Level 1: All the Single Ladies

PLAYER 2:
SUPER FAIRY GODMOTHERS
💛💛💛💛💛

As the sun rises over the tops of polka-dotted toadstools, smiling at the clouds as it passes by, you notice a turtle seated quite comfortably on a little cloud just his size. He is holding a megaphone and reciting poetry to fey and mortals, great and small!

"Good morning to littles
To bigguns, to all!
Good morning and warning
’Tis time for the ball!
Put on your best dress
But press close to the wall
So you’ll not get stampeded
But guests who are tall!"

The cloud turtle does have a point. Shall you hug the wall, or take to the air?__________

PLAYER 3:
VYNIL FANTASY
🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

You are approached by a girl in a red hoodie and three dworks (dwarven orcs).

The girl says, "Hey! You look like the perfect partner. My BFF, Goldenhood? She bailed on me. And here I am off to the finals in the Great Tag-Team Dance-Off! Wanna take her spot? The price is fifty gees. We win, I’ll give you half."

One of the dworks warns you, "Don’t go to the club, kid. It’s a full moon tonight, and those werewolves can bust moves better than an all-singing, all-dancing zombie apocalypse."__________

PLAYER 4:
FEET OF RAGE
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

You step into the ring, and there he is… sneering at you.

—M. Kangaroo, leader of Shadowroo!

"What I did to your family was the most important day of your life. But for me… it was Tuesday. A particularly rainy Tuesday. The coming rain made my knees ache, and the trickling sound made me regret that second cup of coffee. And while I was in the restroom you talked your father into leaving so I never did get the chance to murder him.

"So I waited… waited for you to grow to adulthood, enter my tournament, earn your way to the final match where you would face MEEEEE!"

He points past your corner of the ring—at a man in the front row—your dad.

"Now instead of murdering your father in front of you, I will out-kickbox you in front of him… and then I will perform my finishing move: The Babality! Your father will have to raise you for ANOTHER EIGHTEEN YEARS! MUUUHAHAHA!"__________

PLAYER 5:
BARBARIC COMMANDO
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

You’re almost at the castle. With the killbot minions reduced to a spark-emitting scrapheap, only the final enemy stands in your way—the ten-foot-tall Mechtate. Its three faces are known…

Kilroy…
Maimroy…
…and Dest-Roy!

You brandish your Level 99 weapon, The Broadsword of the Thundering Tundra!The Mechtate is dual-wielding Gatling Crossbows—AND FIRING AT YOU!

"STOP OR I SHALL SHOOT," Maimroy warns as Kilroy and Dest-Roy sneer maniacally!

PIX:
SUPER✨FAIRY✨GODMOTHERS
💛💛💛💛💛

As Pix darts up to the sky, she looks down at the pretty rainbow lawn below, freshly trimmed by the mowerbeetles! And within seconds, she also notices the gaggle of princesses on the footpath.

"Eep," squeaks a tiny voice below. It’s a brownie! She’s a kind of fairy that’s twice your size, but wingless. The stampeding princesses seem to pay no heed to the earthy-crunchy munchkin. If they’re not careful, that poor little fey will be earthy-crunched!

You could try to swoop and carry her to safety, but she’s too big for you to carry while flying, if at all.

Fortunately, Rose happens to be flying by. "HI hiiiiiiii, Pix! I see that our wingless friend is in a fix. I’ll save her before she’s in a wreck!" Rose waves her Flower Wand… but she gets all trembly-fingers whenever a fairy is about to be trampled.

She drops the wand—

"Whoopsie daisy!"

—and you catch it!

WANDS:🌸"Aaaah, Pix! Please save her!"__________

KURUMI:
VYNIL FANTASY
🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
3 MP

"I knew I could count on you! C’mon—we’re actually running late!"

You run alongside Redilox in an anime cutscene and arrive in a club with slightly older girls in microskirts and men in tight suits. The crowd parts for you, and there it is—the dance floor with tiles that light up in white, in red.

The beat is already starting……and your opponents face you. You know ’em by rep. That’s Big Wolf in the black suit, and Bad Wolf in the red jacket with too many zippers.

Big Wolf and Red begin the dance-off. Redilox is slick and sweet, but Big Wolf is pulling aerials and slides. And my what big eyes he has! Red kicks and twirls and holds her own…

Bug Big Wolf HUFFS… and he PUFFS… and he blows the competition away!!!

