Kestrel's reminder makes my eyes sting and the back of my throat constrict. I've lost friends, siblings, cousins and children into the care of the Gray Wing. Lost isn't the right term, as we subvert death and reclaim it as an honorable rite. But whereas the departure of an adult is full of both sorrow and joy, the death of a child is always tormenting. Mortality rates are high for the young ones. Infants are hard to care for. That's not what Kestrel is referring to, but I think about the babes that never got the chance to take flight with the Talons.
Mynah and I had a little boy, Ouzel, who drowned in an accident ten years ago. Sandpiper was my other daughter with Kestrel. She almost made it to ten years. She died in the boating accident that also took my mother. At least she was ushered in to the afterlife with a guide.
Small comfort. Two other children didn't make it past eighteen months. Disease of some kind stole them.
I take a deep breath and breathe out a deeper sigh.
"I don't. He may have not wanted to." I'm reminded that Helix turned down my offer for her to come stay with us. I wonder where she is now? I cut off that query in my mind and continue.
"Our way can be too much for some people. Too odd or too dangerous. They don't understand how fragile and empty life outside of a family truly is."
I caress the back of her head gently.
"I too worry, Kes. Some wounds take us to the edge of despair and make the jump look more enticing than risking another heartache. Do you...do you ever wish we had tried again...after Plover?"
Last edited February 25, 2023 11:17 pm