After Dinner

Amelie replies, "We do not have to. The B&B is amply stocked." The robo-maid steps over to the supply cabinet and produces a new bottle of premium brand dish soap.

Parish shrugs his shoulders. "If I'm right, I know exactly who that strange skeleton man is and he very much has no idea what is going on at any time." Parish sighs. He really does throw all of us into sharp relief though, doesn't he? All of us here helping because its the right thing to do or because it needs to be done, or even just to help out others. That's what really keeps a place like this running. That;s what's being a found family is all about." Parish smiles at them all. "How many dishes are left?"

Cackling, Cal skids to a stop and looks behind him, eager to see his foes in hot pursuit. But the hallway is empty and silent.

Damn! He was hoping to prove his superiority by outsmarting them during a chase, but they weren't cooperating! They'd probably already found a new bottle of dishwashing liquid, and were laughing at his pointless theft!

"Insignificant buffoons! You think you've got one up on me, but you're sorely mistaken!"

He tosses the bottle aside, and it thunks against the baseboard before rolling to a stop. Thankfully, the plastic doesn't rupture, so nobody has to clean up yet another of his messes.

He then reaches into his costume, grabbing for Ratto. He pokes around in the wrong spot for a few seconds before remembering where his rat minion is located. Finally he pulls her out and holds her in his bone-hand. The rat had been sleeping, per his instructions, and now blinks at him and yawns, wondering why his plans had suddenly changed.

"OK, Ratto, my faithful minion, new mission for you: reconnaissance!"

"Rats!"

This is the only word Ratto utters, but Rag-and-Bones believes he can divine different meanings based on her intonation and body language. In most cases, he's deluding himself.

"Don't give me any backtalk! We must be flexible in the face of adversity!"

"R A T S!"

"Enough! As I said, I need you for reconnaissance. Walk down to the kitchen and eavesdrop on those imbeciles who are cleaning dishes like ignorant peons. It's down the hall, second door on the left. Someone is sure to mention something about Yazeba and her spellbook!"

"ℝ𝕒𝕥𝕤!"

"And do not allow yourself to be seen! We must maintain this Cal Cium disguise!"

"Ⓡⓐⓣⓢ!"

"Oh fooey!"

Though Ratto apparently has reservations, she does as commanded, and skitters down the hallway. But either she didn't understand all of Cal's instructions, or chose to deliberately ignore them, because she abandons all stealthiness. Instead, she walks right into the kitchen and stares up at the cleaning crew.

​"🇷​​🇦​​🇹​​🇸​!"

It comes across as welcoming.

"I must say that over the years, I have found many ways to pitch in here. Night guard, life guard. Lots of guarding really until I tried my hand at cooking. Just keep doings until you find something that feels right. That becomes your job. How many dishes are left?" Parish asks.

"A maid’s work is never done. So why ask if I should get a real job? Because my job is not ‘real’ in the sense it is not humanly possible.

"Therefore, one might interpret a real job as one that is real in the human sense. Ideal work conditions for a human would include a work-life balance. I could fit Rodent Fondness into my life and tea parties with Hey Kid IV.

"So should I get a real job?" Amelie thinks a moment. "I should not. I am programmed to toil endlessly. Therefore, I choose to do what I should not. In moderation." They pet the rat once more and get back to work.

Since Rag-and-Bones/Cal is absent from this scene, Ratto will answer this question...in her head. A real job? Here? In the sanctuary of her master's nemesis? Inconceivable!

Ratto already has a job, anyway: #1 Minion. She (mostly) likes her position, and she doesn't question Rag's determination to bring about the apocalypse. There was anti-rat sentiment everywhere; before she met Rag-and-Bones, Ratto had nearly been exterminated several times by pest control technicians. Maybe things would be better for rodents after the slate was wiped clean, and the world was rebuilt anew.

That being said, Rag could be an insufferable megalomaniac, and his planning sometimes left a lot to be desired.

(This being thought by the rat who just waltzed right into the kitchen, possibly blowing Cal's cover...but I digress.)

She also wished he could be more generous and loving...so when Amelie calls her "beautiful" and "family," something stirs within her tiny rat-brain.

"Rats!"

The closest translation of this would be "Thank you!"

Feeling happy and full of camaraderie, the rat swiftly crawls onto the kitchen counter...then dives into the soapy sink! She bursts to the surface after a beat, a fork in her hand. Floating on her back, she cleans the fork as best she can with teeth, hands/feet, and tail, then tosses it into the adjacent sink to be rinsed and dried.

No, she's not betraying Rag-and-Bones by helping everyone clean! She can still eavesdrop, maybe trick someone into spilling the beans with a persuasive "Rats!" In fact, by helping clean, she's lulling them into a false sense of security. They'll have no idea an enemy spy is in their midst!

(At least, that's what she tells herself....)

Parish chuckles despite himself at Ratto's antics. "That's the spirit, Ratto. Many hands make light work and all that." Parish looks down into the soapy dish water and spies the iron cauldron that Yazeba's insists he uses for soup. Steeling himself he seizes the cauldron, flexes his froggy muscles and heaves it up to give it a good scrubbing. Unfortunately, it almost immediately slips out of his soapy hands and slams back into the sink. Water splashes everywhere and there is a disturbing sound of breaking glass and stoneware.

Parish peers sheepishly at the carnage he has wrought. "Oh dear. How many dishes do you think are left?" He asks starting to the asses the damage.

Parish grabs a pair of tongs and starts fishing out shards of glass and cracked plates. "I suppose this could be seen as a sign." He muses to himself. "Trying to do more does not always lead things being better. I should just keep at it. After all no has asked me to do more."

"Though something new to do might be nice." He murmurs out loud.