Gone Fishin'

Ichor sinks a sharp teeth into the can of soda Parish placed in front of it, loudly guzzling the contents. It lets out a belch before discarding the empty can. "Fishing. Kweh! Fine, I'll try it," it grumbles. The amorphous being transforms its body into a fishing rod, stabbing one of the bait worms with a sharp part of itself before casting into the pool.Ichor mutters to itself as it waits and waits. Finally-- "Ow! Something bit me!" The being reels its own appendage back up out of the water, where a strange fish dangles on the end of its pointed limb. It resembles a sword fish, but its nose ends in a blunt anvil-like growth.

"What is this? Is this a fish?" Ichor asks.

Sal feels a faint tingle of excitement at all the others reeling in their fishes. He especially likes the golden trophy that Amelie caught as it reminds him of the awards he is sure to win for best breakout bluegrass - alt rock - shoegaze - nu metal album. But he pulls his focus back to his own fishing line. Without a bobber, it all comes down to watching the line for movement and the regular beat of a fish on the hook.

Sal may not be as well-prepared for this fishing trip as serious fisherpeople. But Sal knows one thing about fishing - it takes patience. If you reel in your line too early you will miss your chance. And besides, the new song needs a dramatic ending with swelling electronic banjo fills backing some poignant lyrics on the metaphorical significance of fishing in the zeitgeist.

Just as Sal comes up with the liner notes that will go with his new song, he sees the frenetic dance of the line. This is it! Time to haul it in!Sal's hopes are dashed as he sees some sort of giant crawling bug at the end of his line. He quickly cuts the creature loose and tosses it back into the unfathomable deep of the lake.

Amelie is impressed with Sal’s catch.

"That is above-average size for an isopod. And it is not a statue of an isopod, if I am not mistaken, which I am not."

Of course Amelie is aware that their real-gold fake-fish is probably worth something whereas this isopod… well… they think the compliment may have been helpful.

Viv sees the disappointment on Sal's face. She hesitates a moment before quietly stepping over to him. "Do not despair, Night Porter. Perhaps this will help you bring in a mighty catch like the rest of us." She solemnly offers him her Excalibur 2000 fishing rod, the shining silver pole gleaming in the noonday sun.

"Now, I know that is not a fish!" Ichor cackles. "It’s a big, stinky bug! Big and stinky and ugly! Like Parish!" The shapeless thing lets out a sniveling snicker, trying to provoke Parish again.

Sal forces a smile onto his face. "It's definitely a large bug. Maybe even a new record. Heh." Sal clears his throat and takes the Excaliber 2000. He looks it over and tentatively holds it up in the air in the Thundercats pose. He tries to will dramatic music to play in his head.

"I'm sure I will catch the biggest and best fish with this... Thanks Viv." He puts the rod down and begins baiting the hook. The whole time, he is fighting the negative voice in his head telling him it is pointless.

Amelie voices encouragement to Sal.

"I am confident that you have a 67% chance of catching an objectively superior fish and-or crustacean, Sal." They bend him a bobber. "This cube-shaped bobber may produce a more immediate result than your pentagonal-trapezohedron-shaped bobber which has a 40% miss-rate."

Sal raises an eyebrow as he takes the cubic bobber but proceeds to deftly tie it onto the Excaliber 2000s line. "Thanks Amelie," he says politely.

Sal takes a look around the lake, trying to remember where fish like to hide. Was it in reeds? Or around logs? Hmmm. That big creepy bug had thrown off his mojo. He did better trusting his gut rather than getting stuck in his head. Just got to let it flow, like writing a new song, he thinks as he baits the hook with another juicy worm.

Sal draws the fishing rod back and waits, feeling for the right moment and direction. There! He throws the tip forward and to the left. The line reels out in a soft whirr until the hook plunks into the water, startling a dragonfly on a nearby lilypad. Now to wait and see what bounty the lake would provide...

A while later, the line twitches slightly - a fish! Sal reels the catch in without much difficulty. An unusually large fancy goldfish! Maybe not your standard trophy fish, but Sal felt this was more appropriate. He would keep this fish and name it Mojo and take it back to the Bed and Breakfast as a reminder!

Viv's smile is hidden by her long hair. She nods and offers Sal a quiet, "Well done." Inwardly, though, she is buzzing with excitement. This fishing trip turned out to be quite thrilling. She wonders what it might feel like to participate in other sports. Perhaps ones with more physical activity. She daydreams happily as the others chat about their catches.

Ichor eyes the odd fishing hole as the trip starts to wind down. So many strange wonders hidden in its depths. It reminds Ichor of the nameless things it used to spend time with in the bowels of the world. It snickers to itself and sloughs over to Amelie.

"Hey, Robot! This was... this was something. I, uh, I didn’t hate it." Ichor hesitates as if it might say more, but simply sneers "Kweh!" and scurries back towards the B&B.

Amelie senses something has gone awry with their system, but they don’t want to kill the fun by warning the others.

"I am glad you are discovering new things. The people of the B&B have introduced me to many experiences that are outside of my realm of duty, and… it does not make me less efficient.

"It seems to have the opposite effect, as if the new experience is the reason to complete all assigned tasks in a timely manner." Having said something they are not supposed to, the robot lets out a surprisingly feminine chuckle, before they go on in the usual metallic voice, "Not that I have sufficient data to support my claim or anything. But the working theory is that all work and no play makes Amelie a dull…"

A DULL WHAT?
⚠️ABORT TOPIC

"Oh, I’m blathering again," she says with a giggle. "My apologies, Ichor," they say.

After he throws the Excalibur 2000 rod back into the lake for the next fisherperson who needs it, Sal helps the others carry the fish cooler back to the B&B. "Thanks y'all! I had forgotten how enjoyable fishing can be." He smiles and scratches at the several new bug bites on his legs.

He finds an old clear vase in storage that he spruces up and turns into a home for Mojo using a few plastic plants and some colored gravel. The fishing experience has reminded Sal that talent needs hard work to go anywhere and he spends many a quiet night shift writing new songs. Of course, Mojo is always willing to listen and enjoy.