Red’s hood catches Big Wolf’s hurricane breath! She cartwheels helplessly through the air and tries to take your hand—but your fingers only touch!

—and now you’re tagged! Fight the wind and DANCE!__________

PIRA:
FEET OF RAGE
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
RAGE:

You manage to get the first attack! But as you attempt the full combo, the stuttering ringside announcer yells, "C-c-c-combo breaker!" It’s very distracting, and as the word ‘breaker’ echoes due to the terrible acoustics, M. Kangaroo leaps so high he’s offscreen!

—until he suddenly slams down feet-first to Crusharoo your head!__________

THUNDRA:
BARBARIC COMMANDO
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
1 MP

You’re too big to dodge all of the bolts, but you wisely armored yourself! Bolts ricochet harmlessly off of your bracers and your very tall boots.

You suddenly get an image in your head of a ginger in red, rapidly kicking… perhaps this inspires you, or maybe it’s you who inspires her. Because your mighty blade slashes, smashes, and bisects the large killbot from cranium to crotch!

Maimroy, the middle head, utters a glitchy "A-A-A-bzzt!" as its eyes dim on each hemisphere of its split head.

Kilroy and Dest-Roy flop like fish! Wires and broken metal snake from the halves of the busted bot! You can step back out of the way, or take your chances and attack at least one of them while they transform.__________

PIRA
You notice a very muscular lady in the crowd, clad in a leather bikini and fur-lined bracers. She’s got abs that put any of your competitors to shame, and her outfit—what there is of it—is refreshingly color coordinated.

Oh.. a bunch of green and fuchsia squares flicker. And now the barbarian girl is gone. Perhaps you imagined her.

PIX:
SUPER✨FAIRY✨GODMOTHERS
💛💛💛💛💛
WANDS x1
WALLFLOWER • 🌸 • EMBIGGEN

Pix’s spell makes the Brownie grow bigger and bigger. The flowers grow too to cover her ever-growing body. Soon she is a fifty-foot-tall jolly green giantess.

"Why, hello, little princesses. I see you have no coach. Shall I give you a hand?"

She offers her hand as a seat. The princesses make sure to giggle at the pun. It’s not only polite, but also just a really bad idea to let a fifty-foot woman’s attempt at humor fall flat.

The giant brownie laughs too. Mountains shake. She tromps off carrying the princesses who are grateful, especially the ex-mermaid with new legs and the one wearing snugly-fitting high-heeled shoes made of glass.

Rose cheers, "Way to go, Pix! You totally earned that wand!"

You can see that the princesses are headed toward Lake Sparkleheart. If you fly there now, you can get there in time to see a romantic sunset. (Or just catch the next one. They happen every 24 minutes.)

After the sunset, you can head into the palace and help Shim match-make… or you can fly up to the starry sky. Liv is probably up there on her Moon Boat. (The moon is always crescent not because of Super Fairy-o World’s shadow, but because the moon is a flying canoe!)__________

KIRUMI:
VYNIL FANTASY
🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
1 MP

Kurumi’s Lunar Leap is gorgeous and dazzlingly brilliant. But so much so that Big Wolf tags Bad Wolf—and they remain on the floor together to perform the Gait of Hell—a popular technique at Evil Dog Shows, but to do THAT on a dance floor? In sync?? And both canines are ALPHAS???

You’re going to have to do one helluva dance combo to top THAT!!!__________

PIRA:
FEET OF RAGE
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
RAGE:🔥

You evade the stomp easily! You clobber M. Kangaroo—he lands on HIS head instead of yours!

Then some complication happens that really ignites your rage-o-meter.

PAUSED

Don’t you hate it when that happens?

__________

THUNDRA:
BARBARIC COMMANDO
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
1 MP

Yeah, you get zapped, but a little pain’s a pittance for the pleasure of driving your magical blade into the heart of a mechanical menace! But before you can complete the coupe de grâce—

PAUSED

—you’re trapped by a Freeze spell!!

You’re pretty sure your Neverwinter Sportbra of Neverwinter Neverwonderland makes you immune to freeze effects. But then, this is unlike any other you’ve seen. Even the clouds drifting past the blood moon have stopped in the sky. And the sky must be hundreds of feet up, if not thousands.

But then you see her again… the redhead. And you’re pretty sure she sees you too.

