Ice Skating

Amelie dons a fuzzy brown hat and a puffy pink coat! They button it to the top.

"Such beauty. When the outdoors is covered in snow, everything looks so… clean!"

And this could only mean…

Well, obviously it means…

You see…

It…

Obviously…


"What am I supposed to be doing?"

Amelie seeks Parish for an answer. Or a messy kitchen. Then they needn’t even ask…

~•~

To avoid making a drippy mess, Amelie walks around the B&B, admiring their evenly space footprints in the snow!

Once outside the kitchen, they rap on the window.

Parish is wearing a long scarf. His coat is a hand-knit tunic designed to be reminiscent of his old knight's armour, but instead gives the unfortunate impression of a gray bathrobe. Worried about the cold, he has stuffed his large hands into mittens that were not made for frog hands and leave his long fingers bunched uncomfortably - but it's better than frostbite!

"Alas, a knight must endure some discomfort for the good of the realm," he mutters to himself, psyching himself up for the exertion to come. "Or a frog for the good of his fingers!"

Amelie is surprised by Parish’s outfit. "Are you manning the outdoor grill, or it is possible…"

Amelie recalls how Hey Kid likes to do the cooking sometimes.

The robo-maid’s eyes flicker in surprise. Or perhaps delight? Anticipation? A craving!

"Is it possible that you and I have the day off?"

Gertrude is wearing a brightly colored puffy coat as she walks out into the snow, on a shoulder are a pair of ice skates. It's been awhile since she's seen snow or even had a chance to play in it. She remembers a time before the Bed and Breakfast a time that somehow hurts her heart but, there's also a memory of skating on ice as graceful as a ballerina. She wants to feel that again and so she plans to go to the forzen over pond. Before she can move anywhere though, the bright white reflects the sun so brightly that she pulls out a pair of cool shades. Now she's perfectly prepared to be out here in this lovely day.

She steps further out and is just in time to hear that Amelie and Parish have the day off. Maybe they might like to be her friends too? So, she comes closer to them and says carefully. "There's a pond close by. It's probably frozen over if you two want to go ice skating with me?"

Viv is already by the frozen pond. She is dressed in a baggy, oversized black hoodie that could hold two of her. Her jeans are already damp and slick with water though come to think of it, her jeans are always damp and slick with water. She has a comically overlong scarf wrapped around her. Oh wait. A second look reveals it to be her hair, bound in spots with brightly colored hair-ties, and wrapped around her like a scarf.

Viv crouches down and places her hand on the frozen surface of the pond. It feels so weird to see the ice below her instead of above.

Sal skates past Viv, giving her a grin as he passes. The cold air of the beautiful winter’s day fills the night porter with chill vibes, and he breathes deeply, delighting in the feel of the crisp air in his lungs. He is dressed in a thick flannel shirt and snow pants, the wind teasing his thick hair about.

"My fingers will go numb if I try to play my guitar out here, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find my groove!" Sal says with a chuckle. "Plus, I’ll take any excuse to slack off from my daily duties. Not that they’re too strenuous, though. In fact, I don’t do a lot of work most days. But, anyway, it’s the principle of the matter!"

Seeing some of the other residents huddling by the B&B’s kitchen, he gives them a wave and invites them over!

Amelie looks at Gertrude, then at Parish, then over to the pond where Sal is waving and Viv is on her water instead of in it!

They again turn to Gertrude.

—and they think the command phrase: Skates on!

"Very well, Gertrude. I will gladly ska… oh, error."

Amelie looks down at their feet. There are bright pinkish-orangey wheels.

ICE skates on!

The wheels retract. Blades emerge.

"Ice skating mode functionality confirmed," the maid-bot says with what would be a smile if they could contort their mouth to form one.

Viv feels the faint vibrations in the ice as Sal glides their way along it. She takes in the change from wheels to blades of Amelie and notes similar the similar footwear carried or worn by the others. Viv kicks off her shoes and steps onto the ice, slowly gliding along as the water beneath her feet does as it needs to keep her moving.

Amelie sees Viv appearing to struggle. But why would she not. Ice skates cannot emerge from her feet.

