The Pancake War

The battle lines are drawn. The Pancake War is about to begin!

Out on the back porch, Lady Sheridan "Sherry" Du Sang and Yola Oleander are sitting in their rocking chairs, sipping tea. "Oh, dearie me," Yola says. "It looks like Hey Kid is up to some mischief again. I daresay that things are about to get messy, dear Sherry."

Sherry laughs acerbically. "I wonder how the old witch is going to put that rapscallion in their place this time. This ought to be an entertaining afternoon!"

Tiny little heads begin popping out of burrows as the Rabbits in the Garden, Who Wear Little Outfits, emerge, twitching their little noses. "Mmm! I smell something delicious," Colonel declares. "Are those pancakes?" asks Sheila. "I'm getting hungry," Poppet chimes in.

In the lobby, Mr. Boggs tries his best to ignore the burgeoning conflict, drops of rain from the cloud around his head slowly soaking the upholstery of the chair he is reclining in. Niviana "Viv" of Ilyn, the Lady of the Lake, hides behind her hair as she listens to music on her Walkman.

And in the gift shop, the fairy Monday peers out of the window at Hey Kid's cardboard palace. They grin widely. "Oh, ho! This is going to be fun!"

Parish sighs. Cooking breakfast for the B&B is supposed to be his time of quiet and meditation, happily creating fun treats for guests and residents alike. Now, it is job, a duty! Preparations for War! In accordance with Yazeba's orders, Parish has made eggs. All of the eggs. All of the ways. Chicken, duck, and quail eggs have been scrambled, poached, and fried. Quiches and frittatas cover the countertops. Parish sighs again. He just wanted to make a nice breakfast.

Yazeba settles against the railing of the porch. It's the perfect place to keep an eye on things without getting too close to Hey Kid's line of fire. That child has far too much power and far too little sense.

She pulls out a cigar, clips the end, and lights it with a beat-up old lighter. She could do it with magic, sure, but there's a ritual in doing things the old-fashioned way. "I trust you two will help me give that child a heavy dose of reality," she grumbles to Amelie and Parish as he wheels out the egg-laden breakfast cart.

She puffs a billow of smoke which forms agitated loops and whirls around her, untouched by the light breeze. "Ungrateful brat," she grumbles before raising her voice to rally her troops: "Enough of this nonsense! It's time to show Hey Kid what it takes to be a real business owner! Foes afire!"

Amelie looks to Yazeba and says, Programming conflict, always prevent potential messes, never disobey a command from Yazeba. Please alter my programming to better assist in this task." She’s conflicted and utterly confused about what to do.

"Please assist this unit. Lack of assistance will mean this unit will have to do nothing"

---

Dog Dog N’Dog faithfully sits next to their person. All three pup faces look to Hey Kid with soulful love and adoration. This is their person and they will always be there for them.

A hind leg absently scratches at an itch.

Yazeba sighs the sigh of a person absolutely done with the day already. "This whole business is to prevent a mess," she explains. "Hey Kid is causing the mess and encouraging others to be messy too! It's up to us to stop it."

She presses a broom into Amelie's hand and nudges her forward along the deck. "Just... Hold the deck. Figuratively! And stop asking me to change your programming!"

Sherry and Yola chuckle and sip their tea as Yazeba shoves Amelie out onto the porch, taking the first steps in advancing towards Hey Kid's rival bed and breakfast.

Robin doesn't really understand what's going on. Why would Hey Kid, a notoriously flammable person, make a hotel out of cardboard? It's certainly not up to code, which Robin finds stressful, but Hey Kid has been so kind to him recently that he's willing to support his young friend's foolishness!

Besides, pancakes are interesting! Robin has grand ambitions to make them himself one day. If he could just manipulate his hands to be a little more delicate, he's pretty sure he could brand them with little pictures. Perhaps there will be leftovers that would go to waste without his experimentation...

He sees Yazeba push Amelie off the front porch and frowns. "Don't worry, Hey Kid, she won't get past me!" he promises. Robin carefully moves forward to block her path. He's not sure what he'll do if she rushes past him or tries to touch him (oh who is he kidding, he knows he'll be too slow and too worried about hurting her!), but surely a tall, bulky lava elemental in the way would be enough to make anyone think twice!

Amelie and Robin stare each other down from the opposite decks of the rival bed and breakfasts. The air is thick with tension!

Amelie tentatively takes a step forward. She notices some leaves and the like and gives them a good sweeeping. "Territory secured. Note: This unit is clearly incapable of defeating Robin. Additionally even if I were there is a certain strange ache in my processors about the idea of harming the kind one. Is there a higher strategy madam?" She really isn’t exactly wanting to do this but she’s following directives.

---

Dog Dog N’Dog sees a butterfly and begins chasing it and barking. The intruder must be defeated! *Bark* They run around everywhere in circles until the butterfly finally drifts off.

"Pshaw, Robin isn't going to hurt you," Yazeba scoffs. "Just don't move until one of you collapses from sheer politeness overload."

She eyes Amelie, then Parish. They're both clearly reluctant, which doesn't make sense because Yazeba is obviously in the right here. She takes another deep drag of her cigar before reluctantly setting it on a lumpy ashtray to burn out. Her frown deepens as she eyes the hand-made ashtray; it's an ugly hand-made thing Hey Kid presented to her like the world's greatest treasure some years ago. When did Hey Kid stop being so agreeable, she wonders for a second before remembering all of the shenanigans they've gotten up to over the years.

There's nothing for it. If you want someone to learn a lesson, you'd best be prepared to put on your teaching hat. Yazeba stomps down the porch towards the field.

"That's the spirit, Yazeba, dear!" Monday calls as the witch takes the field. The fairy grins and waves from the window of the gift shop. "Show that small child you mean business!"

"It's nothing personal," Robin assures Amelie as he takes another step forward. "Hey Kid is my friend, so I'm doing this to validate their exploration of their independence. I tested boundaries when I was their age too, and I wish I'd had a friend to stick by me."

He takes another step forward, his posture screaming reluctance. "You know, you could always join us! There's always room for more friends!"

Just as Robin's foot comes down, Yazeba loudly scoffs at his ridiculous heartfelt comment. Robin flinches backwards and starts to turn red - literally - with embarrassment. The dry grass beneath his feet combusts with a whoosh, leaving a large, burnt circle in Yazeba's lawn. The witch's eye twitches as Robin hurries to apologize. "I didn't mean to! I'll help fix it," he promises as he stumbles back and fails to gain new territory.

As Robin stumbles and struggles, the trio of Rabbits in the Garden, Who Wear Little Outfits, emerge from Hey Kid's hotel, bellies full of tasty pancakes! Colonel has swapped out his floral shirt for an old-timey military jacket, and he thrusts his furry paw towards the garden. "Come, friends! We must defend this delicious house of flapjacks! The garden is our territory. Let us hold the line!"

"Yes, sir!" the other rabbits declare as they hop into a defensive formation!

Amelie looks to Robin and nods, "Understandable, this unit does not have friends. I am a servant to Yazeba and must follow my programming. I will do my best to follow my instructions."

She moves forward to attempt to take territory.

Amelie starts to move forward when a little ding sounds. She looks down and sighs as her power fades and she shuts down.