__________

PIRA & THUNDRA

PIX:
SUPER✨FAIRY✨GODMOTHERS
💛💛💛💛💛
WANDS x1
WALLFLOWER • 🌸 • EMBIGGEN

You realize there is work to be done, so you head over to the castle! The basement window was left open, most likely because Sir Rantsalot’s man cave needs to air out after Uno Night.

You make your way past a table cluttered with folded cards, overturned goblets and bright orange crumbs, and you slip through an inch-wide crack in the wall. You need to keep your wings pressed tightly against your back, contort yourself, shimmy… and don’t forget to duck this time! The Duke of Burl tamped a wad of chewed gum in your secret passage, and it’s not only gross but it takes a week to wash the stickiness from your hair—as Shim learned the hard way!

You get past the obstacle without incident..



…but unfortunately, the pipes that take you to the mini-games where the other wands are earned are both locked. You’ll have to take ‘The Three Pipe.’

__________

KIRUMI:
VYNIL FANTASY
🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

You use the last of your magic—and much to Redilox’s surprise and delight—you outperform both wolves single-handedly!

Red joins you anyway, not quite so radiant like the ray of sunshine that you are! She joins you by performing the Gait of Hell herself, in sync with the wolves—effectively making herself and the opposing team appear to be your back-up dance squad!

It’s a nice little joke, but the crowd knows it’s your Aurora Borealis Boogie that won the day!

Redilox is awarded first prize in cash: FIFTY WHOLE CENTS!!!!!

Still giggling at the wolves as they swear toothy vengeance in the parking lot, she hands you a quarter!

🪙

"Twenty-five paid in full as promised! You earned it, Kurumi! I thought I blew it, and that Lunar Leap seemed to play into the wolves’ strength. But you did that to lure ’em onto the floor and dazzle ’em! We should totally do this again sometime, but you should probably slip out the back way. Second door on the left."

She points the way. You see the door with a big yellow 2 on it. When you glance over to see if Redilox is coming with you, there are but a few red wisps of Ninja Smoke where she once stood!

PIX & KURUMIBefore Pix can make a choice, the pipe sucks her right in—

—the second door on the left! Kurumi wastes no time, only… this door doesn’t lead out of the club. It’s a weird white room with silver pipes… and a statue of a bird-man with a red balloon in hand.

The little fairy finds herself enveloped in a weird red material. The tip of her wand touches it and—

—the ballon pops!—revealing a petite girl in a backless dress! Backless, to accommodate her wings!__________

PIRA & THUNDRAThe freeze spell must be wearing off—

—as steam rises, obscuring your arch nemesis. But not the hot blonde.

Not the witch. If she is a witch. She said she isn’t.

Witches don’t have rage-o-meters.

Witches have pointy hats. Besides, wasn’t there a really cool—

—castle?

—wresting ring?

Witches don’t wrestle… probably.

Hot blondes live in castles… definitely!You can move now, but all you see is green and purple fog. You feel a flat surface beneath your feet, but what you see is fog, everywhere! Green fog, purple fog, and blue and aqua and pink… and nothing and nobody but each other!

FEET OF RAAGE

PIIRAA:
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
RAAGE:🔥

THHUUNDRAA:
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
1 MP

Aas iif to aanswwer Thhuundraa’s qquuestiion, thhe fog graaduuaallyy begiins to diissiipaate. Faadiing iinto vviieww iis aa raathher faamiiliiaar scene, thhouughh not to the baarbaariiaan.

Piiraa recogniizzes thhe siilhhouuette of aa Shhiinto temple, buut somethhiing iis wwrong. Evveryythhiing seems to be movviing slowwlyy, jjerkkiilyy.

Yyouu bothh movve normallyy, buut thhe rest of thhe wworld iis aa-stuutter. Brokken. Thhuundraa’s Swword of thhe Thhuunderiing Tuundraa begiins to emiit aan aaqquuaa gloww!

FEET OF RAAGE

PIIRAA:
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
RAAGE:🔥🔥

THHUUNDRAA:
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
1 MP

Yyouu movve towward thhe Shhiinto temple, thhouughh thhe fog sevverelyy liimiits yyouur aabiiliityy to get aarouund.

Iin faact, thhe closer yyouu get to thhe entraance, thhe closer to iimpossiible iit iis to movve—aas iif thhe aaiir iitself iis aas soliid aas aan iiron mouuntaiin! Jjuust tryyiing to breaathhe iis maakkiing yyouu thhiirstyy!

