Level 3: Revenge of the Beefsteak Tomatoes

20XX SIDEQIX LTD.Our heroines relax as Pinky’s warp drive takes them far, far away from that Matoroid guy, who seemed like just a silly minion. Well, who knew?

And what did those shadows want, exactly? Did it really matter whether or not they had the coordinates to Missy Girl? Or maybe we should refer to her by her real name…

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LUNA

"Absinthe," she says for Luna’s benefit.

The green fairy sits atop a toadstool next to Luna. Clearly, this fey foreigner is delighted to meet another of her kind. She talks a bit about her world, where she was always doing the humans favors. "Spelunking about sofa cushions for loose change, shoe repair, flying lent cups of sugar across town—that was fine. But then there were the thorny-toads, the ice-screams, the snails-o’-nine-tails… and that gremlin boss who found everything funny.

"They kept coming back! My heroics were an exercise in futility! So you see, Luna?" She gestures about the flowery field, pausing a moment to savor the way the melting frost trickles down the bold, colorful petals, every drop glistening in the sun like tiny naiads dancing…

She has a look of remorse, almost as if she’d rather not say. But Absinthe is sure she’s doing right by Luna. A fairy. A sister.

"It’s not abandonment. It’s love.

"You love your world, and if you leave it, the villains will stop."

And Luna… you don’t recall whether you stepped into that warp pipe on purpose, or just peeked as you contemplated Absinthe’s wisdom. But somehow, you felt the pull of the warp pipe—and you saw her—Absinthe—reaching for you, trying to stop you despite her words!

Maybe she was trying to talk you into a different warp pipe. But here you are now, on a planet that is only three melons high. (Or should you say three melons in diameter?)

There’s a solitary tingleberry bush. It seems quite healthy for the only living thing on the planet until you showed up about half an hour ago.

Well, fortunately there seems to be a regular coach service. You can see a pink starship coming toward you. The only other things to look at are a billion stars and one bush. You should probably embark on the coach. The next one might not come for another hour!

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PINKY’S CREW

A warning light goes off.

SORRY TO INTERRUPT, CAPTAIN. THERE IS A TINY PLANET APPROXIMATELY 2.97 MELONS IN DIAMETER. BIOSCANNERS CONFIRM THERE IS A SENTIENT LIFE FORM. SHALL WE INVESTIGATE

Pinky’s holodisplay shows a fairy seated on the dirt of a potted plant drifting through outer space.

Pinky considers the co-pilot’s concern and runs an analysis.

ANALYZE LV.3 . . .

VEGETATION IDENTIFIED!

TINGLEBERRIES ARE NON-MONSTROUS FRUITS THAT ARE CONSIDERED ESSENTIAL FOR HEALTHY BODY FUNCTION AND ABLE TO HELP YOUR SKIN LOOK RADIANT

Pinky’s databank is not exaggerating. The fairy on the viewing screen looks very healthy for someone stranded on a floating bush. She radiates a golden glow!

Morumi, Larumi and Kurlumi—the Mini-Ks—are in fact monsters known as Reflexions, low-level mini-bosses who worked for the Matoroid. "All we ever did is pop out of the three-way funhouse mirror and chase heroes away," says Larumi. Morumi agrees, "Thanks to you, Kurumi, we got better things to do!" Kurlumi flits about the control panel on the starboard-side of the engineers’ deck. "What’s this button do?"

WAIT --THAT FEATURE IS LOCKED UNTIL HUMANS CAN SAFELY

Before Pinky can dissuade her, the bald fairy starts fiddling with buttons on a control panel with a piece of paper taped to it:

DON’T

Morumi assures Pinky, "I will stop her!" "You always get to stop her. Lemme do it," Larumi offers.

Kurlumi is trying to pull a lever that won’t budge, thanks to an enormous padlock. "Hey Morumi, hey Larumi, c’mon!"

"What’re ya tryin’ to pull?" Morumi scolds.

"This!" Kurlumi stops struggling with the lever so she can point to it.

