Background

You rush upstairs and see all the crew and heroes staring at an ape in blue silk robes. You see yourself listening to the conversation. Quickly you rejoin yourself and catch up on what’s been said.

Not sure how long one minute is, but I have one min of concentration to fire the ballista at Big Ugly, then do the ship crash magic.

shit, wrong forum

sorry for all the planning. Just learning this world, and stormy wants to be boss. No worries, I am loving playing DnD again, and playing with you. I'd even be open to side adventures if you're up to it. I know it's taxing keeping the party on track and you are doing WAY better than I would be.

I know you are a visual artist. I found some beautiful, and some erotic, Elven art. Nothing you couldn't find on your own, but I once discovered with another friend that sharing is not only a joy, but a desire in a way. Makes it hotter in some way. But only if both enjoy the art, the eroticism, and the sharing.
That's a long way to go to ask if you'd like a shared Dropbox between only you and I where we could drop art, pictures, perhaps even stories that interest, entice, or even just titillate us?

Lol. One minute means ten 6-second rounds. That’s a lot. We haven’t gone three rounds of battle yet.

Concentration means that if you are hit and fail a CON save at DC 10, or cast another spell with concentration, or break your own concentration, then The spell ends.

Thomas, It is great to reconnect our friendship here. Doing so was the only reason I suggested doing a PBP of the world I had created with my kids in the first place. Maybe we could get a couple other friends too I said. Please though, I am not interested in the eroticism or side adventures. I know that makes me a hypocrite since I do so with a stranger but that’s just how I am wired. I am fast making friends with Kilikina, sharing all the kinds of things you wish to share with me, but for me it’s love and I needs boobs as part of the equation. ;) please don’t be upset with me. I am loving our main forum experience and am stretching myself to play the females characters With you as well. I had a lot of fun throwing Elena at you. But it isn’t erotic for me, though it might be for you.

As a serious note, I do love Kilikina more than I could have imagined. I need to love someone in my life and it is wonderful to find such a kindred spirit. To top it off, she is so hot that I could never hit that. We have progressed enough that we are making a personal connection beyond our game role playing. She’s sweet and saucy, beautiful and fragile. And she is sensitive to my feelings, which had been so tortured during my Lisa phase. We keep the erotic to the role playing, but still share our lives and selfies like a young couple dating. I insist on saying I love yous, but I don’t know what that really means to her. I am in love. I am in heaven, though I also know the realities of our situations.

I understand the heart ache and loneliness you have felt because we have both gone through it a hundred times together. I do hope you find that love, my friend.

No worries for me. BTW, I didn't realize you and Kit had taken it to RL. Natural concern and curiosity aside, I have never asked you how badly your wife is sick or the cause, because I figured if you wanted to reveal that you would do so. But I am too curious not to ask this: since you know Ante and Code in RL, and teach their kids. I assume they know your family there. How do they react to you having an online romance?

Oh, and so you know, for all the way I framed it as sharing erotic art, it was basically just a way to share boob pics with a buddy. With Tony, it would be "check out them knockers!" But with you my brain shifts (into what I'm am glad to say is my more natural state), its more, share the beautiful boob pic and say "I enjoy how the light accentuates the delicate curves, a the way her pointed pink nipples offset the alabaster skin of her plump breasts."
Then again, you did move to Toad Suck, so maybe it's tits n' beer now. ;)

When I said boobs needed to be involved, I meant attached to something, lol. I was never much for porn. I was a life drawer in Art School. Lots of history of art classes with the teacher slapping her pointer stick on David’s penis. I consider the body an art form. I especially like the female body. Go figure that. But again, I don’t look for a connection or sensuality through it. I find that through love of the person. I never had sex unless I wanted the person. Remember in Atlanta when were traveling the east coast and we stopped to visit Ashley? She and I had dated for a year but she wouldn’t ever say that there was something between us. That night she made a pass at getting me into her bed. As much as I loved the aggressive move, I had to stop her and ask her about us. She couldn’t say that it was anything more than sex and I left to leave and sleep in Barbara’s apartment. I was amazed you never asked about that night. I have had several of these situations occur and each time I broke my own heart telling the girl no. That’s how you get to be 26, a virgin, disillusioned, and vulnerable to marrying a bitch like Lisa. The Paladin finally gave up. I know, that makes me a freak among freaks.

