Emergence Game Thread

I am immediately on my feet and wrench myself away from Rhiv. I bark back at him. "Do not touch me! It is unwise to be around me right now; I finally have clarity enough to know that much." There is foam in the corners of my mouth and a pained expression on my face. "Besides... I am uninjured. At least in no way you can heal." I spit out the last word, set my teeth, and do everything but emit a low growl.

I breathe a sigh. Partially of relief at having found Harp alive after my hijinks with the rope bridge, and partially of exasperation at having now found him seemingly unwell. I twirl both hand axes restlessly and start to stalk (hunt) slowly along the side of the hall toward the other door.

I kneel down on one knee and look searchingly at Harp from across the room. He appears raw with pain although not all physical. He seems like a coiled spring. Brother Harper... let us help to carry the load that weighs on you now... in what way can we assist you? Is the woman still here? I glance over at the items showing through the other door, and absently shift the whimpering baby to the front and stroke its head.

In spite of my fury I feel as if I'm thinking clearly, almost like a veil has been pulled from my eyes. I realize my posture and attitude towards these men who have searched dutifully for me is of no help. And of no consequence. They are not the ones with whom I am angry. Wait - who am I angry at, exactly? I close my eyes for 10 seconds, and take a deep, intentional breath to calm myself.The blood leaves my vision, but I am still angry. It is just simmering under the surface now. Maybe I'm saving it. Maybe it's saving me.

"You will find no witch here, Therrien. She is departed, mayhaps for good." and, after a brief pause "She is fey. And will not be tracked by the likes of us." Normally after a line like that I'd sheathe my blade, slamming the hilt into the scabbard as a punctuator. My sword hand twitches nervously with nothing to do.

I accept the axes as a gesture, albeit an odd one, and the effect is surprisingly soothing. One side-effect of leaf is the "heavy hands" feeling, and holding these weapons mimics it, creating a placebo relaxation. At the thought my mind goes to the last remaining cigarette in my pocket. Not now. Now isn't the time.

But the clarity remains. "She is here already." and then, as the flame of anger wanes from a boil to a simmer, I begin to pace deliberately. Keeping my body moving is the only way I can re-live the last horrendous hour. Without looking anywhere but the floor in front of my feet, I recount the events since the pass.By the end of the telling, my pacing has slowed to a tired walk, and I feel weary. The cumulative effects of a series of magical enchantments, possession, pitched battle, years of emotional baggage, and extreme rage have left me exhausted, and the food and nicotine are working their way in my system. After a few moments of silence, I drop the axes loudly on the floor "I have to shit." I exit through the ashy doorway, taking a remaining scrap of paper, and walk a dozen or so yards away until I find a small alcove in the pathway. The stool is loose and watery, which somehow stokes my anger. I attempt to control it, and stalk back into the room.

"Nothing sinister occurred. I won't pretend to know how, but while I was... eh, "frozen" she offered to help. In the moment I had no other option, and she somehow possessed me, but I retained agency of my actions. She did me no harm. In the heat of the moment I believed I might have owed her my life - whatever it's worth." I take a pause, still spent, and feel my hands and feet growing heavy with weariness. "What Illarastra meant by "rewards" for going down a certain path I have no idea. Maybe I'll find out." Another pause."Maybe not."

I take a pull on a wineskin left on the floor.

"I am going to sleep. Go through the ashen doorway to find the pass, and from there to Redwall." It seems as if I have something else to say, but don't. I remove my weapon belt, lay the moose blanket on the cold floor, wrap myself in my coat and lie down in a corner. I curl up with my back to you, as one freezing at night without a blanket. And you hear the sound of grinding teeth.

Therrien is somewhat existentially shaken by recent events. He has long lived his life by a very black-and-white code, and has found no reason for balance or restraint in his actions toward that which he perceives as evil. And he has always perceived anything Fey or associated with dark magic as unquestionably evil. First, his (literal) loss of balance on the rope bridge and To'ot's subsequent heartfelt speech about the need for balance in action and thought caused some cognitive dissonance, and now finding out that the ice woman was not evil but .... complicated (and that their attack had nearly killed a seeming ally and Harp's kin) has left him a bit unmoored from his prior paradigm of living. Perhaps that is why he does a un-Therrien-like thing now.

He takes off his cloak and lays it over Harp. Not un-gently.

I sleep fitfully, and tense. When I awake I won't feel as rested as I should, even though I don't wake all night. It's almost as if I... leveled up or something?

I have a dream-filled sleep before taking my watch. The first dream is always the same, about Lulu - the dream is a dig in an old wound that I feel less and less. She cries out as I am beaten, then fight back and land a blow to Gareth's mouth and his teeth loosen. She begs us all to stop, but I know that we will not.
That dream fades into one of a large stone beginning to roll down a mountain. Slowly at first, then picking up speed as it bounces off outcroppings and other rocks. The spinning of the stone carries so much power, as it seems to whip off or break through anything in its way. But only if it can hold together. If the rapid descent breaks it apart, the pebbles will lose all the power they had together.

My concern for my friends continues to grow even after Harper was found found safe. friends? I have rarely felt a part of a group before. Harper seems to be turning inward - he seemed to suggest that we continue to Redwall... without him? For some the quest for balance must be alone. But we have bigger stakes than one man here, and if we split we may fail in our mission... Therrien unmoored, but there are hidden depths with that one - I sense there is more to him that he imagines.

After the watch I meditate while the baby looks curiously around the room.