Train Busters game thread

Clarence completely fails to find any snake oil.

But his Snack-a-tons do; running around the passenger cabin wreaking havoc like Gremlins, the living sandwiches slip in the snake oil and begin to mutate. More and more layers of cheese, tomato, lettuce, onion, salami, cucumber, tuna, egg salad, bologna, peanut butter, watercress, and many other ingredients grow onto the Snack-a-tons, elongating into monstrous Serpendwiches that attack the passengers in the train.


Frank: 3 gum
Clarence: 3 gum

Clarence explodes into motion, blurring through the train car in a manner that inspires a young passenger years later to invent the first motorized threshing machine. Every sandwich in the car is bisected, and each half bisected again, and each quarter bisected a third time. The Serpendwiches are ended, as well as the little bread snakes, lettuce vipers, cucumber cobras, and anabacondas that attempt to form from the pieces. But Clarence is unable to stop himself, and every piece of food, sandwich or not, is utterly destroyed by his savage sword. After several minutes, he finally stops, standing at the other end of the car, breathing heavily, a gore of yellowish paste dripping from his blade.

"Well the ownership of this here train has recently changed. Can't say I'm keen to honour past ticket payments as I wasn't the recipient of the payment." I spit, and quietly thumb another bit of that delightful pink chewy stuff. I must find myself another supply when this bunch runs out, "I'd be happy to add some value, else I wouldn't be much better than the previous owners. What if I could get you on a direct route to Sante Fe? How much'd that be worth to a keen inventor such as yourself."

Bonny completes her unhooking the passenger cars of the train and leaps back on the robot. Without the extra load, the Mechanical Man surges forward, stomping down the tracks with the dining car strapped onto its back.

As the train disappears in the West, Naked Giant Frank begins to scoop up bodies and squish them in the Dust Bunny's face, squirting it with blood as it continues to pummel him. The dust begins to congeal and collapse as Giant Frank squeezes more and more blood onto it - sometimes from dead things, sometimes from not-dead things: snakes, horses, men, purple-robed things.

Just then, Saul arrives with the assembled cavalry of the United States and the Cheyenne nation. The charge smashes into the pair of giant combatants, knocking them down and trampling them.

Clotted, flattened, and stretched out by vast ranks of trampling hooves, the Dust Bunny is no longer recognizable, spread out across across a gory acre. Bloody Muddy Naked Giant Frank rises up, a whinnying horse clutched in each gargantuan hand, and gives a triumphant yawp that can be heard in Colorado. Saul wheels the giant line of cavalry and turns back.

The Dust Bunny destroyed, the whirling clouds of fire dissipate, and sunlight streams through in broad beams once more. The discarded train cars sit, idle, about a half a mile to the west of the carnage. Of the Engine, there is no sign.

Luke, the gambler, checks the clasps on his valise stuffed with bank notes once more, tightens his grip on his revolver, and begins to walk slowly West, following the train tracks.

Bonny and Clarence ride the giant Mechanical Man off into the sunset, and before too long, they realize that the robot is no longer confined to the train tracks, and so they steer it in a bee line, straight to the New Mexico Territory. It seems likely to be the start of a beautiful friendship.

Saul seeks new worlds to conquer, and so he sets his sights on empire. He wheels his cavalry of just a few dozen mounted men south, and heads to Mexico and beyond.

Ezekiel carefully wraps up the body of Billy the Snake, and takes it down to claim the reward in Lincoln County, doggedly dragging it across the prairie. He always gets his man.