and science classes to both of our kids at our homeschool co-op. They adore him! And I adore his kids too. They are so bright and have such great personalities. And, of course, Aslan's freckles are, indeed, to die for. :) I am definitely a better and more well-rounded person for having known you, dear Rod.

See! I told you she was most of the reason I am who I am today! She's the real deal! And... personally, I have trouble thinking of her as shy, because she's an extrovert. But a reserved extrovert. She doesn't open up easily, but thrives on human interaction.

Wow Tina! You are too kind. And your kids are welcome to come live with us! Only if y'all come too! We will start a commune, complete with robots and hamster tunnels to the various bedrooms and playrooms and virtual reality projection rooms and wildlife petting room and multiple pokemon training gyms. It would be a riot. I would build a three story library and art room for Izzy and a paintball course for Aslan and a flying simulator for Ike's bedroom. I'll do the kitchen and servery. I'll need to add a TikTok greenroom studio, too.

I'm sorry to hear about your trip and your dad Tina but I'm glad you're all settled again! And thank you for the compliment! My character was supposed to not have a sensitive side to her, but the backstory and a bit of my own self ended up creating what she is, which is honestly a close version of myself minus the lack of confidence and tons of self-doubt.

I do have to admit that I was one of the ones who was a bit concerned about your character lol but I did come around and realize that it was just the way your character was. I honestly love it, I thought it was hilarious when you huffed at Duke for petting your wolf form and looked at him with the "never again" glance. I can say that I can relate to the tendency to be overly protective to children and animals. I'm sorry about your upbringing, I can't fully understand, but I do understand having a difficult relationship with your mother. But you two are absolutely precious, you and Nate! You two sound like a dream couple!!

I would be a crazy dog lady myself to be honest haha! And yes, Rod has very excitedly told me about all of the teaching he's done, with pictures of the outfits he's whipped up lol! This should be my last year in my degree, but I have been seeking teacher assistant positions until the pandemic hit. My mother and I are immuno-compromised and her health is terrible so any job that requires leaving home is a risk. My dad doesn't work from home, but has his station at work set up for very minimal interaction and we have strategies for when he gets home to keep us hopefully not having to come into contact with it if it ends up on his clothes. In the mean time, I'm just looking for anything I can do that allows me to work from home. I've lived in NC my whole life in the same area. Even went to college in a city that I have family in. I have traveled a lot within the states though.

And I'm sorry, Pokémon training gyms? Why am I just now finding out that you're a Pokémon fan? I will bring my water deck and my DS with my Pokémon games and my Pokémon mod for Minecraft to play all the Pokémon ever!

The gyms are for Zeke, their oldest. He and I have often talked Pokémon Go but that’s about it. He would eat you up Kitty.

Oh nice! I’ll bring my Pokémon GO account too!! I actually got both of my parents into Pokémon through the app. My mom screamed with excitement the other night when she caught a shiny Pokémon, it was adorable.

Rod, that sounds like a dream! We would have so much fun! Of course, Jade and I would have to come up with some great vegetarian meal options because we wouldn't be able to eat any of our animal friends. Lol

Kili, that sounds tough. I am really lucky that we can afford for me to mostly stay home right now. Nate's job has given everyone the option to work from home, and only 3 of them are currently going into the office. So they can stay away from each other. It's great because the kids and I would be so distracting if he had to stay home. Lol

Yes, our oldest, Zeke, would just adore you! I know just enough to get by, but he can talk about Pokemon for hours! His second love is Zelda. He is dying for the next Breath of the Wild to come out. :D He and Jade have just recently gotten into Minecraft. I don't think they are aware of the Pokemon mod, or he would be asking for that every day! Lol

Well if you ever want to get it for him, he’ll probably love every second of it! I actually work on a network that’s PG-13 and runs both the Pixelmon (Pokémon mod) and normal Minecraft servers. If he ever wants to play online, I’ll make sure he’s taken care of!

Yes, Zeke will talk and talk and talk about Pokémon. But it's good for him to have interests, even if I can't understand him half the time. And it's not like I'm video game alliterate. It's just there there is a lot of canon and technical details to Pokémon, and I never got into the game to begin with. I'm more of a Zelda / Puzzler / Platformer gamer.

It would be awesome to live in such a commune. And that Library would have to be shared... though if I'm honest, I've gotten way to used to the convenience of reading library-loaned books on my Kindle. I haven't read a paper book in years now. I'm speaking of a Kindle e-paper reader, not a Kindle Fire tablet. Once they added the unique non-backlit lighting, I was hooked.

Kili - unfortunately, our kids play it on the XBox, (and soon to be on the Switch, once the package gets through the "up to 6 week" delays in media mail postal sorting). So... no mods for them, unfortunately. But they will at least be on the bedrock edition once we get the Switch version. I'm starting to regret ordering that, though. I had no idea there was a pokemon mod, otherwise I would have gone for the PC version instead.

Well I don't know your financial situation or how much/little you want to "spoil" the kids, but you could always consider getting them Minecraft accounts on the PC for Christmas. I think it's around $25 now? But the mods and such are all free of course! I'm unfamiliar with the Xbox and Switch versions as I've had PC so no need to get it for my Xbox, but I know that with PC, you get the ability to have a custom character skin and access to public servers (which most are usually at least PG/PG-13 but I always suggest making sure your kids are practicing safe internet usage because I've seen some "interesting" conversations happen).

And myself, while I can read on a device, I just can't ever fully replace the pleasure of curling up to a hardcover book with a cup of hot tea and my favorite sweater! Especially on a car trip!

Ok guys. What would you recommend for my kids on Minecraft. It seems a good game for the builder in Ike or the designer in Izzy.

I would suggest one of two styles: either regular Survival Minecraft or Creative mode. Both of these can be offline/individual save files or on a public, online server. They would be able to build in both, but with Survival, they would have to farm for the resources to build whatever it is they want to create while also playing the game (fighting monsters, eat, farming, etc.). With Creative, they have access to that gamemode and can get any item whether it be by finding it in the directory or using a command to spawn it. Both gamemodes have their pros and cons from my perspective, but either could work.

There are modded versions that include more complex building/decorating custom items, but the public server has to either offer them or you have to find a modpack that includes decorating mods in it. Both are feasible and easier than it sounds.

Survival sound fun and a good logic puzzle for them. And if I could feel comfortable with the online it would be such fun to build virtually with Jade and Zeke and you Kitty. Perhaps the Masters kids play? Is is possible to limit the online to certain friends and exclude others like a chat room? In second life, I would have had to buy an entire island of server space to restrict interaction with strangers. There were Hard divisions between the underage and the adult builds, but any private divisions were expensive. The universities came together as a collective and bought multiple islands that they called EduIsland that they restricted but where the individual universities managed their own private access lists. I started the U of Texas Island between Rhode Island creative writing department and the U of Hawaii art department. We did a collaborative build where I terraformed a volcano on my land I managed with a temple for assembly and classes, and then terraformed Hawaii’s lagoon and RI’s forest. The SL guy from Hawaii in turn programmed the lava flow off the volcano and RI set up a series of outdoor classroom animations for avatars throughout set to various fairy tales. My point is that with land next to you, there is a lot of overlap that’s hard to exclude and fun to explore, but I wouldn’t want to do that with kids except with ones I know.

You could buy your own server, they can be a cheap payment of a couple of bucks a month. If you didn’t want to do that, I’d bring them to the server I manage so that I know they’ll be watched and taken care of by myself and my staff.

oOO maybe I can start play this vacay. Let me look into it. We plan to do some hill exploration tomorrow as dvds and hot chocolate can't entertain us forever. The Izz had seen Frozen at a very long chiropractic/evalutation family visit once. She just told me this. That's why she didn't want to watch it again and instead read her book in another room. Ike and Aslan had no problem watching it full on again. I loved the story! Sad that Christi has restricted them from watching movies like this. I can engage Izzy with Harry Potter, but Ike has only read through one of the dvd's that I brought, so I'm stuck with a limited selection. Minecraft could certainly fill that void.

saw the sun begin to dim
And felt that winter wind
Blow cold
A man learns who is there for him
When the glitter fades and the walls won't hold
'Cause from then, rubble
One remains
Can only be what's true
If all was lost
Is more I gain
'Cause it led me back
To you
From now on
These eyes will not be blinded by the lights
From now on
What's waited till tomorrow starts tonight
Tonight
Let this promise in me start
Like an anthem in my heart
From now on
From now on

Thank you Nate and Tina for introducing me to The Greatest Showman

The moment he told me that he was going to watch The Greatest Showman, I both fangirled myself, but also told him that he'd love it! Never has Rod sent me more messages that I didn't prompt! I was doing the dishes while he watched and every time I was done washing a portion, I'd dry my hands and check my messages to see 6-8 messages with lyrics in them and the occasional comment about the movie in there. I was so amused!

