I may be reading too much into you last statement, but if you are feeling helpless/desperate, please reach out to someone, even if its a mental health line or similar. I'll also be happy to lend an ear if you need it.
Thanks, LoM. I am feeling very helpless, but I have a good support system with my wife and friends. I will make it through this. I won't discuss politics on here except to say that I was... disappointed.