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Oct 4, 2021 6:00 pm
Harrigan says:
I like it a little less, but shorter:

From the latest version of D&D to classic games or any small press or indie RPG out there, Gamer's Plane has tools to support your game. With the ability to post as your character, easy to use character sheets, a dice roller and a community full of people wanting to play old favorites and try new things, Gamer's Plane is the place to be for PbP RPGs.

Have a crack, anyone else!
I also liked the longer one better, but that is the nature of these things. :)

Just at first glance we can lose two words. Do we need to say '...or indie RPG out there'?

We could also save two letters by changing '... or any small press or indie RPG' to '... or small press or indie RPGs'. I think those 'or's should be 'and's, but am not sure?

Have we defined elsewhere what 'PbP' means? Can we link to that in this text?

I also believe it is Gamers' Plane, not Gamer's Plane?
Oct 5, 2021 2:09 pm
Shorter
For any popular system or indie RPG out there, Gamer's Plane has tools to support your game. Post as your character, use integrated character sheets, dice rollers and playing cards, and interact with a diverse community of players and GMs.

Even Shorter
For any RPG out there, Gamer's Plane has tools to help. Post as PCs or NPCs, use built in character sheets, dice rollers and playing cards, and find a diverse community of players and GMs.
Oct 5, 2021 4:51 pm
https://i.imgur.com/b58BUQM.png

That's good. But we have three sections with headers - can we split that up?

Any RPG
"For any popular system or indie RPG out there, Gamers' Plane has tools to support your game."

Integrated tools
"Post as your character, use integrated character sheets, dice rollers and playing cards."

Community
"A diverse community of players and GMs."
Improve the sentences and pass it along.
Oct 5, 2021 5:17 pm
Adam says:

Any RPG
"For any popular system or indie RPG out there, Gamers' Plane has tools to support your game."
"For any RPG system - either indie or popular out there, Gamers' Plane provides you the tools that will support your game."
Adam says:

Integrated tools
"Post as your character, use integrated character sheets, dice rollers and playing cards."
"Post as your character or NPC, use integrated character sheets, dice rollers including special dice and decks of cards."
Adam says:

Community
"A diverse community of players and GMs."
"A diverse and friendly community of players and GMs, welcoming RPG veterans as well as newly-introduced to RPG people into Playing By Post."
Best I could think. I'd like your opinions. I wrote these as I would like to have read them as a newcomer.

Rolls

Intimidation check - (1d20+2)

(5) + 2 = 7

Oct 5, 2021 6:21 pm
That is two instance of people contrasting 'indie' with 'popular' like they are saying indie is not popular? :)
Oct 5, 2021 7:42 pm
vagueGM says:
That is two instance of people contrasting 'indie' with 'popular' like they are saying indie is not popular? :)
I'll admit it's not the best choice of words probably. And English isn't my native tongue.
Oct 5, 2021 7:54 pm
I think the smiley means he’s just messing with you. Like one of those two grumpy muppets wryly complaining from the box seats (I should know their names, but I don’t).

Anyway. Shall we attempt to improve them? It’s just three sentences. How hard can it be?

Any improvements to those? Maybe Vague will rewrite it, replacing popular with mainstream, commonplace, vanilla or passé?
Oct 5, 2021 7:57 pm
Qralloq says:
Even Shorter
For any RPG out there, Gamer's Plane has tools to help. Post as PCs or NPCs, use built in character sheets, dice rollers and playing cards, and find a diverse community of players and GMs.
We can just go with that one. Hopefully all the TLAs are clear, so we can avoid HTEA.
Oct 6, 2021 5:00 am
Adam says:
I think the smiley means he’s just messing with you. Like one of those two grumpy muppets wryly complaining from the box seats (I should know their names, but I don’t).
Statler and Waldorf.

And while I like Qralloq's shorty-short version, I think Adam wants it broken into the three sections. I think he and Antiproduct got close...

Any RPG
"Support for all RPGs -- mainstream favorites, old classics, indie and small press games."

Integrated tools
"Dedicated game forums, post as your character functionality, integrated character sheets, dice rollers and playing cards."

Community
"A diverse and friendly community that welcomes RPG veterans and newcomers alike to the wonderful world of playing RPGs by Post."
Oct 6, 2021 5:02 am
Those all sound pretty good.
Oct 6, 2021 5:36 am
Thanks Harrigan.

I woke up grumpy this morning, muttering darkly to myself how people would like me to write code, but they can't even be arsed to write a few sentences to help out. Then I get those and now I feel guilty about being grumpy.

We have a little space in the first box. Maybe add "home brew"? "...indie, small press, and home brew games"?

https://i.imgur.com/xb5ehLt.png
Oct 6, 2021 5:41 am
Then there's this bit:
What is Play-by-Post?

While tabletop RPGs are the most fun face to face, not everyone has the time for protracted sesions, or might not live near other players into the same games as them. Starting in the early days of computers, play-by-post (PbP) gaming is simply playing the RPGs you know and love over a forum. Rather than saying your actions aloud, you just type them up!

Playing via forum means you don’t need to set side a dedicated few hours to game and can play at your convience. You can log in and respond to other players/the GM whenever you have a few minutes to spare, and the nature of PbP makes for a robust, RP friendliy environment. You can play with old friends, or make new friends around the world!

Gamers’ Plane offers you a PbP experience you won’t get anywhere else, focused around a community of gamers, with tools to make the experience as close to tabletop as you can get!

This can be as big or small as you like (although I'd suggest smaller as that's a lot of words for a landing page).

(in context)
https://i.imgur.com/Qcw83uK.png
Oct 6, 2021 5:49 am
Quote:
While tabletop RPGs are the most fun face to face
[ +- ]

Maybe something like this. I shortened it a bit and changed some things I didn't like but kept close to the original:
Quote:
Play-By-Post is a different way to experience tabletop RPGs. Rather than dedicating a few hours at a time to sit together around a table, you can play at your own convenience. Log in and respond to other players and the GM whenever you have a few minutes to spare.

Gamers’ Plane offers you a PbP experience you won’t get anywhere else, focused around a community of gamers, with tools to make the experience as smooth as possible. You can play with old friends, or make new friends around the world!
Oct 6, 2021 5:56 am
Filler text!

"Support for all table top RPGs -- mainstream favorites, old classics, indie, small press and home-brew games."

On the longer piece, getting late here and a busy day tomorrow. Can look at it tomorrow evening if the rest of the gang doesn't take a crack at it.
Oct 6, 2021 5:57 am
Just seeing what bowl wrote, and I do like it.
Oct 6, 2021 5:58 am
Both bowl's new, shorter text, and the original are super good enough.
Oct 6, 2021 8:38 am
Thanks. I think that's it.

The features are more relevant, spelling mistakes have been removed, it works nicely on mobile devices, and Bowlofspinach's text is great.

https://i.imgur.com/w0ZO4fH.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/LVBFT4Q.jpg
Oct 6, 2021 2:56 pm
Can we get rid of one "friends" in the last sentence of my text? Word repetition and stuff.
Oct 6, 2021 3:02 pm
"You can play with old friends, or make new ones around the world!"

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