Hey, you started it! lol :P

hahahaha. I told you it had some of the best music in a modern musical! Not to mention a good moral or two. A little lax on historical accuracy, but that can be forgiven, right?

I’ll be returning those dvds Sunday. I’m on a romantic movie kick. Nate, do you happen to have The Holiday?

Yes, I'm pretty sure we do. I'll have to dig it out from the messy room, though.

Just suggest to Tina that the room is messy. You might get lucky... and HAVE to clean it.

I'm not making more movie suggestions if you're just going to make poor Nate and Tina clean up for them! :P

Sheepishly goes and cleans the room myself.

Had a lot of fun hanging out tonight, Rod! Wish we could have mashed a smores through the forum to you Kili! Or better yet, just had you join us for the non-bonfire (stupid weather being all too hot for a bonfire... I wanted to make big fire!)

Oh I wish I could've joined! I love toasted marshmallows and s'mores!! I'm glad you all had fun though!

Good times. Next fire, Nate, we will build it big enough that Kitty can see, too.

Not sure the Conway Fire Department would appreciate that.

@Kili - sorry if my less than kind response to Jacob was annoying. I decided to take a stand this time, rather than just let him be an ass and move on. I personally have NO IDEA what I supposedly missed, and what the point of his dialogue was. But I did not take the attempt at a rebuke very well. I played Storm's dialogue/actions based on my best guess as to the meaning of his dialogue. If he wanted to discuss my misunderstanding of his intent in character, or even out of character, that would be fine. But disdain and snarking at me was just too much for me. Well, that on top of his other asinine moments I've had to pretend were just us misunderstanding him, not him being a jerk. Sigh. I'd much rather people just be straight with me, not play these games.

EDIT: oh, and this message was directed to you specifically because I've already bemoaned the situation with Rod via FB Messenger.

No kidding. Don’t wear kid gloves with Thomas. He needs to learn some manners. I offer my apologies for even including him When he is like this, though Kitty is right, he does play the dramatic role well when he stays in character. The first outburst drove me to pickup the phone and talk to him. He seems oblivious to the effect he has with his snark.

Hahaha. I just literally finished writing and posting my response to his explanation of the "simple" intent he had, in which I specifically called out the fact that I was trying to follow your lead in doing JUST THAT. Not threatening the man. Hahahaha.

I appreciate the advice, but that's a thing I have to do for myself. If I let my snarky side out, it can get a little excessive and cutting. Sharp and cutting snark, insults, and criticism is a skill that I wish I wasn't so good at. Because it's not who I want to be. I always regret it in the end when I let that skill out of it's carefully crafted cage.

Yeah, I'm tired of him blaming his snarky moments on just being in-character or us just overreacting. We're not idiots. If you want to be snarky, fine. Just don't act like we're the crazy ones when we call you out on it. And also, damnit, it's our narrative, too! Just because any one of us has a particular idea of how the narrative should develop, it doesn't give them a right to censor or "correct" another's contributions to the narrative. I almost snarked a comment asking him if I should PM him my every dialogue outside of fighting to get his approval before posting it, so that I could make sure that he approved of the narrative. Or asking him, sarcastically of course, if he would provide me the "acceptable" narrative options that I could respond with.

As long as we are airing complaints! Lol. I’m tired of him not reading my descriptions and making other shit up and then complaining I’m correcting him. Hasn’t he read the rules lmao.

I laughed at that idea so much harder than I should've!

Lol. Well, it wasn't my goal to make this a "rag on Jacob" event. lol. But apparently some release was needed. I just hope Kon doesn't get too bored with all this non-action. ;)

Seriously, though. I'm glad y'all understand and let me vent. And I'm sorry Jacob would not let up with the "how can they see the fight if there are no windows" thing. like... what? Of course, I can't really say much, given how much I get confused by things, sometimes by simply missing a post here and there. But I try not to be a jerk about it.

Oh it’s no problem to me, vent whenever you need it! I know I definitely didn’t mind letting the frustration out personally.

I dont think Kon minds the non action. That’s his middle name.

Ok. I’ll say it. I believe I just saw Jacob take the blame of the snark conflict even if it were only to move on past it.

Yeah, not quite the apology one would hope for, but at least he took responsibility.

at 8:23pm:
at 8:40pm:
The timing here is priceless... (yes, I did add the timestamps to the quote headers)

Jacob caught on fast. lol!

well, Kitty and I were discording and were pretty sure we were being super obvious, lmao. But I was hopeful to drag it out, since you weren't jumping up and down about our clues and so maybe Thomas would feel insecure about sticking his neck out even if he thought he was sure the answer, But no. We couldn't decide whether to answer Thomas's question or be coy. Coy seemed better, since I planned a better reveal for the final battle here, but oh well, I liked Duke going all irrational and spilling the beans that Jacob had already cooked up.

I was, sad to say, not making the connection. Of course, I am still fighting with insomnia, so I'm a bit brain dead. If I had my wits about me, I would have quipped to Jacob that the person who left the footprints must have made the Leap of Faith before doing the sand thing.

Oh yes! I was waiting for someone to do that and break their knees on the steps.

I actually thought about doing that, but I was going to snatch Storm's, whatsitcalled, "Rod of Immoving" or something like that so I could without falling fully into the water lmao.

Seafox can't do that, she doesn't even know Storm has it. Unless she's been using that charm for more frivolous purposes than she admonished Storm for wishing to use it. ;)

Good thing I didn't, I hadn't realized that lmao!

I know you don't, I was just teasing Rod haha. No reason to feel stupid, he just talked it up as being Kit so well, it's not your fault. It took everything in me NOT to say it! hahaha

I'm just a little worried what the crazy knight will do now. Lord knows his brain does not engage when Kit is threatened. That's why I tried to head it off in dialog, even though it seems like we are ending for the night.

That makes two of us who are worried. Kit constantly reminds him to be safe, mostly for her own peace of mind though. I know, it's getting so good, it's almost like another cliffhanger!

NAZIFOX LADY!!! hahahahaha. alright, sorry. maybe that's not as funny as I thought. Maybe it's a little tasteless, but it wasn't intentional.

Hahahahaha! I don't mind it!

Outsiders opinion please, was what I said to Jacob too much? I was trying to be nice while also saying stfu. I get that it’s frustrating when your post gets missed, but it happens at times. I’d have been annoyed a little if no one had been bothered by Caine showing up instead of Kit, but I wouldn’t have been crying about it.

I feel a bit bad, we all have our things that trigger and upset and bother and hurt us... but at the same time, I feel like it was unnecessary too. I’m not wrong in that thought, am I?

I think you handled it well, and graciously. He seems rather... possessive of the narrative, and in particular his character's place in it. His action would have been beneficial, had not the stars aligned on Storm's one-hit kill of the spitting drow (still in a bit of a shock at that one myself).

I suppose his reaction to my spinning of my "left behind" narrative offended his view of the "honor" of his character, and that's why he got all stuck on his own interpretation of events, despite the fact that it would require the bag of jewels to have just magicked themselves out of my dream and into my pocket.

I thought his insistence upon writing out the supposed narrative as he saw it should have played out as being just a bit overbearing. Couched as a beautiful composition of prose, his snark is still dripping through. Granted, I get frustrated when my posts get overlooked, but I try not to be an ass about it. Hopefully I succeed, most of the time at least.

Which is why I enjoyed the fact that you decided to counterpoint his snark with your own narrative, both in (what I assume to be) an attempt to defuse the situation and a reminder that we each have our own hopes of how things would play out. And then he missed that completely, and decided that he would double-down with his whole "well, I'm the one who is going to tell this tale in song, so I get the last say on what the narrative will be in the end."

Ugh. Sorry, I'm starting into the complain about Jacob thing again. And also, sorry for if my brief period of "snarking right back at Jacob pretty heavily" the other day was uncomfortable for either of you. I tried to keep it above the belt, but kinda felt like he needed to be... reminded of what it's like to be on the receiving end of his BS.