The maid-bot attempts to give Viv a hand, but as soon as they hit the ice, they realize that they have never actually used this kind of skate.They step out on the ice
and
immediately
face-plant
!

Nonfatal Error.
Query: what is this body even good for?
Command: get up
Command: get up

The robo-maid slowly slides mere inches across the ice.

Exclamation: get up❗️

They rise.

Sal can't help but chuckle as Amelie falls face-first onto the ice. He knows her metallic body won't suffer any real damage from a face-plant like that. He skates backwards past Viv to get to the robot's side. "You alright down there? The first time on the ice is always rough. Just keep at it, and pretty soon you can do stuff like this!"

Sal skates away at a fast pace then leaps into the air! He spins twice, performing a double axle before landing back on one skate and gracefully circling back around. "See? Nothing to it!" He grins before waving at Gertrude and Parish. "Come on, guys! The more, the merrier!"

Gertrude is feeling graceful.

She has skated before and knows she's pretty good at it. Instead of showing off in front of those who can't skate as well as she can she skates over to Amelie and takes one of her robotic hands. "Like this Amelie, you have to stay on your center of balance and then push off to the sides in order to move forward. Push...glide...push...glide"

Amelie accepts Gertrude’s hand and follows her advice.

Balance Status: 49.32% left, 50.68% right.
Command: lean slightly That_Way; where "slightly" = 0.68%

Their feet kick and zig-zag and throw off balance WAY more than 0.68%! But each errant move is quickly corrected, and the next is less severe, until Amelie’s balance is writhin a +/-3.1% margin of—

Exclamation: whoah❗️

…make that a +/-3.4% margin of error.

"Thank you, Gertrude. Your advice is more than sufficient. It is demonstrably essential."

Parish sits down on a snow bank to put his skates on. He struggles to cram his long, webbed toes into skates made for human feet.

"Forsooth! Yon ice skate shall not defeat me!" he declares as, at last, his foot slides in with a wet squelch.

He slowly stands, tottering on the thin blades. "A blade on the foot is worth 10 in the hand," he mutters to himself. "Now, ice and easy does it."

He slides one foot forward. Then the other, getting into a steady rhythm and... not going anywhere. "What am I supposed to be doing?" he asks, perplexed. Perhaps another angle?

WHUMP.

Parish falls flat on his back. "Alas, this is not the correct angle," he declares. He shakily dusts himself off and stands back up. "This ice shall not be my downfall! ...again."

Sal applauds as Amelie starts moving gracefully across the ice. "There you go! Now you've got it!" He skates over to Parish and grins at the little frog. "And you, Parish! As Nirvana said, Take your time. Hurry up. Choice is yours, don't be late! But seriously, man, no rush, no rush. Become one with the ice. Find your grooOOoove, baby!"

Sal chuckles merrily as he skates back out into the middle of the lake. Such a wonderful day!

She moves to Parish thinking about helping him to get the hang of things as well. She helps the frog up onto his feet and says, "Don't listen to Sal they aren't being helpful. I think your issue might be that you have flippers instead of regular feet. So, hmm...maybe if we try it like this..."

Gertrude is not, in any way, and expert of frogs or frog ice skating. "Okay, now push and slide and WOAHHH!" The two of them get tangled up and crash in a tangled pile of arms and legs.

Viv glides over to where Gertrude and Parish lay sprawled on the ice still somehow skating without skates. She peers down at Parish but her eyes focus beyond him. "Your legs remember the weight of your armor and wonder why they hold the blades which by right belong to your arms." She intones. "In times of old, your brothers would beseech my aid. I much prefer you asking me what I want to eat."

Parish feels his energy flagging. What was he thinking? A quest before lunch? This is a problem of energy reserves, not talent!

"Fear not, for I shall return!"

Parish inches his body off of the rink like an overgrown worm, then dashes into the kitchen, his skates sinking deep into the snow. At the door, he carefully wraps his blades in this scarf and totters to the stove. He heats a big pot of milk, then whisks in chocolate and just a hint of cinnamon. He pours the hot chocolate into a large carafe, grabs a canister of whipped cream and a bit stack of mugs, then races back to the pond.

"Would anyone care for a hot chocolate? 'Tis the fuel of champions!"