The most amazing part about that story is that Duke is that 20 year old Rodney. I made him vulnerable to Kit’s back story ideas. I gave him a pretty face to abuse and trick to get what she wanted. To exercise her character and build back story depth. Instead we played at falling in love, including sleeping together without sex and then making out and then finally a clear third date type situation where it was clear there should be sex. We exchanged some dialogue and action. But then I stopped that action at its most feverish point and gave her my ultimatum that had destroyed that Rodney so many many times. I know it was just online, but It was real. She could have wiggled out, even gotten the sex, and she would have continued as the Kitsune that she intended. It would have been great. She would have been a powerful player with that attitude. But she didn’t. She recognized the flaw that she had written into her character. The flaw of falling in love rather than just being the trickster. She choose to be deep and multifaceted. Contradictory. Real. Loved. She told me that despite everything in her character and background, she loved me. I was crying when I read her response. I married her that night.

As for Ante, she was the friend holding my hand as I went through Christi’s breakdown. She has tried to find a legal/medical solution for it but the problem is too slippery Constitutionally. Still, I would not flaunt the problem to her. But she understands and therefore Code will not mention it.

I wouldn’t say RL. There are plenty of identity security measures in place for both of us. I don’t want to take those down for both of ours sake. Talk walls. Safe place. It’s unfortunately my life.

When we were in Atlanta, I was about a year into being a thin person who found for the first time in his life that women could be attracted to him. The fat kid who had many female friends, started to have real dates. And, unwittingly, became very full of himself, and selfish. In hindsight I see that, but I had no idea at the time. To be honest, even now I don't fault that, because after the years of feeling ostracized, I finally was a part of something I'd never experienced. So if I was oblivious to the issues of others around me, forgive me. I do recall her having some goth singer boyfriend who was not treating her the way she wanted, and I made some smart ass comments about him that made her laugh (even then there was some Jacob in me).
Back in those early 90's, when I had the long curly hair, a woman named Chantel was my hair dresser. She was gorgeous. Small frame, big eyes, long black hair, incredible ass, rather flat, but had the most outgoing, dynamic fun personality I've known. She was also openly bi and I later found out she subscribed to Playboy and could literally careless who knew. I was coming out of the Bible belt small town, to what was me a big city (I laugh at that now) and she was amazing, but married. She thought I was a brilliant guitarist and asked me to teach her husband, which I did. He was dumb as dirt but a nice guy. He was a carpenter, well built and they looked right for each other. Her sister was gorgeous, too, and we dated a while, had a lot of fun, but they were big drinkers and smokers and like to sit in bars for hours, and I got bored.
Flash ahead to y2K. Chantel and Mike got divorced, and she moved in with some friend of theres who turned out to be a big time druggie. I was coaching T-Ball, and her son was on my team. He lived with his dad who would tell me she was not doing well. One day, she drove her Bronco to my house and said she had no place to go. Which wasn't true, her dad had a big ranch south of town, but she didn't want to run home to mama, but wanted out of the drug world. I was, she said (and it's no doubt true) the only decent man she knew other than her dad). So she moved in. We had a lot of fun and it became physical. Love for me. For her, most likely she just enjoyed being cared for by someone who loved her.
I admit her fascination with beautiful women was fun to watch. You said you've RP'd lesbian scenes, so you know some of the thrill. I'm not sure how erotic you found that, but imaging coming home from work and finding your girlfriend (or at least live-in lover) in bed with one of the best looking women you've ever seen. Through Chantel, I had more wild times, met more wild people and did more wild things than I ever did before. I was still in decent shape. Not as thin as the early 90's but not bad, so I found it reasonable she was really into me. I was in love.
Then the paranoia started. She started telling me of men following her and taking pictures of her. Due to her drug life past, it sounded credible. Then the stories were of the men taking pictures of her in lingerie and putting them in magazines without her permission. Many wild tales like that. One night, after talking for hours and hours, I finally got her to show me the magazines. Through tears she showed me a Victoria's Secret catalog. When I pointed out those women were not her, she said they put different faces on them, but it's her. She was convinced and very upset.
Then started the days she slept all day. I'd get up, go to work, she'd be in bed. I'd get home, she'd still be in bed. I'd get her up, give her a shower, get her dressed, we'd eat supper. She'd sit beside me while I watched TV, but she would just stair at the screen. She had no idea what was going on. I'd engage her in conversation and she'd say it was good, or she was having fun, but she wasn't. Then like magic, one day she's fine. She's driving her car to the store, shopping, making dinner. Then one Saturday, she goes out parting, I had no idea were she was. She comes in late like it's no big deal. We talk it out. Then we are good again, for a while. Then the sleeping again, then the out of it. Then I realize, she's on drugs again, but it's way more than that.
I take her to her sister, then her dad. They put her in the hospital and she's diagnosed with schizophrenia. Once released, she moved back in with her parents and has never been the same person. All that life, and dynamic fun personality was gone. She barely remembers anyone.
After that, I stayed to myself, got really fat, you introduced me to SL, where I found a life were I could connect with people mentally without the prejudice of seeing how huge I had become. I made a lot of connections, some you know of, and others I still chat with to this day, from around the world. But eventually, I got bored. I may log in once in a blue moon to catch up with a few folks. Then 8 years ago, I lost a ton of weight, and am a new person. I'm a happier person. I fell great physically and emotionally. There is a lot of Jacob in me, in that I joke, tease and don't take much seriously. But that trauma of those years still haunts me some.
I can't imagine if we had gotten married.
I am sure whatever you are dealing with is worse, it has to be. So you have my friendship, and my support.