Honestly, you're more than fine! I didn't appreciate his take on the situation either. Especially when I pointed out that Rod tends to miss things. He literally asked me today if he forgot to take Duke's turn in the battle at some point. It's easy as a player to get frustrated because we only have to keep up with ourselves and the story. Rod has to keep up with us, his NPCs, his bad guys, the story, how each part affects the story, let alone all of the math to do battles. And then he didn't apologize or anything for his annoyance or lack of consideration... he just wrote an alternative, which to me came off as him saying, "Well... I still don't agree with the way this all happened so let me SHOW you how it should've happened!"

I know it probably shouldn't have, but it royally pissed me off. I want all of us to enjoy the campaign so we can actually go through it from start to finish. I don't want anyone to get burnt out, especially Rod, and I actually said that to him last night or the night before. I don't know, I just feel that if he's been playing D&D for so long, then he should be way more considerate than he can be at times and at moments like that one, it takes a lot for me to say something without telling him the pure thoughts of my mind.

I'm sorry too, I didn't mean to start a "bash Jacob" moment, I really was looking for some form of making sure that I had actually done the above and not said something that I shouldn't have. And honestly, yes, I countered with my own narrative for exactly both of those reasons! I had my own view once he told me that they'd be finding Caine instead of Kit of how hilarious it would be for Duke to sweep Kit up in his arms all romantic as the sound of violins played a sweet, triumphant song as you'd expect at the end of a good love scene where two lovers are reunited... all for that to be ruined when Caine expressed that she'd liked to be put down. I had actually shared that view with Rod, a bit different than I'd presented when I typed it out, but I just found it a humorous situation altogether: the thought of lover reunited being ruined by embracing a complete stranger instead. A little humor has always been my go-to for situation diffusion.

I agree with that 100%. And don't worry, you weren't the one that started the bashing. I took it as you meant it. An honest request to check yourself. I was just a bit peeved at him myself for just bulldozing right through and once again trying to establish that he was the king of the narrative, and we just get in his way. So I was letting off some steam, as well as assuring you, or at least trying to, that you were not in the wrong to try to redirect him to a less self-centered view. And it either went right over his head, or he just doesn't care.

Kinda like when he decided to play incident and act like he had no idea why I would think he or Jacob didn't like me trying to think. Even though he seems to ignore anything that doesn't match his plan on how things will go, no matter if someone else has spent some time thinking things through. Urgh. I'm not having, just venting.

Anyways, love the way you've been playing Nazifox, kinda a fun character. Make sure she gets some good jabs of snark in at Jacob's expense! She's the perfect character to take him down a few notches. Hahaha.

Hahaha good point! And thank you! That character is honestly very caring internally, she just shows it in very little ways. Like in her actual campaign, she waited for the two who had fallen to catch up to the group and they were all being chased by a horde of spiders. She wanted to make sure they didn't get eaten... but she did it while she stood there arms crossed and with an annoyed look on her face! hahaha

She feels like a nice contrast to Kit honestly in terms of demeanor.

Well, I meant more as "she's an outsider" sorry of perspective. And she's got a wit, too.

I think we just got chastised for playing without Jacob last night. How dare we! Only he is allowed to play without others. (he can't control the narrative if he's not there, so that's not okay!)

Omg right?! If you got something to say, take the five minutes it takes to make a post before bed. I know that Rod usually wakes up in the middle of the night, and if he posts, there's no way I'm not posting too since I'll most likely be awake myself.

Although now I'm trying to remember what we did last night without him...

I believe we are somehow at fault for Duke not taking his turn, the dice miracle that killed the last Drowcaster, and talking through the results of the big reveal. How dare we have dialog without his rubber stamp of approval. lol

Rod actually asked me earlier tonight if he should tell Jacob that Duke was actually at full hit points, he was only down because of the poison. I told him no, don't want to piss him off more lol.

Let's be honest, it's probably my fault as the "divine intervention" that caused him to wake up sooner than he should've. I never expected that honestly, I was just like I can't imagine that he'd just lay there and nothing would happen... surely his brain would project some mental image of something encouraging that would make him want to fight the poison. Kind of like you hear people talk about the reason they fought some "I should've died" circumstance. So I envisioned that, since I didn't have anything else to do since Kit and Caine were tied up, and posted it in the subforum since we still use mine and I was quite surprised to see it end up on the game table! lol.

Hey. Are you two carrying on a narrative without me? This is how you should have bashed...

Hahahahaha. But, I think of this more as venting, than bashing. It's the healthy version.

Nate, I'm officially dubbing you the King of Gifs!!!

Hahahaha. You're too kind. I think. Now that I think about that, I'm not sure that is a good thing, lol. 😉

Just a reminder that we all love you, Rod!!!

I'm just waiting for Kili's turn as kit... "I struggle and yell, but my words are muffled and nobody can understand them."

And it was worth waiting for! So much better than I wrote it. lol.

Lol I aim to please! I was going to write something a lot sweeter, but I didn't want to gross anyone out with my gushy writing style, which is why that stays in the back story subforum. Jacob and Kon don't seem quite like the type to enjoy having to read some lovey, dovey post so I decided to tone it back more than my mind had planned for.

But I've always been a lover of romance novels so... I'm just happy that Rod seems to love it too!

Okay Rod, that, "I however don't give a damn" was so fucking perfect!!!

"Whine whine whine. me me me. Us us us. Serve me. You offended me! That would offend me, too! WHINE!"
...
...
...
...
"Gnight"

I swear, originally I thought it was a great thing when you and Tina joined the game to even out the gender balance. I just didn't realize I was playing with some tween girl drama artists already.

EDIT: Sorry, that was sexist, and I don't want to be like that.

Oh my gosh, I just laid over on my counter from laughing so hard! Honestly, I've had the exact same thought, even if it is sexist to think. But I tend to be quite vulgar so it wasn't quite as politely thought as "tween girl drama artists" so... at least you're a lot more polite than myself!

But honestly, no acknowledgement at all and just straight "Gnight" just made me so flustered... Kit is waiting for Kon to say something mean so she can smite him with an Eldritch Blast and blame it on pregnancy hormones! lol

I am so glad you didn’t think that was over the top. I’m just calling spades a spade now. Or as Storm means to say Whinney ass prima dona bitches.

So... I decided to express myself with a GIF. They can make what they want of that. lol

King of the gifs! So accurate honestly... I have that look often when I'm reading one of them complain, wondering how they have a problem with [xyz] problem.

So, quick aside question... Tina was wondering if the game was "closed" for new players, because she thought her sister might really enjoy playing. And I suggested that, maybe, she could "share" playing as Teth with her, since Tina is often overwhelmed by life (2020 and all) and finds her destressing in other ways.

How would you guys feel about introducing a new character/player and/or allowing Tina's sister to play as Teth sometimes. She has not played D&D before, but it really interesting in the occult and RPG video games, so we think she might enjoy. But we didn't want to ask her about it without first asking you guys. And... frankly, I don't give a rat's ass what Kon and Jacob think about it tonight, so... yeah.

well, I hate to say this at this point, because it's gotten a bad connotation tonight, but I need to get to bed less late than usual, cause I've been sleeping like crap.

But at least I didn't just say "Gnight".

Fare thee well might be a good send off now that "Gnight" is off the table lol! I hope you're able to get some rest!

I love the idea someone joining us! I hope she can handle whiny children Jacob and Kon, and if not, well... it's a good thing that Kitty's have claws. I'm still new, but I've been going at this for five months now so I have no problem assisting where she needs as I'm sure Rod would too if he's fine with it. As far as whether or not she plays Teth or her own character is, I think, better left to the god of the campaign as he'd be more knowledgeable of how a new person would join us best, but I'd be fine with either. Please tell Tina that I adore her though and will send her a hello every now and then through you! :D

Totally into that. I was wanting more depth and character. It was one reason I asked Kitty to play an additional on role or two. We have another character planned for later. Yes. Ask her. I think she should have her own character. Duke and Kit could run her through a back story to prepare her for the group. Would that be right Kitty?

Absolutely!

Okay, well... I'm not promising anything. As I said, we wanted to ask y'all first, and then approach her. :) And I think she would be down for creating her own character. I imagine her "backstory" would build her up to close to our levels, too. Just so she doesn't feel out of place in the battles our party might face?

For sure. That will just make doing a back story more fun. We can pull the story from a different perspective that way. She can go as slow or fast as she likes in the backstory to fit her schedule, as Kitty and/or I are on almost all the time.