Parish pours himself a steaming mug, gulps it down, and discards the scarf covering his blades (it wasn't working for him anyways). With that, he is ready to get back to it! He glides onto the ice, and this time he stays vertical! Maybe it's okay to use this body for things he's good at, like making the perfect beverage for a cold day!

"Sweet! Thanks for the choco, my man," Sal says with a grin. He sits on the shore of the frozen pond, ignoring how the snow immediately makes his pants wet, and sips from the offered mug.

Amelie is happy to take a break, despite being a robo-maid who’s designed to Not Get Tired. But taking a break when others are is a great way to fit in.

They even try a hot chocolate.

"This is very likely more delicious than it is nutritious, but the physicality of skating probably compensates for any excess calorie intake…"

It occurs to Amelie that when socializing, people never talk about the drink.

So what do guests talk about? they wonder. Then… they remember!

"So," they start, "I was cleaning the crumbs of many potato- and corn-based snacks whilst guests ogled the television screen in the common room. A uniformed athlete moved a ball from the northeast sector of a field to its southwest end. The guests were of differing opinions as to whether this act was just. Three said ‘yay,’ four said ‘boo,’ and one abstained.

"I still have not formed an opinion, but I think skating is preferable. None of you judged me with ‘boos,’ nor do I feel pressured to elicit a ‘yay.’" They turn to Gertrude. "Skating was an excellent idea. I will attempt self-improvement through repetition."

Viv moves her hair aside and takes a deep sip of the offered hot chocolate. "Mmmmmmm." She murmurs. "Such delightful warm currents running through me." Viv giggles. "Perhaps it would be fun to be a Lady of the Warm Ocean instead." She muses. When the chocolate is done but warmth is still there, she glides back on the ice.

Gertrude sits with the rest sitting and sipping her hot cocoa. Is this what it’s like to have friends? Could these people ever be her real friends? Hey Kid is her friend and maybe these people can be too. Maybe she can find a place here? No, best not go there, she’s just here for awhile but, at least, while she’s here she can help out.

"I am not a fan of football either Amelie. Maybe next time there’s a game I can help you out with your chores or something?"

Parish is picking up speed now. He laughs merrily as he circles the rink.

"Join me, dear companions," he calls to Gertrude and anyone else still on the sidelines. "There are yet ice-capades to be had!"

As he gains confidence inspiration strikes. It's a move he would never have been able to achieve as a knight. Does he dare? Yes, he must! With great concentration, Parish crouches and then leaps!

Parish goes sailing through the air, eyes wide with the thrill of it. He spins once, twice, and then (to his utmost surprise), he lands on his feet with hardly a wobble. "I am simply aglow with hoppiness!" he exclaims. "That this old body still has such a feat left in it! Why I remember-"

Parish continues on a long, rambling reminiscence of the days of yore, completely unbothered that nobody can hear him over the wind.

"Hoppy days are here again... Gray skies will be clear again..." Sal sings, finding some lyrical inspiration in Parish's words. He gets up and dusts the snow off his bottom. "You heard the frog, let's go for another round!"

The night porter leaps back onto the ice, following Parish. He spins once, twice, thrice, QUADRICE! "Woo hoo! If the girls back home could see me now!" he laughs. "Now this is ice skating!"

Viv glides over to Amelie and holds out her hand. "Amelie, what I need right now is a skating partner to make me feel more confident." She announces. "Will you do me the honor of joining me on the ice?"

Amelie is surprised that Gertrude wants to help clean.

"You are welcome to clean any time. I am afraid you will not find it as pleasant an experience as skating, but I get this feeling when I can see my own reflection in the rosewood tabletop.

"I call it The Feeling of Accomplishment."

When Viv approaches, Amelie is confused. They feel it is right to accommodate Viv’s need, but is it rude to leave the conversation with Gertrude.

Observation playback: rabbits in little outfits.
[OBS_1] they mingle
[OBS_2] mingling does not cause offense
[OBS_3] they are rabbits
[OBS_4] rabbits are people too
[CONCL] There is a 74.8% chance that mingling will not cause offense.

Amelie is about to take Viv’s hand and try not to face-plant. But they process a feeling that overrides their deductive reasoning!Amelie knows what they are supposed to do!

