All Together Now (H 2.2, L 2.4)

Location: The Roost
Time: Around midnight



It's late at night and all the Talons have returned to The Roost, bringing Helix's stuff along (including a dark tank of... stuff). A few Talons have continued drinking and chatting in the kitchen when Litch and his partners (Kestrel and Mynah) emerge from their room to join the group.

Helix,

Zephyr's putting away your stuff with you, chatting amiably as you take over half of the room. She seems happy to have "a roomie" and doesn't seem possessive or clingy at all. If you hadn't experienced what she did for you in your old apartment, you wouldn't notice anything different.


Litch,

Your whole body is feeling better after the TLC from your wives (heal both harm). Javan reports to you that Helix has returned. You expect Lucky Strike should be bringing Helix's belongings soon.

Why don't we pick up the scene with you arriving at Helix and Zephyr's room?

I had descended the stairs with Mynah, leaving the large bed all to Kestrel to get some shut eye her long day. My wife and I then split up near the dining area, she to join the small party of revelers for refreshment and I to check in on our guest. when I approach the door to the girl's chambers, I pause first, knock four times, then slowly enter. "Zephyr, Helix? How was your night out?"

I raise my eyebrows, impressed with their efficiency. "Oh? That was smart, Zeph. Thank you for saving me a trip." I turn to Helix and inform her. "As for your other things that were left with the Sippians, your friend Lucky Strike is on his way over here to drop them off. In exchange, he would like the name that you told him you would provide for him. I assume you know what that means?"

My eyes flick anxiously once toward Zephyr when she brings up going to my place, but she doesn't make it weird, as promised, and doesn't bring up what happened between us, also as promised. My stomach is anxious, but I choose to attend to those feelings away from my face as Litch responds. But when he brings up Lucky Strike, those intentions slip. I feel my lips part, my breath momentarily cease.

Three long seconds pass before I nod, once. "Yes. I know what that means."

But I don't. I know the name Lucky wants, of course. I just don't know if it's the name I should give him. Hard Strike's accusations about me trying to protect Wells echo in my mind now, mixed up with whispers of war and vengeance, ruling gangs and keeping contracts. It makes my head pound.

I look away from Litch, unable to sustain the weight of his too-keen gaze.

I hold her gaze when she hesitates to answer right away. She confirms that she understands, but when she turns away, I say, "And you'll give it to him." It's not a question, it's a command. I need this exchange with Lucky Strike to go well. We need to maintain good relations with the Sipps.

That brings my gaze back to him. The way he says it reminds me of the way people order food at the Belly, but this isn't grease-soaked grub and marginal beer. This is life and death.

My jaw flinches before I give Litch the only answer I think he might accept other than yes. "If the Gray Wing wills it."

I'm pleased she isn't defiant, even if I don't buy her complete compliance. The answer she gives pleases me, even though it's not demure like Plover or Javan would be. More like Zeph. My eyes shift over to my daughter. "So. How was siblings night out? Behave yourselves?"

I snort out a quick breath of laughter and smile. "Aye, well, you were always smarter than your old man." I look over to see that Helix now has several more items near her cot. "Make a trip to the markets, did you?"

My concern deepens at the idea of the Talons fighting with the Rafters. Wasn't Litch just working amicably with Amazon to attain me? Being alone at home had some downsides, but one of the upsides was that I never had to get involved in gang wars. No one respects the girl who serves them beer, but everybody wants to keep her around at least.

"My things from home," I answer Litch, looking at the items around me. They do make this place feel more comfortable, even if I'm not sure if I should allow that. "Some of it anyway," I add, as if that will establish that I do indeed still have a home, and it's not here.

That lifts my spirits some. So she's decided to stay for a time. That's good news. I look over to my daughter. "Zeph, would you give myself and our guest a few moments? The others are enjoying refreshments in the dining hall, if you'd like to join them."

I glance briefly at Zephyr, a spike of reactionary fear jolting through me at the idea of being alone with Litch. But then Zephyr doesn't owe me anything, and I can't afford to be so weak as to get attached. I am the Voice after all. Litch won't harm me...unless the Gray Wing tells him I should be sacrificed in some smoky ritual to bring about her ultimate plans. As far as I know, that's a distinct possibility, and a risk I'll have to take while I'm here.

I nod, briefly, subtly, and I'm not sure if it's more for Litch to tell him I agree to be alone with him - as if I had a choice - or to Zephyr - as if she needs my permission.

Zephyr does wait, just a moment, checking in with you without words, Helix. She smiles and answers, "Of course, Father." and leaves, closing the door behind her.