Hey Nate, don’t get concerned when you see your post missing, I asked Rod to delete it.

no prob! but thanks for explaining, just in case I got confused. It makes sense to remove it, so I don't care. I'm not one to throw a hissy fit or anything. lolololololol

Also, hope you didn't think I was being snarky with the way I phrased that. It's just the way the phrase developed in my mind. But I was not making fun of you. I realized that it was easy to see the modifier difference and skip over the die. But, you know, I'm overexplainin' now. hahaha

Oh no no no, you're fine! I don't have an issue at all with you pointing out the stats and numbers, I just needed the original message to change per Jacob's request and that meant the original message you posted quoting it had to go too.

Ah. Kon's pouting thing? He's so sensitive. I was beginning to wonder if he is still throwing a hissy fit, as we are still waiting on him today.

EDIT: the irony that I posted this at the same time that Kon posted his action...

Once again, Jacob apparently decided to rewrite the narrative so that he could majestically and heroically be the one to save Kit, despite the DM already having narrated that we all worked together to free her. Sigh.

Revisionist? He's calling me out for revisionist history because I changed my text to fit the narrative that happened while I was typing it. But then, when he replies to the revised version and claims the ointment, I'm being rude by pointing out that he couldn't have done that? I just wanted the person who needed healing to get it.

breathe. Just breathe.

I'm torn between encouraging you to relax and pointing out that Jacob has done many a revisions in his own "temper tantrums".

yeah. I don't consider correcting for typing something that doesn't make sense given what has transpired while you type it a "revision."

I do consider his "this is how it will be told in song" and "Jacob to the acrobatic rescue" as being revisioning. I try not to go against what others establish.

I think I'm just a little edgy / irritable with him on the subject of the narrative. He's irked me a few too many times on that. I'll try to be more chill about it and give him some slack.

Lmao! I think he's pressed a nerve for all of us as of late, the both of them really. I was trying to calm Rod down during the fight tonight because of it. Honestly, he's right, sometimes, it's super fast! But go back and edit it or delete your post.

And once again, thank you Kitty for your help last night. I was on my last nerve trying to not "edit" their actions but stay within an overall narrative. Have they not heard of collaboration? I have a mind to talk to Thomas about it, but I know where that will go.

Just thought I would share something I just chatted with Rod about... I'm really anxious about all of us dying in this next battle. We've been taking rough hits (single-hit kills) in these build-up battles, and the boss-battle is getting kinda intimidating. I'm gonna be real sad if I lose my fancy sword... I doubt that the DM would be inclined to allow our party's journey to up and end at this point, so I imagine he would come up with some clever way to revive all of us, but... not without a cost.

Or you can win the battle lol.

Honestly, it’s a concern for me too! With no ability to heal, I worry!! But I worry over everything so I feel better knowing I’m not the only one that’s worried! I don’t want any of these characters to die!!!

Hey Nate, I have a question for you. I know you and I think one of your kids have Asperger's so I'm hoping maybe you've seen this or experienced it and can shed a bit of light for me. My daughter who's an Aspy too came to me and was saying that she's struggled with focus since she was about 6 years old. Is an inability to focus something you or your little one had problems with?

She told me it happens to her a lot with conversations, but with the idea of getting her license now in her head, she's worried she won't be able to focus if she tries to drive.

In my defense, the Rum is Tina's. :D

I'm not bothered by who's idea it was to give him rum, I'm just happy to see him loosened up and enjoying himself! :D

I tried to give the impression that I didn't want him to read that, by the way, and I stopped him very quickly. I will gladly forget that I heard anything. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Because I don't remember any of it. :)

Quite a bit too late on the embarrassment, but thank you for stopping him!!! I'm also very sorry that you even started to hear that! Give me the rest of the night though to forget that you even need to forget that! lol :)

Where has all the RUM gone?

Check Zeke's old bedroom, Rod might've snatched and ran with it! lol

You guys!

It's okay, as it turns out, he left all the blue rum for Tina. lol.

Oh gosh! Lmao

You're so nice, Kili! I put that last bit in just to make sure that Kon did not think I was making fun of him for falling in the sewage. gotta be careful with the sensitive ones, right? Anyways, I'm good and not upset. Just tend to play against myself when I'm trying to make sure others are not offended.

Oh I know you're alright Nate! I hadn't picked up on you trying to make sure that Kon didn't feel picked on, but to be fair, he did fall in a river of unmentionables so... he's probably going to reek badly! But yes, gotta be careful with the sensitive ones. I can be quite the sensitive one, especially when it comes to Kit as she ended up becoming so many facets of myself that I have to remind myself not to get upset whenever someone has had issues with the way I play her.

But with her playstyle mentioned, there's no way I'm not going to comfort anyone who writes about being in any way not okay! That's just me/her/both of us!

So what are people’s thoughts on starting a teleparty Stranger Things series with video conferencing. The teleparty for Netflicks is a chrome extension so it’s very easy. It comes with text messaging, but Zoom or FaceTime would be good. Nate mentioned a room camera for here.

I don't know that we have a room camera to use, but a laptop could be set up so mutiple people could say hi

No matter what he says, I did not decorate the living room like that in honor of you. Tina has been after me to do that for the last few Halloweens, and I finally got around to doing it.

That’s not what you told me! Oh, yeah maybe it was. But you told me to say you did it for anyway. No, That was me too. I’m going to sit in my corner and post on the forums.

Awww you poor thing! Nobody puts Baby in the corner!

Hahahaha! Are you asking me to dance?

If I am, then I'm leading hahahaha!

Ok, so I'll get to run and jump. You do the lift.

I just wanted to put this here to celebrate Kitty getting high marks as well as a teacher's mark of praise for her latest written legal argument assignment for Accommodations Law Class! WOOT! WOOT! WOOT!

Well, Kon may regret taking that defensive position. If only the person directing his actions would pay attention to what's happened.

Oh yes, I was making my passive aggressive comments to Rod instead of to Kon like I wanted to. But I'm in a bad mood so I'm glad to know my frustration at his action wasn't just me at all! Although I see the issue you have, I didn't notice that, I was too flustered that he didn't add a STR check and he only posts like ONCE a day so I was afraid we'd have to wait forever to continue the round.

And I'm told that today is the perfect day to say... HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATE!

Thank you! And, no, you were not the only one to be annoyed.

Gotta use the kid gloves with the sensitive ones... lol.

DM: has 4-part conversation with self, setting up multiple ethically ambiguous quests and laying out some level of expectation that the party should consider doing at least one...

Jacob: Okay, let's pack up and leave now! No need to discuss this.

IKR!

Well, hopefully that was gentle enough not to anger the toddler. ;)

Firm, yes.

I liked it!

Seems your toddler gloves weren't actually soft enough Nate. Time to break out the baby gloves!

I mean, I guess it's an improvement. At least he didn't just leave his whining on display in the game forum. That's progress, right? Though I am curious now what justification he tried to make for disregarding a clear setup introduced by the DM.

Also waiting for him to actually engage with the narrative, but feeling like he is going to mope-out of the current narrative until we get back to the narrative part that he finds important enough.

Yeah, he's ready to get to the part that involves him so this isn't interesting I bet.

Now how to make parts that interest him, lol.

Let's put him in a situation where he's got to act like he's the head of a harem lmao!

Or we could just play the game like it's not centered around him... sorry, being a buzzkill again. lol

You are far from a buzzkill, he's the buzzkill right now lol

Did you make a bet with Jacob that I missed? Or were you tipping the bard? lol

LOL! Kitty and I have been scheming as to how to engage Jacob on the quests that were originally aimed at pitting themselves against his quest. I was so excited when he actually took the bait. I am glad you are entertained. Kitty keeps after me to tell her more about her quest, but I'm teasing her by not telling her anything. Now to work on your quest, Stormy, lol.

I was tipping the bard lmao! Every time he sings, it makes me think of the bard that followed Geralt around in The Witcher, so I hear the song "Toss a Coin to your Witcher" every time he posts that he's singing. So I've decided to toss him a coin every time he just breaks out in song now lol.

I thought about riding in a bit about passing a copper over to him, just to be snarky. But I decided not to stoke that fire.

You are going to go broke...

OMG. One step forward, two steps backwards. I regret complimenting Jacob on making progress towards being a team player.

OMG you were expecting miracles? lol

Well, that may not have been as gentle a touch as I should have used, but Good Lord, get over yourself man!

Doubt he contains that skill. We need D&D version 5.5e so that we can have humility as a skill. No doubt he'd have a negative modifier for it.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Seriously Jacob? I feel like he did that on purpose. To spite those of us that wanted to pursue the other quests.