Fortuunaatelyy, thhere iis aa vvendiing maachiine jjuust ouutsiide thhe temple! Iinsiide iit aare twwo caans of Spriite aand aa bottle of Jjolt.

FEET OF RAAGE

PIIRAA:
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
RAAGE:🔥🔥

Yyouu staart to feel more iin control. The closer yyou get to thhe Shiinto temple, the less jjerky thhe motion. You barely notice the gliitch noww.

Pira gives the vending machine a swift kick in the glass, and smashes it to sixteen bits! It turns out there was a Hero Sandwich inside—a healthier choice than drinking soda.

Speaking of, the Sprite cans are rolling away! All that’s left is the Jolt bottle, but the broken machine is clinging onto its only bottled lightning!

YOU CAN’T STEAL MY THUNDER.
THERE IS A COST.

THUNDRAA:
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
1 MP

Thundraa’s sword emiits phosphoruus sparkks when the machine speaks.

FEET OF RAAGE
Thundra calls out the new form of Kilroy and/or Dest-roy! Surely they have followed her, and the mastermind behind the evil cyber-legion WILL be defeated! She strikes through—and follows up with another strike! She pulls on the bottle with all her might!!

Yet… it is not enough!

Wiithh eaachh striikke, thhe fog protects thhe bottle. The Jolt bottle is very cold. Cold doesn’t bother you anyway, but the point is that this bottle is not just of thunder and lightning, but also Cold. Somehow you feel it is as cold as the Ninth Plane of Hell. But what would you know of such magic? You didn’t even have magic until you reached Lv.99!

The machine speaks again.

THERE IS A COST. THE COST IS PRECISE. TO OBTAIN THIS BOTTLE YOU MUST PAY THE PRICE.

When Thundra removes her hand from the bottle, the fog relents for now. You can smell the bottle’s contents! It smells like—

—the breath of the Drunken Boxing Master from the Fu Bar stage in Hong Kong.

—absinthe.


ITEM ROOM
As Pix speaks to Kurumi, both hear two metallic ‘bonks’ and a shhhhhhhhhhhh… The sound is coming from behind a strange blue bubble on the wall.

ITEM ROOM
Pix’s wand pops the bubble!

Lying on a flashing red floor are two dented green cans, both leaking a bubbly liquid that smells vaguely of lemon or lime. The cans are both labeled "Sprite."

You can tell the liquid is a carbonated beverage like one you might purchase at any under-21 club or Shim’s Royal Soda Fountain.

The cans must have fallen from way, way above! When you look up, the ceiling begins to fade to 50% opacity. Pix and Kurumi are also half-invisible—and the flashing red floor is going up, up, up…!

You’re on a Phase-o-vator! You have never heard that term in your life, but somehow you know this. Or somehow, you’re being told…
PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS AND FEET INSIDE THE PHASE-O-VATOR UNTIL IT HAS COME TO A COMPLETE STOP.

By the time you’re done listening to the echoing feminine voice, the Phase-o-Vator has come to a complete stop.

You are now in a grand city! There are skyscrapers or extremely tall shiny rectangles that probably definitely have minigames inside, and trees that endlessly rain petals of cherry blossoms.

This is obviously—

—the secret area you can find with Rose’s wand!

—Tokyo, a city that has not one but TWO under-21 dance clubs!!

FEET OF RAAGE

YOUR SWORD IS NOT A THREAT TO ME, BUT RATHER A NECESSITY TO PAY MY PRICE OF
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
1 MP

As the machine announces her exact price, Thundra notices a bright red light on the machine flickering on. To the left of its words is a sort of slot. And the words themselves:

1 MP
INSERT
SWORD
~ TO ~
BOARD!
Indeed, Thundra could insert her Sword of the Thundering Tundra into the slot—like how Queen Artemis removed her magic sword from the anvil by the royal stable, though this would be the reverse—including the part where you would lose magic instead of gaining it. But then, you don’t know any spells, so what else could you even do with your 1 MP besides this?

FEET OF RAMPAGE
Just like that, the glitches cease! The strange fog does not dissipate. It rises. It becomes storm clouds. The sky darkens to night. Pix is pretty sure it’ll be daytime again in 12 minutes, night in another 12, and so on…

Thundra and Pira enter the temple through the main entrance. Meanwhile, Pix and Kurumi enter a sky-scraper’s lobby entrance that looks exactly like a samurai-era Shinto temple on the inside which is not strange at all. Obviously, this club is one of those thematic places. Ah yes… they even have play the tai ko!