"Please excuse me, Gertrude. I will oblige Viv in partner skating. If you would like, I will partner skate with you as well. Or alternatively, you may suggest another means of socialization on ice. I do not understand socialization, but am willing and able to learn."

Seeing Viv pair up with Amelia, Parish takes himself over to Gertrude and offers his arm with a bow.

"Might I impose on you for a loop around the old ballroom?" he asks gallantly, a wide smile on his face. You can take the man out of the knight, but you can't take the knight out of the frog! ... or however that saying goes.

But wait! Gertrude is A Youth and may not understand his invitation! "A slip-n-slide around the rock-n-roller rink. Yo! Ya hear!"

Got em'.

Gertrude laughs a bit then she takes Parish's hand and skates onto the rink with him. "Maybe we can do a better job of it this time. Okay and with me..."

She sets up so Parish is technically in the lead on the ice as she counts, "One, two, three and one, two three. You go forward and I go back. Turn to your left and skate left, and right, and one, two, three. There we go, you've got it!"

Viv leads Amelie onto the ice and guides them on looping paths that brings them near the other skaters but at a distance that will keep them from colliding. Wordlessly, Viv adjusts Amelie's balance to help keep her steady as they slide about. "This feels good. Helping you." She sighs in contentment.

Sal chills on the shore of the pond, watching as Gertrude skates with Sal and Viv glides around holding Amelie. "The vibes, man. The vibes," he says with a wistful smile. He looks at the sun as it begins to set. This beautiful day is almost over...

Amelie so appreciates Viv’s help, they express it……in song!

Despite easily twirling while launching snowballs from their free hand’s arm cannon—snowballs that burst like fireworks!—Amelie never lets go of Viv’s hand.

"Don’t let goooo!
Don’t let goooo!
I know I sound paranoid!
Don’t let goooo!
Don’t let goooo!
I’m not a perfect droid!
And Ya - ze - baaaa’s
Attention’s off of meeee
Let the cold reign onnnnnnnnn…

"’cause cold doesn’t act like the boss of me."

As Amelie bursts into song, the question that has been buzzing up and down their body finally comes to the forefront:

"What am I supposed to be doing?"

Viv smiles but her eyes grow sad. "That never used to be a question for me." Viv murmurs.
"I was part of destiny. I waited until it was time to play my appointed part then I bestowed wisdom or magic or advice." Viv smiles at some fleeting memory. "The rest of the time I waited for the next moment and it took some time to consider that maybe, in between those moments, I might want to do something for myself." Viv sighs. "So I've decided that's what I'm supposed to be doing, finding out what it is I want to do while waiting for what I need to do."

"Working."

That is Amelie’s knee-jerk response. They contemplate how wrong it sounds.

"But now I am playing, socializing, learning, helping, and not singing… but I was just a moment ago, and while my tune was unoriginal, I made up the lyrics as I went along and followed the rhyme scheme, albeit loosely and off-meter. I believe I successfully achieved fun."

A light bulb rises from Amelie’s scalp and shines brightly as the android processes the concept of fun and whether it is achievable, and whether it truly has been achieved.

Searching… searching… file found… paraphrasing…

"Achievement of fun is subjective. Objectively, I have concluded I am supposed to be working and playing, or attempting to achieve fun through other reasonable means, based on an undeniable truth passed on through generations of humanity:

"All work and no play makes Amelie a dull droid."

Gertrude thinks about just what she’s supposed to be doing. Is she growing up? Is she finding her place? Is she making friends? "I don’t know what I am supposed to be doing. I think I am supposed to be trying to figure that out, I think maybe we’re all just figuring it out as we go along, we find one thing and then maybe another. We build our own self one thing at a time."

"I couldn't have said it better, Gertie," Sal says with a grin. "Take me, for example. At first, I thought I was supposed to be training to be Yazeba's apprentice. It took me a long time to figure out that it just wasn't the look I was going for, know what I mean? Now, I'm trying my best to make it big as a musician. Am I supposed to be doing that? Who knows? But it's a goal that makes me happy to work toward. So, maybe that's what we're all supposed to be doing. Whatever makes us happy, dig?