He certainly lost patience and just blurted out an general answer without any equivocation, only to say he wanted to go play with his Priestess. "enough of this stupid stuff, DM, I want to lay down song lyrics."

You know what I said to Jacob? "Be a goddamn witty and deceptive bard of spies and intrigue. Let the impatient, brute force approach be Kon's. BTW where is Kon?"

What I really want to say is "Jacob rushes through the gate and sees before him the mastermind behind all of Maztica's woes. He flies to him and stabs him in the eye with his dagger. The villian dies, spurting blood and spitting out a final, impotent curse to him, 'I would have gotten away with it too, except for that meddling bard." THE END."

You know, if your character is all perfect like yourself, then there really is no room for growth or self knowledge. This is how Jacob Vane should be immortalized in the canon of DnD for all time: "A perfect and all knowing character who didn't need anyone or anything more than himself."

Let me tell you how I feel...

I just can't care about his feelers when he's being this obtuse.

Oh my god Nate! Every part of me just loved what you wrote! Before I even realized it, I was actually going, "OOOhhhh buuuurn!"

An accurate portrayal of my face when I saw it lol

Seriously though. I feel like he did it on purpose, cause he was throwing a fit cause we didn't want to leave when he wanted to (okay, sorry, another fit), and thought he was being sneaky about how he did it. So I felt like it needed to be called out.

He is making a villian of himself.

Nate, Thomas and I already had that convo last night:

Re: Ring of Mind Sheilding
FROM
LyricTimeless
WHEN
November 22, 2020 8:48 pm
They are asking you to submit to the zone without doing the save. Thus you have to tell the truth, maybe not the whole truth, but not a lie. They do not need to determine whether you are lying or know your alignment.
Re: Ring of Mind Sheilding

from JacobVane on November 22, 2020 6:54 pm

to LyricTimeless
But isn't the fact that no one can determine whether I am lying or know my alignment part of the magic? Sounds like it.
Re: Ring of Mind Sheilding

from LyricTimeless on November 22, 2020 5:10 pm

to JacobVane
The Zone of Truth does not probe your mind. It only prevents lying:

It is a magical zone that guards against deception in a 15-foot-radius sphere centered on a point of your choice within range.
Ring of Mind Sheilding

from JacobVane on November 22, 2020 4:10 pm

to LyricTimeless
Before approaching the knight, I use an action to make this ring invisible.
When I sign the document, remember I'm wearing this:
Ring of Mind Shielding
While wearing this ring, you are immune to magic that allows other creatures to read your thoughts, determine whether you are lying, know your alignment, or know your creature type. Creatures can telepathically communicate with you only if you allow it.
You can use an action to cause the ring to become invisible until you use another action to make it visible, until you remove the ring, or until you die.

He as a person, yes. His character is heading in that direction though.

Honestly, there was a reason when I posted as Kit that I emphasized choosing my words carefully. To point out the obvious fact that we all needed to say that we didn't have contraband when we all knew that we had contraband... How did he miss that?!

and he did what he did anyway. it felt like he did it to spite me, to prove that I was wrong about the magic

Voluntarily submitting to telling the truth doesn't mean that your ring will keep them from knowing that you're lying... If you give up your rights by saying you don't want a piece of cake, you can't bitch and moan because you didn't get a slice despite cutting the piece you wanted.

I don't think he cared. he was careless almost like Nate said, he did it on purpose. he already had a ruling from me that his ring didnt affect the zone of truth. i can't believe it. now it is up tot he party to cover his arrogance

If he speaks again, I'm going to completely do something that'll probably piss him off.

I decided to give Jacob a lesson in talking around something with truths. It's even annotated. I was practically an Aes Sedai (if you know the Wheel of Time series at all).

I don't, but I see what you did. I was actually hoping that Caine speaking up would be okay since I didn't have her sign anything, therefore, she hasn't "technically" agreed to the zone of truth. Honestly, it's up to Rod how much we've covered Jacob's dumbassery. I'm just waiting to catch a situation where he opens his mouth again because I want to cast Suggestion on him so badly and tell him to stfu.

LOL. That would be hilarious. But probably also suspicious looking (to the guards). We'll see how the guards (DM) take it, and hopefully not have to find out how much of a fit Jacob would throw if someone tried to shut him up. haha.

Well, the DM has spoken. And pointed out my failure to comprehend the simple text "which he does." Also my ass making out of u and me. But I thought it was quite adept double-speak! Still. FAIL.

Not a fail at all! You still had a good point, even if it was a little off.

damn, we need a like button here. I like all y'all comments ,lol!

This is definitely turning out to be a most interesting gate scene...

BAHAHAHAHA! The DM version of persuasion! Sorry Rod, I know you were probably tapping that out on your phone, but that was funny.

Oh, and I tip my hat to you, Rod, for editing Jacob's mental message.

Maybe this whole thing could have been avoided if you had instead said that when Jacob opened his mouth to say "No contraband", the only noise that came out was a squawking sound as if he had turned into a chicken.

OMG, next time, Nate! I'm doing that.

I know he probably was typing in a rush, but it was too amusing and I'm very much in a "little shit" mode. One of the side effects of getting on my soap box and preaching about technicalities. My essay assignments usually end up with me typing at least a full paragraph on "Well technically, this can't be determined without this information because of that reason as you can see from the text cited here." By the time I'm done, I'm usually pretty sassy lol.

Hey Mr. DM man, you make the rules, you could always erase the past few moments of the story and replace your handling of his original intentional failed fib. I think that would be fine with the rest of us. Rule #1!

Ah technicalities. I was looking for something to shift the gate entry into something more desperate. I’ll pass on the history rewrite Nate. You are stuck with it lol. It’s my way of being a little shit lol.

Well, Kon and Caine seem to have managed to avoid signing that sheet.

oh no, remember? Jacob narated that everyone signed the sheet, lol.

Fucking Jacob... my whole concept was that Caine didn't have to...

ha! no matter. the zone was only 15 feet wide at the gate. i mean, what a riot it would be if a whole city was under a zone of truth!?!

Good thing it's not, Kit would've said a lot of things I think instead of her lol

Shit. He did do that, didn't he? What an asshat.

Glad I didn't notice, I probably would've whined about someone else choosing what my character did, just to be a bit petty.

I almost made a post on the game table to ask people to do their best to not narrate the actions of other players, no matter how much they want to move things along. Maybe suggest it as a new "house rule." But at times, I will narrate a small action or another of someone else, when it seems appropriate in the context of what I'm doing. I do try to make sure that it's not something that is any sort of decision-making action, though.

On another note, I'm wondering why the DM has ignored both my and Kili's wonderings about collecting the "angel's share." Not that I'm greedy, but some healing potions would be nice to have available, especially with Skinweaver parked.

I think he didn’t notice. The forums has been a lot of work for him lately, sorry!

Oh I thought you were joking around. You know that the angel's share is what evaporates from the barrel? Good luck catching it before the angels do, lmao

Oh. I thought that was a share of the value of the task. I obviously had no idea what it was. I thought there was some sort of payment for the task, but also... Storm would have done it without a payout.

Decided to go for suggesting the new rule in the forum after Jacob started narrating our actions again so soon. It wasn't a big narrative, but we were in the middle of deciding which inn to go to, and he's already gathering us together at an inn at the end of the night?

My apologies, I have spent way too much time on Scotch and Tequila distillery tours back when I was a globe trotter and tipsey hotel owner.

Well, I think someone is trying to edge me out of the game or something. I may have pushed a little too hard.

WHAAAAAT? No hurry? Since when? You've been rushing us forward this whole time, but there's no hurry? I'm so confused. Somebody is suffering from temporary bipolar disorder.

I'm just shaking my head... I'm too focused on Kit's side mission with Duke to be upset with him lol.

That's okay, at least I managed to keep him from cutting me out of the game. At least, I think I did.

I told Rod earlier tonight just wait and see how pissed he is when Kit and Duke aren't there in the morning like he'd planned for them to be. We'll be the ones he cuts out lol.

Okay, Rod says there was something I was supposed to react to, but I'm not seeing it. It might be because I've had a headache all day. What did I not catch in the last bit of dialogue?

I'll thank Storm for glossing over it, lol

Once again, Jacob is sharing with us how he will rewrite the story when he sings of it. Sigh.