You can all hear a boom, boom, boom… the beating of a big drum! The tai ko is always played in the Grandmaster’s dojo! This drumming sounds like an elephant’s ass! Amazon drummers put more heart into it and play louder!

You don’t see the drummers… or anyone but each other, for the moment. But as the drumming intensifies, masked men in black tear through walls that seem to be made of paper. They wield katanas (wimpy swords), naginatas (knives on long sticks—a coward’s weapon), and oni clubs. (That is actually an impressive weapon.)STATUS:
PIX:💛💛💛💛💛/🌸•WALLFLOWER
KURUMI:🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷/🪙
PIRA:❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️/🔥🔥🔥
THUNDRA:🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

The men in black all take swings at you—apparently your very presence is provocation enough! Rude. Normal.

A shirtless muscle man swings a club at Thundra, lean samurai draws his katana—slashing at Pix! A coward pokes at Pira like a spear/fisher. And as for Kurumi, a shirtless monk looks as if he wants to pick her up and throw her!

The attack is indeed uncalled for! Pira is not used to a bunch of guys entering what is obviously a ring and striking before the round number has been announced! In fact, the announcer isn’t even here! This is not the Tokyo Pira has frequented throughout her fighting career!

Pix has played plenty of Dodge Block, so while swordplay ain’t no minigame, the objective is very clear: don’t get hit. Being unaccustomed to harming others, Pix uses magic to hinder a foe!

The monk tries to grab Kurumi, but he can’t even catch her! She dances circles around the monk! He flails at the dancer ineffectively!
"Your form is excellent. Perhaps I have underestimated you." He sinks into a lower stance—

—but before he can attack, he’s forced to dodge a spiked club twirling through the air, as Thundra suplexes her foe’s head through the ground!

Pira lands a kick in the chest of her cowardly opponent. He trips over his unconscious friend!As the enemies are trying to get their bearings and finish the job (or get KO’d trying), some of you notice the temple shrine is very bright and colorful because it’s a jukebox!

Thundra KO’s the spear-fisher, and Pira pays the favor forward by brutalizing the monk with a barrage of claw-swipes and kicks! He’s be meditating on his back for the next seven or eight hours.

Kurumi is mesmerized by the juke box, as she should be: it has only one record in it, but it’s a good one!As Pix traps the last of the squad in a warp-wood cage, Thundra gets the sense that it’s time to claim the spoils of skirmish!

She can only carry one weapon because, really, where exactly would she sheathe a spare?

The bargain bin ninja replies, "You brought invaders into our space, Pira T. Piranha. I fought to protect the grandmaster’s temple!

"But I have failed and must fall on my…" He makes a futile attempt to grasp his blade. But the katana is outside the warpwood cage. "Ahh, nuts."

The BOOM BOOM BOOM of the big drum grows ever louder, even as the Hypno Dance song plays.

The walls of the temple start to shake.

The captive points toward a stairwell. "If you seek Aka Nishin, he awaits your team on the third floor. But you must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance! Hahaha, ha ha ha, HA HA heh… huh."

His maniacal laughter quickly fades. It’s really awkward to be the only person laughing while trapped in a cage you can’t even stand up in.

The booming grows louder. Dust and pebbles are shaken from the ceiling. You can feel vibrations along the tatami floor.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Suddenly, flames encircle you! (This really freaks out the guy in the cage!) You shift back to avoid getting singed!Enter nine more men in black—tearing through the paper walls on the north and south sides of the room! Among them is a tall, potbellied graybeard. He speaks. "I am Sheng Long," he drones in a self-important monotone. "You will soon be presented before the Grandmaster.

"—in bodybags!!!"

A bandit leans over and whispers, "There’s no killing. Remember?"

"Then what the hell was the point of sending assassins?!"

The assassin in the warp-wood cage frowns and looks at the floor.

The other eight not-caged bad guys point swords and sais, twirl bo sticks and nunchucks. One guy is holding a durian overhead. Another has both hands by one hip, fire swirling in the space between his open palms. Of the two masked bandits, one is missing an arm.

Sheng Long is unarmed, but surrounded by his eight henchmen. "Prepare to die!"

"No killing."

"—of old age! F**k."

The villains are surprised to see their biggest target dodging easily! They make a tight formation, as if ready to talk things out—but as Kurumi gracefully dances out the flames on her shoes, the nunchuck guy takes a swing.

