The Pancake War

Dog Dog N’ Dog gives a hearty woof and then proceeds to lick the Jam off of Hey Kid’s face. The triple headed beast is having a great time today.

Hey Kid finds that dog tongue, dog tongue and dog tongue tickles his nose and calms his nerves.

The perfect distraction for the frog knight to hop into action! "There are advantages to having been transformed," he explains to Monsieur LeCafé and other inanimate objects about his makeshift outdoor Battle-Kitchen. "I was once ironclad and oafish. But now, I am camouflaged to the greenery, and my legs are so sleek and springy that… they can take me anywhere.

"Just not to another French Chef’s kitchen. That would not do." He shakes his head slowly, making eye contact with the image of a lady on the butter container’s label. He politely bows to her, and then—

—there may be a rustling in the grass. Probably just the wind.

What’s that in the sky? A divot, no doubt, soaring in the air in delayed reaction to last summer’s impromptu golf tournament.

Is that a woodpecker in the overhead tree? Did it knock down a bees’ nest? Because surely, surely it isn’t the sound of a buzzsaw, hammer, turning wheels and—"Voilà!" Parish leaps in triumph, into the driver’s seat of his Food Go-Kart! The cart is made of roughly cut wood from the firewood pile (and three slices of tree stump and an oversized stale doughnut for the wheels). There’s a sign on it which currently reads UN CHARIOT PLEIN DE CRÊPES, but the paint is wet so who knows what it will say five minutes from now?

Parish is living the moment, pedaling furiously with those gangly little legs that shall never be breaded and fried. "Never! Hahaha!"

The wooden spoon with a moustache painted on it has no idea what Parish is laughing about. For it is only a spoon.

Robin's skin cracks and peels, a layer of ash flaking off and freeing his firey form from his impromptu game of statues. "Oh my!" he says as he notices Parish's cart careening down the path. Well, who better to stand in the way of a wooden object? He moves forward, trusting Hey Kid to hold the center path.

Robin has never been more wrong about his abilities in his life. The cart shoots forward, and he loses his nerve. What if Parish is going so fast that he can't stop before careening into Robin's body? What if the cart is too flammable and erupts into an inferno that roasts poor Parish alive? What if -

squeaAAAAK

Robin's train of thought abruptly terminates as he steps on Dog, Dog, n'Dog's squeaky toy. He totters back and falls onto his rear, landing on a discarded, syrupy pancake with a wet squelch.

Dog Dog N’ Dog hears the sound that means it is TIME FOR BATTLE. The three headed dog runs to the toy and grabs it. Three heads each take a bite *squeak* *squeak* *squeak* then one head grabs it away from the others and the creature frolics with it some before turning up on its back and savaging the toy some more. The toy continues its squeaky death throes and Dog Dog N’ Dog continues its valiant battle. The squeaky toy shall be defeated!

With their face no longer taking a licking, Hey Kid is bolstered by Dog Dog ‘n’ Dog’s (or Dogs’) Battle Mode.

"I’ll lob ingredients at the food go kart," they think to themself (and say aloud because internal monologues are too quiet).

…but Hey Kid can’t find any eggs. "Well, I’m not gonna hunt for ’em. That’ll take FOREVER!"

Amelie gets distracted and starts picking up all of the pancakes. "What a mess, how did anyone think that this was a good idea. It’s just so dirty."

Not really thinking about it she picks Yazeba herself up, moves her from her spot, up and begins cleaning off the witch as well.

Parish points his moustached spoon forward as he pedals his contraption toward Hey Kid Hotel territory.

Parish can’t steer while carrying a wooden spoon, for he is just a little frog!

He crashes into a huge tree stump and goes flying over the handlebars as his food go-kart bursts to splinters!

"SACRE BLEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU…"…and head-first into the pond.

Sherry and Yola share hearty laughter and sip their tea as they watch the mishaps continuing to pile up!

Dog Dog N' Dog are a good dog. They take a last bite of the squeaky toy, and it no longer makes any sound. They have triumphed!

They proceed to march forward sit on a new square whereupon drop the defeated chew toy at Hey Kid's feet and look up at them with six sets of puppy eyes. Clearly, ever so clearly, they deserve a scritch!

Good boy!

Yazeba sputters as she is hoisted and cleaned. "Amelie... AMELIE!! I am not a pancake!"

She fiddles with her clothing to get it back in place, then strides to the edge of the deck.

"LISTEN UP, GUESTS!" she bellows. When she's sure she's caught at least one guest's attention, she continues. "You may think this is fun and games, but look at the damage being done! Carts in shambles! Scorch marks in the lawn! Dogs getting taught to misbehave! And for what?" She makes a grand gesture towards Hey Kid's "hotel". "For a building made of cardboard? How many of you could even reach your rooms without burning or falling through the floor? Which of you would enjoy sleeping in the rain? Hmm? This has clearly gone far enough!"

Yazeba's words seem to resonate with her guests. Mr. Boggs sighs and straightens his tie. "Your arguments are logical. I will assist as best I can." The business man steps onto the field of battle, umbrella raised to keep the rain from the cloud around his head from fogging up his glasses. He closes with Dog, Dog, n'Dog, but then he stops and hesitates. "There's three of him and only one of me. Hmm. I think I'm at a disadvantage here. Perhaps I better recalculate my approach..."Behind Mr. Boggs, Viv, the Lady of the Lake, quietly makes her way out of the B&B. She looks at the befuddled businessman from behind her hair, shrugs, and simply steps past him to claim the territory in front of the three-headed hell hound pup.