Al and Erevain

Hands that are both slender and strong rest comfortably on her shoulders from behind. "I know it looks like a lot, sharuhk, but I believe you are doing well. Except for these..." He moves around to kneel beside her chair as he looks over her budget figures. "I can help you with the mathematics. Hmm..."

He pulls one of the papers towards him and puzzles over it for a quiet minute. Then he shrugs and pushes it away. "Properly housing and feeding eighty orcs will cost a bare minimum of 480 gold a month - and that is with poor living conditions. If you wish them to live at all comfortably, it will cost 2,400 a month." He puts a finger to his lips as his green eyes flick back and forth, not focusing on anything in particular that Alalla can see. "But we don't have to come up with all of that. If we can arrange for gainful employment, they should be able to fend for themselves easily enough." He gestures to the nearby window. "There are certainly openings in the militia. Targos needs soldiers, and the orcs need work. But if the townsfolk are not comfortable with that, there might be opportunities to work repairing the town. Caravan guards. They could even take up fishing knucklehead trout in Maer Dualdon or one of the other great lakes..."

Erevain stops himself suddenly. "But these are only musings of mine. I am no master of economy or social infrastructure. I am sure that the Cagebreakers will manage just fine on their own, and we can just provide them with pay enough to get them started."

"Well? Yes, the lies are coming smoother, now," Alalla grumbles, quickly writing down the the costs Erevain tells her. "I'm glad one of us is good with numbers, at least." She listens quietly to the rest of his advice.

"I don't think it's a good idea for the orcs to move into Targos. I just wanted them to help the townspeople recover. Do some service rebuilding the wall, and things. Help protect the town for a while. Make up for their actions a bit and show the townsfolk they can be different than they thought.

They definitely need to be involved in hunting down the deserters. Both to try and bring more over to our side and also because the militia just doesn't have the strength to do it alone right now. But after that's done I think Morrugh will just have to pull them all out of Targos and find somewhere to camp and fend for themselves. We can try to do more when I get back. If I leave them here I'll come back to a smoking hole in the ground."

Alalla goes to run a hand through her hair but stops suddenly when her fingers brush her horn buds. She scowls and grabs her stylus again.

"I'll have to get them some supplies..." she murmurs, jotting down the necessities for camping on the tundra.

"When you get back?" Erevain slumps. "I suppose I deserve to be kept at arm's length. My actions, though well-intended, have not merited much in the way of trust."

Alalla rubs her forehead. "No, not really. But I suppose I was too literal when I took you at your word. I'm just... still learning who you are I guess." She adds some things to the supplies list. "But I just said 'I' because they're my responsibility, not yours. You're my husband, not my subordinate. I won't make you stay. You made yourself clear so in all this I was assuming you wouldn't." She gestures to the mess on her desk.

"I see..." Erevain pauses for a long minute, head down. "I... apologize. For everything. I was so focused on one single manner to protect you that I neglected my other responsibilities as your husband. I should have been more open with you and discussed things like a reasonable spouse instead of acting on my own." He leans his head against her shoulder. "I may not be your subordinate, but you are my leader, just as you are the leader of our friends. However you decide to use me, I will be supportive and follow through."

"You promised to be faithful and true to me, whatever the cost. But you got so caught up in keeping me from Gruumsh that you did things that were not faithful to me. Including trying to keep me from Gruumsh. I told you that it wasn't important right now. I know you disagreed, but the state of my soul was my choice, not yours. I needed your support with other things, but when I went to lean on you, you weren't there." Her eyes flick to Blitzkreig propped up in the least frequented corner, and she feels the knife of betrayal in her gut once more.

Al sighs and shakes it away, then kisses the top of Erevain's head. "But I've been so hurt and angry I keep forgetting that this is my fault. I messed up. I could have taken Ghotrag but I made a bad call. I should have paid with my life but instead I just ensnared you in Belhifet's plots. You should have let me die, both times, but I understand why you couldn't. You were backed into a corner and you panicked. You wouldn't have been there if it weren't for me. I'm sorry."

Alalla strokes Erevain's hair. "I didn't see much of it, but Avernus is not the worst place to end up. I would have gone myself but I didn't want a potential nation of orcs follow my example. The devil armies are the best armies I've ever seen and their fight is one that needs to be fought. But you deserve more." She takes Erevain's face in her hands. "You were supposed to have other lives, and other wives, and be happy." She puts her forehead to his. "I should be doing everything I can to free you, but I can't. I have too many people relying on me. How can I 'use you' when I have so little to give? How can I expect anything from you? How can I fix any of this?"

Erevain's eyes wander to the glaive as well, and he sighs. "I did not want you to fight him. I was afraid that you might. He said he wanted only to speak with you... I am sorry that I did not have a way to warn you beforehand. Perhaps... perhaps I thought that keeping your glaive from you was a way to communicate with you, to tell you that listening now would be better than fighting."

He breathes deeply, trying to center himself. Somehow Alalla knows that he is mentally going through swordcraft exercises, seeking calm and clarity, and she is reminded of the moments they shared doing those exercises together while he was no more than an unfortunate spirit within a sword. Their connection was so deep, once. But still, she knows him well enough to understand the way his thoughts work.

"Alalla, I betrayed your trust.. With the best of intentions! But from everything I've read in the history books and learned from the cultures that I have studied, the best of intentions often lead people astray." He straightens up. "But I knew... I knew before you brought me back to life that I only wanted to help you."

He looks into her eyes. "Elves have long memories, even more when we catch glimpses of our previous lives. While you sleep, I meditate and relive them. I have never been so happy as when I am with you."

One hand comes up to touch her face. "Those are the memories upon which I most dwell, the ones with you. I will have them forever, live them forever. You see, the greatest gift I could ask for I have already been given, and that after having been killed and brought back. I should not have had this chance, but you gave it to me."

"I think Poquelin gave it to you. Like he gave me my life back and an extra century or more to spend with you." Alalla puts a hand to her chest, feeling the dragon heart beat beneath it. "He feels like a third party in our relationship and it makes me want to break things. He used our wedding vows against us! We're both already compromised. What more will he do? I can hardly trust myself, let alone you."

She leans back with an irritated grunt for her wound. "My instinct is to deaden myself. Stop feeling. But I've already shown that I'm incapable of changing how I feel about you. The only way I can think of to stop him taking advantage of us is to remove myself entirely." She holds up a hand to stem any protest. "I don't think that's a good idea now that I'm sane, but it's still the only one I have. But Poquelin took advantage of that, too.

So... If he is going to use whatever choices we make against us... I choose to trust you." Alalla takes Erevain's hands. "It sounds ridiculous and far-fetched to hear you say that in all the centuries of all your lives I'm the one who makes you happiest. But I choose to believe you. I'll take the risks that come with it." She leans forward and kisses him softly. "Of all the things to have to take strength in, I'm glad I can choose you, sharuhk."

Erevain leans into the kiss. "Whatever our future holds, every day I get to spend with you is a blessing. We will face it all together, sharuhk."

"Together." A promise, and one last admonishment. Then another kiss. "I'll have to give the orcs everything as chieftess, but I'll keep you for myself."