Also, curse you, Mr. DM Man. I know you like the drama, and the vagaries you seem to think we could magically understand, but there is no way that any of us actually know who the heck we are supposed to be attacking here. This is madness, pure and simple. We'd be just as well to just vacate the pyramid as stay and fight, for all I know.

Kon and Duke and Caine are focused on the monster, a threat to all. Kit is vacillating between confronting a false prophet of Uhti, assuming Kiltzi's peace and having Duke take down the vampire, but has chosen to taken down the vampire. Jacob wants to gloriously defend Guenaver. You want to fight back against the invading and standing conquerors, the Silver Order. It seems that everyone has a very clear idea of their place in the struggle for Nexal. There are no more significant factions in Nexal than this. Only one faction is left out and direct battle is not their game.

I applaud your ability to focus on one target in this larger struggle. I have placed no odds on who will win. I doubt any will. There is not a right or wrong answer here to noodle out. The party determines who wins and loses.

If you wish simpler battles, try to stay out of the Capitol of all Maztica and its embroiled politics. I could have just as easily set up a conflict with clear alliances and then tell you that you were doing the bidding of another that you did not agree with. Here I have laid them all out.

I must needs keep the outlander quests simpler and more direct, as well as keeping the larger story arch a more pure battle between good and evil.

Sorry. I didn't mean to be so whiney. Life is rarely as simple as black and white, as I am fond of saying on facebook. So... yeah. Just ignore my little pity-party fit that I threw because I couldn't figure out the "right" thing to do. Life is messy.

I appreciate the inspired edit of my post, Rod. I completely forgot that I could dismiss the web. Sigh.

Ha ha! Don’t mention it! It seemed easier to and faster to add that as something you would have done at the table if I had been there to nudge you as the DM.

FYI, I'm not pooh-poohing the storyline. I appreciate it. I'm just not sure that Storm has a part to play in this particular scenario, or that he's in a state of mind to contribute.

No offense taken. I just posted as Guen asking what you, the heroes desire. Hopefully that provokes some conversation as to what the individual members of the party want to do.

Kit holds the Wand of Azul so I know she want to use that to find Elena.

Kon wants to right the Pyramid of the Gods, but I can’t seem to get him motivated to speak of it.

Storm wants to learn more about his prophesy but doesn’t seem to know how or find out. Kitty and I have plans for giving you a more defined quest but need to leave Nexal for that.

Jacob has a quest and plenty of opportunity for dialogue but seems to be quiet for a change. Hopefully he wakes up and starts talking.

I do realize we seem to have spent over a month on a single battle, but I have had all the themes going at once. I’m half way through this particularly quest. Besides one more surprise, I’m ready to settle into moving into the second half.

The bitch has to die.

LOL, could you be more specific.

The vampire bitch has to die? Is that more specific? Lol

Hoping that wasn't too pointed of a suggestion that Jacob could focus on field management spells, rather than attack spells. I'm still struggling to decide what to do with the fact that my Swarmkeeper conclave now has two definitions. I really want to pick and choose which definition to use for each conclave level feature, cause some are awesome in one, and others are awesome in the other one. lol.

I see nothing. I hear nothing...

I tried hard to allude to that in my post. I’m hoping he gets the message without getting upset.

So... do y'all think Sparky will go over well as an updated nickname for Kon? Short for Sparky McSparkface.

Might do better than Yak Sack Breath.

Sparky, Dwarf of Thunder makes me laugh.

I get the feeling that the nickname thing bothers Jacob (the person, not the character) much more than he lets on. But... it's part of Storm's character, his background, so I'm sticking to it. Also, I was quite proud of Poet Lordyhat (a play off of poet laureate).

And Hualtzi is always there to turn Sparky's nickname into something pure and lofty. She cares less for Jacob, though. lol.

Thank you for saving me the embarrassment. Literally 7 posts later and I already forgot Kon wasn't there. Not to mention, that when I read that, I was thinking... how does Jacob not know where Kon is? when I read that post. Sigh.

Is Jacob going through a phase again? Kit will slap him without a care and blame pregnancy hormones easily.

Jacob has been messaging me about characters. He actually thinks Jacob is funny and he says he laughs at Jacob all the time. I am trying to have a heart to heart with him and say that he should be less snarky at others expense. He ignore me and twists it into me wanting him to be more snarky. Sigh. The guy is cruel and oblivious to other people. It’s no wonder he is how is in RL. So yeah, Kitty, could you bitch slap him?

He wants to play a second character, but I remind him he isn’t even playing the bard yet or the spy master, or the joker. I should park Jacob and let him be the archer in back with Kon swinging in front. Are there other intelligent players out there like you two?

Dude. We know you have a lot in your plate. Storm is cute. Go with it.

God help us. Now He is doing as I say instead of taking me seriously. Sorry for the bad jokes.

I both feel bad and am so damn amused with myself for Kit’s action! And no complaints, I love bad jokes.

Actually have to admit along with Storm. Those jokes weren’t bad...

I hope you don't take offense at my comments, Rod. I just felt like we were all getting heated and reading into things. And I missed some of the conversation that happened over here to give it context. I understand your frustration, but see how Jacob was feeling about your comment. So I tried to play the "let's all take some of the blame" game.

By the gods, I sometimes hate being DM and babysitter...

TITLE
Re: Funny Thing
FROM
JacobVane
WHEN
January 30, 2021 5:38 pm
Ok, I'm laughing in RL now. It's all good. Let's just move on with the game. ;)
Re: Funny Thing

from LyricTimeless on January 30, 2021 5:25 pm

to JacobVane
Dude, I'm not talking about overarching plot. I'm just talking about interacting with the other characters and reading the scene and the clues and the puzzles I am presenting. You spent so much energy outside of the waterworks not doing anything because you weren't reading my descriptions that I kept repeating. Now you are sitting down wondering what to do, when there is a common speaking character in a hut, a village of clues and a trail to a gully. Shall I construct a neon sign to point to things to do?
Re: Funny Thing

from JacobVane on January 30, 2021 5:06 pm

to LyricTimeless
I did come up with the whole, go to my father bit. I came up with going to the temple earlier. I did want to go to the castle, but duke let me off. So I've been following him.

In the past, the DM came up with a dungeon and characters reacted. So in this case, I'll have to adjust my mind.
Re: Funny Thing

from LyricTimeless on January 30, 2021 4:55 pm

to JacobVane
I commented thus, because you said something was impossible to do. I said it wasn't impossible. Try.

I understand moody. I've been married for a couple of dozen years. But you are also a hero and a team player and a sensitive person who is smarter than the average bear and can puzzle and lead and get things done as an individual and as a team. You can color the character and be a moody character if you want, but unless you want to sit back and do very little like James, then I suggest you apply yourself to the game. Everyone including me would applaud those efforts, even if they fail, and then we would all have a laugh too, because even fantastic skills sometimes fall on their face. DnD is a game. There has to chance involved, or it gets predictable and boring.

I have opened the game up to more players, because there just isn't any action or follow through being taken on even simple scenarios like this one we are in. We need more ideas being put forward. Kitty is one to jump in and do something even if she has no clue or if it is safe. That moves the story along.

I can't write the story. Duke cannot do that, either. He's an NPC. Storm is distracted in real life. Kon doesn't at all. You should more, but spend more time talking about being a character rather than acting like a character. Kitty can't be the only one to move the plot along. That's all I am saying. This game is stagnant without players doing things. Watch any fantasy movie you like. It's fast paced action and comic situations.
Re: Funny Thing

from JacobVane on January 30, 2021 4:33 pm

to LyricTimeless
I was under the impression I was writing my story and playing off of MPC's and party members alike as good or better than anyone. It always seems like code is a bit lost, but I know he's not played much. I'm not sure if you're saying you want me to do something else, but I don't feel lacking with Jacob or how he's played. He is a bit moody, but he's a blues bard.
Re: Funny Thing

from LyricTimeless on January 30, 2021 12:54 pm

to JacobVane
But you may play one NPC against each other. I do all the time. The Captain and Guen and the Red Dancer and Innkeeper of the Faun, all are at cross purposes. Storm and Kitty constantly play their characters even though they as players know otherwise. Kitty is always knowing more than Kitsune, whether from open text or conversations in subforums or discord. It matters not. The point is to write a story with characters that know only what the story gives them. Duke is constantly doing stupid stuff and saying incorrect things, but he believes them to be true and right.
Funny Thing

from JacobVane on January 29, 2021 9:33 pm

to LyricTimeless
Funny thing is, when I was younger, I was much like Kon in that D&D was about the battles and treasure. Now, I could care less about the treasure other that if it affects xp for leveling up, and the battles can be ok, but they are interludes between the real fire, which is the interaction between people, the verbal sparing and trying to figure out the story and plots.
That long temple battle went on for days but our visit to the temple was far too short. I could have stayed there a week plotting and scheming and maneuvering behind the scenes. I know it's too difficult to manage a whole party for all that, and it really doesn't work because you have to play so many parts. For instance, I can't play Guen against the blue priest, or zelda, or even Glorfindel, because you play all of them. Can't be deceptive if you know the plot. Plus, we tend to type everything in public chat.