And there you have summed up my story with Ashley. I never found out about the Goth singer BF. Lol. Perhaps that decision was a good one for me. All for the part that she still has part of my heart that I gave her. I have lots of me scattered around.

I feel like a terrible friend. I didn’t know anything about Chantel, unless she is your story about adopting someone. I’m so sorry. With Christi, it wasn’t drugs and drinking. It was dancing and kids. I feel so fucking wholesome next to your story lol. But marriage and raising kids are a part of my life now, just without the wife or loving support. It’s a trap that I have tried to silver line.

You were coming up to see me in Arkansas four or so years ago with a friend (gf?) but never did. What was that about?

Oh, I didn't do the drinking or the drugs, I tried to be her refuge away from them. I would never say I wanted wholesome, but there were times that had I found the right woman who loved me, I believe I'd have been a great dad. I coached t-ball, taught Sunday School for youth, lead a youth drama team (were I got to write all the plays) and played guitar in a band for the youth group for 11 years. So I got my fill of surrogate parent, but didn't have to pay for them, lol. I was proud that the activities minister once told me that in all his years running that program (and he was very old) I was the only coach parents would request having their kids put on my team. Most were ones that had older ones who had been before.

Anyway, as for the wild times with Chantel, yes, that was a bit of a rock star life that I once thought I wanted. Here issue wasn't the drugs though, it was mental. Of course, there is a thought that the drugs altered her mind, which is probably true.

Is Christie coherent? I mean, can you two at least share conversation?

Oh, and that friend that I was going to come see you with has been part of my heart for many years. It's a long tale, and one I will trust you with, but I'll email you soon. She's special in many ways, and frustrating as hell in others. We still talk, and who knows what the future will hold, as we have a connection like no other.

Oh, she is coherent. Thank goodness she still teaches the kids and does the shopping online. But when I talk to her, which is little, she is liable to go off with strange ideas gathered from her imaginary friends. She lost touch with reality and would see things, hear voices, fear the world or its continued existence. I like it when she was divining that we would get $30 million in $3 dollar bills. I guess it is a delusional disorder, the hardest one to diagnose as she can fake normal well. She prided herself that she could do that early in her childhood when the parents tried to help her. Her sister is in denial. Her mother is a crazy homeless lady in Houston. I'm afraid part of it is hereditary. I'm trying to prepare Izzy and the boys for this possibility.

Her health is poor. She is overweight and has shaved her head because of sensibilities. She sleeps most of time in a freezer called our bedroom and I sleep with the kids. Though our food is so pure and supplemented and the kids and I are rarely sick, she has flu symptoms most of the time. I feed her and change the sheets and checkout dvd from the library. She makes it to the bathroom to bathe. And that's it.

I'm sorry to hear of that. It sounds like something snapped. Where there any signs before, or did it just come on recently?

I do feel for you even more that I did, my friend. And I understand Ante's understanding better. Mental issues are so hard to deal with for loved ones.

Willie Nelson wrote this song in the early 60's. Every time she takes a new boyfriend, I sing it thinking of him. So far there have been 5, and she come back each time after the first 4. She's with 5 now. Yeah, I know, it says more about me than her, but the times she's here are pretty spectacular, and it's not like I have a lot else going on in the romance department.

Pay no mind to her
She only wants to play
She's not for you
She's not for you

And I'm the only one
Who would let her act this way
She's not for you
She's not for you

So she told you she found
Heaven in your eyes
Well I think it only fair
To warn you
Sometimes she lies

But it's your heart
I can't tell you
What to do
But she's not for you
She's not for you

She just looks for
Greener pastures now and then
And when she grows tired
She knows Old Faithful
Will just take her back again

So just leave her here
I'm used to feeling blue
She's not for you
She's not for you