"Not cool, Mikey! I had a whole monologue ready to go. Now I gotta save it for when we send these ladies TO THE ALLIGATOR PIT…"

Sheng Long’s men give him a horrified stare.

"…where you will feed heads of cabbage to the vegan alligators," he groans. "Alligators these days." He raises his fist and commands his minions: "KNOCK THEIR SOCKS OFF!!"

Thundra KO’s both of her foes with a single CRACK of her ‘bat!’ Kurumi dances past her own opponents—and both heroines are closing in on Sheng Long!

The elderly master assesses the threats, and decides that the larger woman has the mightiest blows, but the dancer has uncanny defensive skills. She is not to be underestimated!

Sheng Long unleashes a flurry of hadoukens!!!Pira takes out one foe. The other attempts a combo attack!Pix is still keeping two of the ninjas at bay! They aren’t used to opponents who can fly!

Flowers grow all about Pix’s opponents! The guy in the cage shakes his head and at the men trapled with him behind the aromatic barrier.

As the last few petals fall from the wand, rather than wither, it starts to glow. Like a phoenix, the seemingly expended Flower Wand blazes with renewed life—as a Fire Flower!

Pira clobbers her remaining opponent! Thundra unleashes barbarian heck on Sheng Long! He’s about to retaliate with his famous Cheap Punch, Cheap Punch, Turbo Uppercut combo—

—but Kurumi and two back-up-dancing ninjas are more than the boss can bear! Like his minions, Sheng Long is spiral-eyed from hypnosis!

Warrior princess that she is, Thundra wastes no time leading the party to the chamber of Aka Nishin. There’s a boom-boom-boom sounding off as our heroines ascend the steps to the top floor.

The sound is not a drum. It’s coming from outside.

At the top of the steps, you see more men in black. Dozens of them. But before you can do more than adjust your stances, they step aside, kneel in seiza position, and bow—hands on the floor, foreheads lowered to their hands.

The men are lined in columns, leaving you a wide path to the one man still standing. He is dressed in red, costume fish-themed similarly to Pira’s.

As you walk past the men, to either side of you are stone gardens with tiny waterfalls. One might expect calico koi swimming between the pools, but the only fish are aka nishin. Red herrings.

Aka Nishin bows as masters bow to equals, deftly—hands by his side, thirty degree angle, eyes meeting yours.

"It is said that one must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance. You defeated him easily, and in a way that bruised his ego more than his body. There is no further need to test you."

When he stops speaking, you notice the boom-boom-boom comes and goes. You hear other sounds accompanying it. A cracking sound. Something distant, high-pitched… birds? A whole flock in a panic?

"Pira. These friends of yours are not the only outsiders that have mysteriously invaded our world. When the machines overtook Australia, you were whisked away by their… portal.

"M. Kangaroo remained behind and, as one might predict, he aligned with them. He embraced the change."

Pix, Kurumi and Thundra are very familiar with Questgivers. They tend to be very capable of solving any problem on their own or have an army at their command, yet they always ask a young warrior to solve everything on her own, or with a teammate or three.

Pira knows this Aka Nishin guy has her same move set that she had in her earlier days, yet somehow, she recognizes him as being legitimately a master. Maybe it’s because he’s old. In any case, she can sense there won’t be a fight in here. If she wants to know what’s happening to her world (or the tournament), this guy might actually have answers.

FEET OF RAMPAGE
20XX SIDEQIX LTD.Aka Nishin escorts you to the balcony. What you see is chaos and destruction! There are panicking crowds fleeing as a skyscraper starts to crack… crack—CRACK! Black jagged lines zigzag all over the concrete structure, expelling rubble. Windows spiderweb and burst! The 14th floor collapses to the 12th floor, the 47-story building becomes 45 stories tall, 39… dust billows as the whole thing comes crashing down!

Through the haze, you see it. You see him. A kangaroo standing several stories tall, eyes glowing metallic blue. Behind him, a wake of destruction. You can only see what’s left of broken buildings.

Aka Nishin says to Pira, "No taxi is crazy enough to take you to Kanga-Roy." How the master already knows the bad guy’s name and why it isn’t Kill-Roo, which sounds better, is best left unasked. "You must travel on foot."

A street lamp topples, the light bursting into shards and sparks as it collides with the temple rooftop. Pira, Thundra and Kurumi can slide down the metal pole——from the street, you can see the tromping feet up ahead, and through the dust clouds, the shadow of the colossal mechanized beast! As it thrashes about, there are panicking crowds. And among the screams, you hear cries for help!