Anyway, I do enjoy the battles, too, now that I have more powerful spells and don't have to just lob firebolts until we can get to the next story point. I suppose I never thought about all those battle tricks because I'm so focused on the story of the prince. Not that that is a bad thing to me, it's what keeps me tuning in.

I gotta be honest, I wasn't sure how to proceed once we came out of the portal. But Jacob has to go all snarky about it. Sorry man. We all do appreciate the efforts you go to in crafting the world / larger plot elements.

Try to remember, though... it's hard for us to know what parts of your scene setting is just visual, and what parts are things to be investigated. What's obvious to you is not always obvious to us. Especially me. It's rarely obvious to me. Because I do not have a typical brain. lol.

My bad. I do know that you do not know. That's what exploration is about. Figuring out the puzzle. Fleshing out the scene. I've already added things to the scene based on the players' conversations with themselves. Its collaborative.

You figured out who should lose and who should win at the temple. There are no rails, but there are a lot of options. There is not a single answer. If there were, I would not play with players and I would just write a book all by myself. The limitation of players and of me is that you have to roll the dice, so then, no one knows where the story might go.

I keep expecting players to say, "I look here" "I pick up that" "I talk to the man speaking broken common and cursing by Helm" "Hey, what does this button do?"

Jacob pushed my button, when he said this is impossible. I'm the best player. I'm playing brilliantly, but.... I can't do anything because of the dice. I listened to your NPC. I'll just sit here until the DM tells me what to do. I want another character to run so I can do the same nothing.

I shouldn't have been snarky. I apologize for ruining your experience of the game by it.

You didn't ruin the experience for me! My lack of ability to visualize gives me trouble, but it's not ruined.

I don't flesh out the scene with details other than what is given, and sometimes I dismiss things as just scene-setting elements and don't even consider investigating them. And, like I said, I don't mind the "off the rails" approach. It wasn't what I was expecting, but I'm getting used to it, and I appreciate how it develops the story.

Moreover what I meant was that I was lost when we stepped out. I had a scene described to me, but I had no idea where in that scene we were even supposed to be going. Part of that is probably because I didn't pay enough attention to the dialog when I was scrambling to catch up in previous chapters of the story. So that's my bad. I don't want you to tell me what my character needs to do, but if we start to stall out, some hints are appreciated. :)

Jacob's impossible thing was an overreaction, for sure. I was quite confused at him yelling "Run" after entering the hut. His reaction didn't make sense to me. But it made sense to him. I play cautiously, he plays boldly. I would have preferred to do some talking before we tried to enter, but... it is what it is. He says he likes the parts between the battles, but seems to act rashly and assume that he understands everything instantly. At least to me. Of course, I err on the opposite and slow things down too much.

I was hoping that, maybe, my contribution might have jogged him to understand that there wasn't black and white answers. When Duke responded with devil's advocate statements, it didn't mean that his suggestion was wrong. Just that there are risks and benefits to everything, and they should be considered.

I'm really sorry if I made you feel like you were not doing a good job as a DM, or that you were failing me. I have my own challenges with this type of game, and I was expressing how I struggle. I didn't mean to say that you didn't know that we didn't know what was important. I just meant that... sometimes we might need a nudge.

Like with the hut, that definitely helped. I was hoping to continue investigating that situation, but my absence left a lot to happen in the interim, and Kit went inside, so I figured that I shouldn't interfere. And, as an aside, it bothered me to no end that Jacob proceeded with dialog based on the information that Kit had gained, but had not shared. Kinda like his jab with Storm's given name because he doesn't like the nicknames. And apparently he decided that changing his profile picture will make Bluebard no longer applicable? I'm not going to retroactively change everything that's happened so far, and the nickname is part of that, so it's staying. Though I was trying to give him an opportunity to give feedback on what a new nickname could be, and he just got all snippy.

I'm resigned to the fact that Thomas is going to misconstrue, edit, rewrite, snip, snap, ignore everything we do. I'll continue to nudge you my friend. You and Kitty are smart enough to make the story interesting no matter how vague I make the scene.

I've invited other players to join to broaden the play and dilute Jacob's disruptive behaviors. I'm screening them. Hey Kitty, DeJoker applied. Lol, he's not invited.

I apologize to you both for my own post. I let the frustration of my own affect how I responded to the situation happening in the forums. We do appreciate all your hard work Rod. And as always, I'll do my best to keep Jacob in line too so it's a little less on you.

I saw your post haha. Completely fuck DeJoker joining lol. I saw oddtrails wanted in, he'd probably be a good addition! He's the DM for my new Neverland campaign and honestly, I like what I see so far! :D

You might want to write a "here's what you've missed" too so they aren't completely out of the loop. I wouldn't want to read 333 pages of chatting, battles, and drama.

I completely understand your frustration and was not offended at all by your post. It did wake me up to my own fault though in the exchange, lol. Thanks. Keep me in line. I don't want to stoop to creating drama in this game. It is an escape for us all. Fantasy is where we can solve our problems and be heroes with little to no consequences. Yeah!

In-game drama is okay, Rod! Also, I have no idea what those interesting features actually were for (if there was an intended interpretation) but I decided to throw a crazy interpretation in to see what happened. Sorry if it was going too far.

You are close! But of course, BlueBard insists on changing the interpretation and goes WAY off base. lmao

I am getting my frustrations with Thomas out on DeJoker. Gawd, he's a pompous ass and can't take no for an answer, because he's the best that ever was.

Lmao what did Joker say?

FROM
DeJoker
WHEN
January 31, 2021 5:20 pm
No you do not have to discriminate at all and as for a role player I would doubt you would find anyone much better than I am -- I have played nearly everything imaginable -- and know how to work with a group of players very well. However, if you wish to make the mistake of totally misjudging me that is your prerogative.
Re: Magical Maztica - 5e

from LyricTimeless on January 31, 2021 11:39 am

to DeJoker
Perhaps, but I have to discriminate applicants somehow. I only have two spots.

Wow. Just... wow. You really have to wonder what happens in a person's life for them to end up that conceited...

You should see him as a DM. He makes rule nazis look like criminal masterminds they have never obeyed a rule in their life. I didn’t even get a character made for the campaign I tried go join. Despite telling him that I’m still very new, he provided no clear assistance when asked for it and roadblocks constantly to my character’s creation and background. I couldn’t with him at all.

Sounds like he is compensating for a low-self-esteem issue, but in a very bad way.

Hey Nate, did Jacob send you an apology DM out of curiosity?

It doesn't look like it. Why?

He sent me one to me, I wasn’t sure if he’d tried to apologize to everyone.

ah. well, playing peacemaker this time around, I didn't receive anything worth apologizing for? lol

Fair enough. I doubt he'll be apologizing to me in the future much, I wasn't exactly nice about my response.

He does need to learn that an apology doesn't mean much if you don't change your ways. And that being funny is okay, but being an ass is not, even if you think the ass is funny.

(a lesson I sometimes forget)

Positive reinforcement of Jacob doing some field manipulation... yay Jacob!

[/quote]

You are letting him off easy. I wanted to blast him for this.

Wait, I’m not going to lie, I’ve been skipping over the ooc lately because there’s so much of it. Tell me he didn’t say that...

His name is Thomas. Of course he said that, not to Storm, but to Code.

So... this is probably terrible, but I really wanted to ask in the game if there was a maztican god of vanity, cause that would be a great fit for Bluebard being an avatar of...

I'm playing peacemaker of late, for some reason. And, honestly, I wasn't that surprised. He tends to think that manipulation is the only approach to narratives, and I don't. I like the idea of reasoning with people. I like the idea of exploring the intricacies of moral dilemmas such as this. I guess I see the NPCs as full characters in the story, whereas Jacob sees them as obstacles? That's probably simplifying it too much, but... yeah. I decided to just let that one go.