I smile at Helix and then walk over to Zephyr's bed to sit down, giving her some space. "I'm glad you chose to spend some time with my children tonight. They don't have many friends their age. I hope it was an enjoyable evening for you." I lean forward, placing my elbows on my thighs and putting one fist into my other clasped hand under my chin, staring at the floor. "I've talked a lot about my hopes for your presence here. About my beliefs and about my family. But other than what I think you are or could become, I don't really know much about you. Who are you, Helix? Who do you want to become?"

I carefully fold some of my recently acquired clothes, sitting on the edge of my bed, grateful for something to do with my hands while Litch speaks. He asks who I am, who I'd like to be, and though I don't know how to answer either question, one is easier than the other. I fuss with tucking the sleeves on a shirt I'm folding just so as I speak.

"My parents died when I was young, so I became an Ivy. I lived there until I was trapped out in a storm that...changed me. It was hard to climb after that, so I had to leave. I bounced around a bit until I landed at the Belly. Thing there were good until..." I pick at a little fuzz clinging to the shirt, quiet for a moment before I say simply, "Sipps. Vaulters." I look up at him. "Talons." I shake my head as if it's unbelievable. "I had a stable life, and now..." I fear for my life more than ever before. I owe people debts I'm not sure I can repay. But I also see things more clearly now, things others don't as Lucky put it, and the feeling of power when I talked with Merlin still tingles at the base of my neck. "How can I decide who I'd like to become when I can't even decide where I lay my head at night?" I keep my eyes on him, cool and calm, unwavering. "Don't pretend that I'm not a prisoner here, Litch. I know you don't want me to be, that you'd prefer me to choose this freely, but for now, I'd rather you just be honest with me."

I listen to her summarized revelation of her personal history. When she tells me she wants me to be honest with her, I say "I also am an orphan child. You don't get much sympathy for that when you're my age. My mother drowned when I was just a bit older than you are. My da disappeared. Sailed out to the horizon and," I puff out a short blast of air. "Gone. But I never had to make it in this world on my own, like you. Even when I was fighting at the Belly in my youth, I still had a home to come back to."

I lean over to grab the pillow Zephyr uses, fluffing it up and placing it back down, ready for her for the night. "I used to tuck her into this very bed when she was young. Sometimes, I'd hold her until she fell asleep. Sing to her or just hum songs my mother used to sing to me. Sometimes, I still do that. Even though she's grown." I chuckle and shake my head at the memory of doing just that only a few months ago, after she'd been out late and came home inebriated.

"I do that for all of my children, but she was the one who loved the songs best." I look up at Helix. "Aye, I cannot let you go. I don't want you to feel like a prisoner, but if you do, it's by your own choice to see it that way. This could be the place you can always come back to, but you have to choose to see it as your home to gain that comfort."

Listening to Litch's story in return makes him seem less cultic gang leader with ties to the weird of the world and more...human. The idea of him tucking Zephyr into bed here with care and song turns my heart into a warm dawn - soft and quiet, unaware of threat, untinged by the cynicism of reality.

Then I remember how Zephyr talked about leaving home soon, and the unwavering shadow returns to my chest, comfort as fleeting as a day without sin. I take a breath and exhale, looking away from him and nodding. At least he admitted that he won't let me go. With Wells, I was prepared to accept a cage, a guilded one, for a time. Now I'm thrust into a new prison and though it doesn't come with the same luxuries, it is somehow less threatening. The sentence here, though...the sentence is indeterminate.

"When you put a bird in a cage, you can give it food and water and company. Perhaps it will even sing again, but you can't blame it for seeing the bars."

"You've seen the ravens, aye?" I ask, knowing that she has. "You think they have cages? I suppose you could say the Roost is their cage, but they are free to come and go as they please, yet they always return." I push myself off of the bed, taking care to place my weight on my right knee instead of the left. "While I cannot let you come and go as you please yet, some day you will be free to choose whether or not to return home to roost. I'll not keep you a prisoner forever, girl. And you're no slave." I walk over to where she's folding her garments, standing close but not looming over her. "I need your help, your abilities. But I'd rather partner with you than become your master."

When Litch approaches with his assurances, a deep sense of dread settles over me. Not because I think he might hurt me - nor because I'm unsure that I can be who he wants - but because I think might be able to become exactly that. That is terrifying.

"I believe you," I tell him, setting the stack of clothes aside and standing to face him. "Thank you for getting Lucky to bring my things. I'd like to speak with him alone. But I would feel safer if someone could be nearby, just in case."