[ +- ] Lt Col Michael Spay - Mission Commander
To be an astronaut is to do anything to go into space. Anything. Only elite pilots, engineers and scientists make it into the program. Only the toughest of them complete the training. Only a fraction of trained astronauts actually go into space. It is humankind’s highest ambition and greatest achievement. You have flown one space mission already and there is no human being you would not betray in order to fly again. You don’t admit that to anyone.
For the last 18 months, you have been training for a classified, unpublicized rendezvous mission. It’s called BLACKSAT, but you know little beyond the name. The language on the security documents was pretty severe. There are some peculiar features. The emphasis on EVA
(extravehicular activity) makes sense, but it also seems that you might be bringing non-astronaut personnel along. Who could you be taking into space who is not an astronaut, but who still is entrusted with a secret mission?
However it evolves, everything rests on your shoulders. The fate of this mission can impact the fate of NASA as a whole, and as far as you are concerned, NASA is the apex of human achievement. You will not screw up.
[ +- ] Maj Dirk McMillan - Shuttle Pilot
Piloting a space shuttle makes sex seem trite. Now, to be fair, the amount of sex you can get by being a shuttle pilot does leave you fairly spoiled in that area. Nevertheless, your priorities are clear. You can get laid any time you like. You’ve only flown in space once. Given the choice, you’d go celibate for the rest of your life to earn another STS patch. Fortunately, it probably won’t come to that.
For the last 18 months, you have been training for a classified, unpublicized rendezvous mission. It’s called BLACKSAT, but you know little beyond the name. The language on the security documents was pretty severe. There are some peculiar features. The emphasis on EVA
(extravehicular activity) makes sense, but it also seems that you might be bringing non-astronaut personnel along. Who could you be taking into space who is not an astronaut, but who still is entrusted with a secret mission?
[ +- ] Dierdre Turner, M.D. - NASA Flight Surgeon
Charlotte Whitton said, "Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult." Charlotte Whitton was never a NASA astronaut. You are surrounded by decorated combat veterans and the world’s best test pilots who went looking for bigger challenges. Good luck doing anything twice as well. These people get competitive about eating pancakes. You did a psych rotation during your internship and have some theories about this sort of success obsession. Most of them would rather die than be weak,
and would rather be weak than look weak.
You know for a fact that you were the third choice for the mission. You only got into the rotation because one military doctor failed a psych eval and another had a transient ischemic attack, probably stress-related. You’re also well aware that the shuttle program is shutting down. If you don’t go this time, you won’t get to. The thought of doing all this training for nothing devastates you.
You have been granted BLACKSAT clearance for this mission, and you know there been no publicity for it. It’s all very hush-hush. You’re not even sure what BLACKSAT clearance means, but the papers you signed had some severe language. You know it’s a rendezvous with an orbiting object, and your training emphasis has suggested you might be taking care of non-astronauts. You have tried questioning Scalzo and Woolrich, and gotten the impression that Scalzo doesn’t know and Woolrich isn’t telling.
[ +- ] LCDR Luke Belton - Mission Specialist
The lowest grade you’ve ever gotten was a B in an art class. You were first in your class at Annapolis. Father’s an electrical engineer (like you) and he always had time for your football games. Your mom ran an art gallery. Yet time and again, the public sees you in a space suit and thinks "affirmative action." Either they hate you (without knowing you) because they think you must have stolen a spot from a more qualified white man, or they admire you (without knowing you) because they figure you nobly worked your way out of the ghetto by resisting the drug game. They don’t see the 300 carrier landings you made as a Navy pilot. But you still give it your all and do your best because that’s all you really know how to do. Screw it. A lot of the public is ignorant and weak.
For the last 18 months, you have been training for a classified, unpublicized rendezvous mission. It’s called BLACKSAT, but you know little beyond the name. The language on the security documents was pretty severe. There are some peculiar features. The emphasis on EVA
(extravehicular activity) makes sense, but it also seems that you might be bringing non-astronaut personnel along. Who could you be taking into space who is not an astronaut, but who still is entrusted with a secret mission?
[ +- ] Capt Daniel Hamlet - Mission Specialist
You once heard an alcoholic describe himself as "the turd the whole world revolves around." That blend of self-importance and self-loathing struck a chord. You feel like a fraud. Everything you have accomplished—high marks in school, Air Force academy, F-15 pilot, becoming an astronaut—seems insignificant and at the same time incredibly important. You always achieve, but it’s never enough. You were salutatorian,
not valedictorian. You were a pilot, but never made the test pilot program. You made it to NASA, but you’re a mission specialist instead of a mission commander. You are better than so many other people. Just not enough of them.
It’s a sickness. A weakness. You almost wish you could talk to someone about it, like a psychologist, but there’s no way in hell you’re going to jeopardize your standing in the program over your feelings. The best estimate you have seen is that the human race has numbered about 107 billion people. Fewer than 600 have left the planet. Maybe if you can join that elite, it will finally stop your worries. You are sure none of the others in the program have these sorts of doubts.
For the last 18 months, you have been training for a classified, unpublicized rendezvous mission. It’s called BLACKSAT, but you know little beyond the name. The language on the security documents was pretty severe. There are some peculiar features. The emphasis on EVA
(extravehicular activity) makes sense, but it also seems that you might be bringing non-astronaut personnel along. Who could you be taking into space who is not an astronaut, but who still is entrusted with a secret mission?