He's not wrong, though. I'm not prone to interest in manipulating people. Though... I did want to call out the last time we had to bullshit our way through a truth zone and how well that went for him. But again, I'm playing peacemaker for some reason. That being said, Storm handled dancing around the truth much better than Jacob did. lol

Omg. You are incredible Code. I see your point. And I love Godslayer being the peacemaker lmao.

I love it too since I don’t feel like being peace keeper right now truly. And you truly are incredible!

I don't know about incredible... I'm plenty flawed and have fanned the flames of anger quite a bit much in the past. But I'm glad to relieve you of the role for a bit, Kili. It's a burden that should be shared. :)

I do hope that you don't feel like I'm taking Jacob's side in things against you at all, Rod. Just trying to disarm Jacob a little by making sure that he doesn't feel "cornered." I totally get your frustrations with him.

Did Jacob really try to take over as the DM last night, or was that just how I read his "song" history lesson? I didn't have time to read it last night and just read it this morning.

Also, what an arse about the chalice.

Well, I hope that long post doesn't go over like a bag of bricks.

I gave Jacob the lore story which he rewrote in his own words. That was planned.

The rest of the opera that is Jacob has infuriated me beyond belief, especially how he talks down to you and Kitty. We have had so many IM flying about how I handle his character, that I'm done. Kitty said she isn't coming back to the gamers table for a while.

I wrote Thomas directly and told him he is an ass, and I said everything up and until the point of asking him to quit. I have sent private msgs to oddtales and ancient, asking how they feel.

I want to get everyone's input, but I have pretty much decided I don't need someone like Thomas in my life and that I am going to uninvite him to the game. James will go too I'm pretty sure in support of Thomas.

Kitty had convinced me not to do this many many times, but I'm done.

Jacob and I have been chatting. He’s oblivious. I’ve asked him to leave the game.

OMG! I was searching google for some Maztica lore and I came across this. I was reading it, going this sounds familiar. i like this lore. It fits my world! Then I did a face palm... I posted this last June on a Maztica World Building forum:

Nature based magic of Maztica
Post by Rod Collins » Sun Jun 28, 2020 6:27 pm

We all know pluma and hishna magic and then there is the sea magic. Should there not be more? Particularly from Plutoq or Watil or Ehe?

Actually where I am going with this is how Maztica magic is so different from the weave of Faerun. Where the weave treats everything as a flow of magic, the pluma-weaver or the hishna-shaper enhances the natural magic of feathers and claws. I believe it is justified to believe Fairyza when he says that The True People in Maztica do not distinguish divinity of the gods with a banality of things. To a Maztica, he states, "everything is divine, but some things are more potent in their Divinity than others."

As such, a Faerunian chops a tree and makes a ship's mast and uses magic to make it straight or to mend it when it is broken. To a Faerunian, the boat is a banal object, devoid of life and divinity, and is simply an inconvenience when broken, its dead mast broken by a thoughtless sea. They pray to the Divine Gods to defeat this dead boat or protect them against the lifeless sea.

A Maztican would approach the tree and think of the boat in a much different way. He would approach the divinity of the tree and coax out a mast and guided its shape into a mast that forms the living and divine embodiment of the gods that will fashion the boat to move in the ever changing seas. The boat itself would be divine and may grow into a new shape to serve the True People or negotiate the True Sea. Design of such an object, indeed all of the architecture and urban planning of the True World would be a result of constant prayer and respect.

From that, all of Maztica would look different. After Cordell came with his floating houses, the True World saw for the first time, nature subjugated by men and were understandably confused. As the True World copies this technology, they would not forget their worship of the divinity in all things. They would craft ships from the divinity trees, make hardware from divine stone and metal, lash with living rope. The designs would be organic. They would be infused with the vitality of nature and the divine worship of the craftsmen and sailors.

As I thought this through, I imagined the cities of the True World being also organic. This notion is in much contrast to the stone ruins in the jungle photographs we have in history books. Would not a stone magic craftsman be able to produce beautiful stone buildings carved by Azul of growing and flowing stone to shelter his people? Should not a woodman be able to grow trees shaped by Ehe for shelter rather than chop them down? I have started to search for images and draw and sketch such a civilization. The possibilities for discovery in game of these are astounding.

I'm so sorry Kili. I was quite mad at Jacob for the "schooling" he tried (and failed) to give you. And I hope you know that I was not, at all, calling you out with my response. I was trying to be "impartial" so I didn't trigger Jacob further, so I tried to play the middle ground. I think you handled it well, and he did not. He was WAY out of line. I hope you can come back to the game table soon.

Rod, I'm sorry that he's being an ass. But he gives me the vibes of someone who retcons reality (in their mind) such that they never ever do anything wrong, and so cannot admit to having crossed lines. But I know he's a really old friend, so I hope you can smooth things out. I hate to see him go, because he does add some good elements to the storyline (when he's not being an ass), but I understand your reasoning.

I'm about to jump back on the main game table to catch up, but I finally got a good night's sleep last night (by sleeping through the morning). So I missed a lot of the latest drama. I'm hopeful that we can move forward and continue to have a fun time in the game table.

You are perfectly fine. I just took yesterday away, that’s all. I’m so easily short tempered right now, I didn’t want to fan the flames with Jacob’s message about me past what I private messaged him. I honestly skipped over all of the ooc that came after it in a desire to not let that frustration spark again so nothing you said offended me. Because honestly, I didn’t read it lol.

I will read the big text idea Rod in a little bit!

All good Kili. I really enjoy you being part of the game, so I wanted to make sure that I didn't come across as admonishing you at all. You know I know how hard it has been to deal with Jacob's attitude. But no worries about taking a day off... it was a shit-show yesterday.

Had a random thought, Rod. In regards to when you rewrite some stuff written by others to address inaccuracies or flaws. You could use the "color" tag to denote what got changed/corrected, so it is more clear that it wasn't necessarily what the player actually wrote. Maybe the color red, like a teacher marking it up, lol.

I like that idea honestly!

Ah the rainbow color coalition here lmao.

This makes me feel sooo much better:

TITLE
Re: Sorry
FROM
BattleaxeBiff
WHEN
February 27, 2021 8:45 pm
Hey Rod, thanks for writing. I'd much rather talk one on one as I've never liked having to go through someone else. There were a few things you did in the pass that definitely irritated me, but probably not as much as Tommy led on. I've never wanted to be a DM because of all the things you have to keep up with and with the platform we are using, I know it is doubly hard. Overall, I think you've been doing a great job.

As far as Tommy goes, I've seen this coming for some time and am surprised, actually, that it has taken this long for things to come to a head. You are correct, he doesn't see how what he says bothers people. He always says he is hard to offend when in truth he one of the most easily offended people I know. Ramona, Bobby, and I have talked about it many times and agree you have to walk on eggshells when around Tommy. There are so many things I would love to say to him, but I know how he will react so I just let it go, but it is very hard to do sometimes.

I am enjoying my new house very well, thank you, and what I said above about Tommy is one of the reasons I bought this house. I will have no problem continuing on without him and will probably enjoy it much more. There were several times when I would check in and see nothing but Tommy and Code going back and forth for pages so I would log off for awhile. That was one of the reasons I would not be around sometimes; I would just get tired of it.

Rest easy with your decision to let him go. I can't blame you one bit. I enjoy playing Kon and hope to continue doing so.

Even his own brother... I’m glad he’s finally going to genuinely participate.

Well, to be fair, we'd switched those rolls by the time our new people joined. They have no idea Kit was the peacekeeper for so long lol. It's okay, I can just blame it on her pregnancy and go from there lol.

And I was the one getting passive aggressive. Thomas wrote me a four page email that he was fine, and then proceeded to list every complaint and slight and name that he had to endue throughout time, how many times he had to walk on eggshells around everyone and have them blow up on him for not appreciating his humor, and how every time I corrected him or enforced a rule against him, and finally said he declared he will never play DnD with anyone again.

For all the players and DM's in the world, I hope that last is true...

Just so Code knows, you did try to stop me from booting Jacob this time too... for about a second.

I applaud you for being able to put up with an email like that. His guilt trip would've worked on me too well. I should've started calling him Jake or Jakie just to add one more undesired nickname to the list... I thought about it, but decided to pick and choose my pettiness.

Yeah... that empathetic side kicks in and goes "maybe we should reconsider this..." But we have new peoples now and I really like Oddtrails so I don't want him chased off because Thomas doesn't know how to behave.