Name: Saul Balsam
Who am I?
Good evening, fine ladies & gents! Today I have a most superb elixir for all that ails you, be it sniffles, scurvy, stomach trouble, gout, pneumonia, poor eyesight, nervousness, heart ailments, tiredness or plum just sick of life! Yes, indeed! A quaff to cure all manner of troubles! Today's special: buy two bottles and receive one free of this wondrous elixir! I have spent my entire life searching for cures from all over the world...the secret of this magical healing formula was taught to me by a Medicine Man in the jungles of the Amazon...the secret ingredient comes from a rare snake. Yes, sir, a bottle of my magic elixir will fix whatever ails you! Gangrene of the leg, this magic potion will clear that right up, absolutely! You will not be disappointed. I have only a limited supply to sell today, tomorrow I must go back for supplies. I may never be this way again, so don't miss out. Directly after the show I'll be leaving to restock my wagon. Since this is to be my last stop, I'm going to sweeten my offer, since my wagon moves faster on a light load - by the way I neglected to tell you this here magic snake potion also works wonders for any horse or mule discomfort. If their leg is sore from a sprain just rub this wonder liniment on and after a night’s rest they'll be kicking the barn doors down to get to working for ya. Okay the deal now is if you buy 3 bottles for a mere 50c a bottle, I'll throw in 2 bottles free. Yessir that's what I call a steal. I must return to St. Louis to replenish my supply. Lookee here my good friends I drink it just like this. [taking a good quafff straight from the bottle] It works superbly for the baby's colic, just one tablespoon and that baby will quiet right down and you'll be able to get your sleep. That's right my friends! Step right up for the deal of a lifetime. A potion so potent, it may even save you from the clutches of perdition! Don't be stingy folks I probably won't be this way again so buy your supply now!
What do I want?
Those outlaws have crossed the wrong man. Steal my wagon...my livelihood...at gunpoint! Why, it’s enough to drive a man to extremes! I’ll show them. The long arm of the law hasn’t got to them but Saul Balsam knows a trick or two, yessir!
Last edited Oct 1, 2015 7:26 pm