"Oh," says Larumi. But Morumi says, "Nothin’ doin’!" She and Larumi try to stop their sister, but as the three fairies struggle with each other and the lever, Kurlumi cries, "Waitaminute, waitaminute—remember what Kurumi said? Stop fighting!"

The three fairy-Reflexions stop. They lean forward against the lever, and they sigh in relief as the contemplate Kurumi’s first words to them. The lever is locked. It does not move.

But when all three Mini-Ks look up at their own reflections on the monitor before them, there is no lock in the mirror image. The Reflexions’ reflections accidentally push the lever—

—and the✨little✨fairy on the potted plant is immediately bathed in golden✨glittery✨light!!!

Suddenly, Luna finds herself on a ship full of ladies—five Bigguns and three fairies who look just like one of the Bigguns, aside from the hair (a sugarbowl hairdo, porcupine curls, and the third fairy is completely bald).

ABSINTHE. THE SHADOW MITES WHO ATTEMPTED TO INFILTRATE MY SYSTEM ARE INTERESTED IN FINDING HER. THEY BELIEVE HER MAGICAL INFLUENCE OVER WARP FIELDS, IF UNDER THEIR CONTROL, WOUKD ALLOW THEM ACCESS TO AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION.

MY OWN WARP DRIVE IS NOT CAPABLE OF THIS. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY THOUGHT EXTRACTING MY SYSTEM WOULD HAVE ACCOMP

An actual red-alert light flashes. Pinky warns her captain (and Pira),

MY SENSORS HAVE DETECTED SEVERAL SHIPS AT 5 O’CLOCK, AS OUR COPILOT MIGHT PUT IT. THEY ARE APPROACHING RAPIDLY. THEY ARE HOSTILE

Our heroines don’t quite know how their world works. If they did, they would know exactly why Pinky never suspected Luna was a threat, and exactly why the blips on the radar obviously are enemies whose soul purpose is to kill her captain and crew.

But Casanova knows that Pinky is never wrong. And so, she makes the effort to outmaneuver her pursuers. But experience tells her that trying to run from a fight before it starts is an exercise in futility.

More and more blips appear on the radar. Firing up the afterburners makes the blips disappear… but by the time the booster-rockets are reloaded, the blips are back. And… seemingly closer than before, and better positioned to surround and overwhelm.

Finally, a star begins to look like a sun. Pinky’s display identifies a planet, just a few million miles past an asteroid belt.

THE ASTEROID FIELD AHEAD IS GOND’S RAINBOW. IT WILL BE DIFFICULT FOR THE MATOROIDS TO SURROUND US IF WE CONFRONT THEM HERE

Pinky is about to present the alternative to a fight—but that’s when the green lasers start to fly!—illuminating otherwise pitch silhouettes of tentacled tomatoes clinging to asteroids with their spidery tripod legs. These Matoroids are even larger than the one you saw in the temple. Just one of these creatures—or machines???—is as large as your ship!

💙💙💙💙💙💙
🚀

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While the captain navigates the asteroid field, Luna and Princess Diamond shift the force fields to full power. Luna’s icy magic gives the force field a reflective property! Lasers ricochet! Kurumi’s covering fire adds to the chaos! The lone attacker can’t get a clear shot—

—but Thundra takes hers, and SPLAT! Gobs of tomato juice and shards of metal float from the blast! As the Matoroid’s tentacles writhe like scattering snakes, the thicc warrior princess gets this feeling of deja vu. Tripod machines with tentacles and fire magic were the enemy in her Ares Attacks! mission! (The overgrown tomato where a metal head should be… that part is new.)

A wave of Materoids form a wall to block Pinky’s escape from their ambush—but Pira J-turns, singing the Materoids with Pinky’s afterburners and ramming through the pursuers!

The lucky few to dodge the ramming attack fire from both sides!The Materoids that formed a wall open fire, illuminating the asteroid field with red and green lasers. Fortunately, these kill-bots have terrible aim, buying our heroines time to shift force-fields to protect Pinky’s caboose!