A woman’s voice is coming from within the smoky cracked windows of a flaming car! Its hood is mashed against the corner of a building that’s on the verge of collapse!

A man with a tire iron is trying to pry open a bent door, but he drops his tool as he is pelted by rubble raining down from above!You’re several blocks away from the metal monstrosity! You somehow get the feeling none of the innocent people will die if you dash past them to the enemy… but isn’t saving the innocent what heroes do?

Kurumi and Thundra save the innocents at ground level. But suddenly there is another yelp from high above!

You all look up to see a carpenter in red overalls. He’s clinging to a purple girder protruding from a broken building—but his white gloves don’t have the best grip.

He falls, arms flapping wildly as he screams,

M
A
M
A

M
I
A
A
A
A
A
A
.
.
.


Pix swoops into the air and catches the rotund little workman!

"Oh! Thank-a you!" he says in a bizarre accent. His bushy moustache perks to match the shape of his smile as the fairy carries him off to safety!

Pira contemplates her teammates’ heroic efforts. It is a very real possibility that, if nobody finds a safe route to the gargantuan laser-eyed robo-monsteroo, well… that’s how heroines get laser-eyed.

But then, they’re heroines! Saving people is the bandwagon a hero should jump on. So, Pira taps that Jump button, and with all the people on the block already rescued, she finds the next-cutest victim: an arm fulla kittens!

The lady in the car, the guy told to go home, and the crazy cat lady give three cheers for our three heroines!

"HIP HIP H🩷❤️R🩵Y!!"

Unfortunately, this draws a lot of unwanted attention from the aforementioned laser-eyed kanga-bot!

It shouts,
"TASTE A RAINBOW OF PAIN."

It then fires lasers from its eyes, and they are entirely fuchsia, which is not anybody’s idea of a rainbow. Kanga-Roy might have been a lot more accurate about the pain part. Dodge lasers to not find out!

Thundra’s charge nearly draws laser-eyed wrath from Kanga-Roy—but Pira’s taunt prompts the giant robot to turn its gaze to her.

"FAIR AND SQUARE IS THE PROBLEM… I ONCE HAD AN UNBLOCKABLE FULL-SCREEN ATTACK. I HAD A DOUBLE JUMP WITH A TRIPLE AERIAL FIREBALL. AND THE SHIN-KANGA UPPERCUT…

"IT WAS NERFED.

"WHY?"


The giant robot kicks a taxi cab in frustration.

The cab twirls through the air and is headed straight for Thundra!Nothing is stopping Pira from charging straight at the enemy, and Kurumi managed to sneak up on the mechanical menace! Maybe our heroines can topple Kanga-Roy before it destroys the city! (Or what’s left of it.)

Every strike makes a dent in the oversized opponent! Thundra’s super strength knocks a screw loose!

"‘BABY’ YOU SAY... I WILL FINISH YOU WITH MY BABAL I TY."

The cityscape darkens like a moonless night. Kangaroo-Roy’s glowing eyes illuminate its target.Apparently, Pira’s taunt reminded Kanga-Roy of a promise.Thundra and Kurumi might surmise that the monster is more Kanga than Roy at the moment, and whatever it wants to do to Pira is probably really bad!

What can they do?

"FRIENDSHIP? FRIENDSHIP?!"

The unfashionable smash-bot is flustered by Pira’s retort. Its eye-beams melt steel and shatter glass as it fires through three skyscrapers. Its Kanga-Box Combo bursts a water tower and topples twin smokestacks from the Steel Factory! It Reppa-Headbutt-Mashes a rooftop seconds after Pira leaps to safety! And its Combo Finish, Babality Breath, simply transforms a tree in the central park. It shrinks to become a healthy little sapling.

Thundra shatters her spiked club over Kanga-"Boy’s" metal head! Kurumi spin-kicks it in the teeth! And Pira adds injury to insult—only striking once, because one hit is all she needs…



There’s a deafening crash! The ground quakes! Our heroines instinctively bolt to safety…

---

…somehow they know the people of Neo Kobe were safely evacuated. And they made it out too, though they don’t recall running very far.

Kurumi, Pira and Thundra can feel cool grass at their backs. The air is pleasant, the fresh scent of spring blossoms in a gentle wind. Sunbeams dance through a misty mid-morning sky.