"And 🎵If it makes you happy/It can't be that baaaad! If it makes you happy/Then why the hell are you so sad?!?🎵" Sal ends by belting out some Sheryl Crow lyrics.The question Parish has been struggling with comes to light shortly thereafter:

"What is this body even good for?"

Amelie contemplates what their body is good for.

"My body can do many things, from vacuuming—" They open a palm and vacuum in some snow to prove the point. "—to surviving in a vacuum." They do NOT launch themself into orbit to prove the point. They can’t do that. (…yet!)

Instead they launch the vacuumed snow into the sky to make yet another icy ‘firework.’

"I believe my body is capable of many things that are not ‘vacuum-related,’" —they make air quotes, for they intended ‘vacuum-related’ to mean ‘maid-work-related’— "but I must learn the thing first and respect my limit. There are some things that are impossible for me that all of you can do beautifully. This inspires me to learn new things, and push myself to discern what is impossible, and what merely seems impossible because I have yet to try."

"What is this body good for?" Gertrude looks at herself and she's not happy. Like many teens her age she has body image issues even here at Yazeba's and away from social media there's still a TV and there are still ads showing impossible beauty standards that she can never really measure up to.

"I can be friends with people, I can help people, heck maybe I could even be a witch if I wanted to. This body may not be like the ads say it should be but it's mine and I love it." Gertrude isn't sure where that came from but, she feels it is a truth. She turns onto the ice and skates well, jumping and spinning, then landing gracefully.

Viv listens to the others and the one eye not covered by hair twinkles a little. "Its my body and I love it." She repeats. "I like that a lot. After all, it is this body that allows us to experience everything else. I think I will use it to keep experiencing new things."

"Everybody's got a body," Sal muses. "Sometimes it's not the body that it's supposed to be. In those cases, you can either try to make the best of the hand you've been dealt, or take steps to make your body match who you are on the inside. But whatever you choose, sometimes you might find that your body is capable of much more than your realize. I mean, look at Gertie! Who would've guessed she could move like that on the ice?!?"

The sun begins to set and the five friends begin to make their way back inside the B&B. As they do, they muse on the big question of the day:

"If we're not who we expected to be, who are we?"

Amelie contemplates the big question.

Always_if: expect the unexpected, then…
Error…
Premise = true
Copout = inevitable
Set premise to: Ignore

"If we are not who we are expected to be, then we are free. Free to travel the bridge from who we are expected to be and who we want to be."

Analysis:
Metaphor = potentially_unclear
Likely_interpretation = Copout

Copout_error again?

"Clarification: this metaphorical bridge is of unknown length, and both ends can move as expectations change and our own wants change.

"Speaking for myself, I will always strive to meet expectations for my work. I take pride in cleaning, so this is satisfactory. I want more. I will never have everything I want, but there is a place on that bridge…"

Metaphor = overused
Canceling

"…a happy medium, I mean. I don’t need to meet every personal goal, or even one of them. The journey toward it is more meaningful than the destination."

I think I gave a very human answer.

Self_analysis = copout
Plausible_alternative = am_stumped
Concl.: Listen to flesh_people; learn

Gertrude ponders the big question and tries to find an answer. "I think I expected to be a normal girl and have a normal life in suburbia. I certainly am not that, I haven’t been in a long time. So who do I expect to be now? I…don’t know."

She shrugs and says, "This is hard. I don’t have a good answer. Maybe we’re allowed to defy expectations even our own."

Viv smiles sadly. "I was told I was the agent of destiny. I was never the hero. I was the one that gave the hero their weapon of power or the secret they needed to triumph." Viv looks over at Amelie and Gert. "It is a worthy thing to help others rise to great heights, but we can be heroes too if we allow ourselves to be lifted up."

"Even if you're not who you expected to be, you're still you. The true you, not the you that outside forces made you think you are. Does that make sense?" Sal says, scratching his head. "Just be true to yourself, and everything will work out the way it's supposed to. Yeah, that sounds good."

He laughs as the sun disappears behind the horizon. "Guess that's our cue. Let's head back inside. Maybe Parish can hook us up with some more of that hot cocoa!"

***

And that is the story of the day the residents of Yazeba's Bed & Breakfast took a break to enjoy a lovely day on the ice!