Quote:
In all his training Spax had never heard or seen anything like this. The red monstrosties looked as if they were a plague.
Seeing Zast attacked Spax opens his hull. He suddenly feels a wave of worry course through him and answers instinctively, "It's okay Gion, I know what I'm doing. Just get those blast pylons fired up and ready to go." Almost immediately the two tall backwards facing rocket boosters mounted on Gion's gigantic shoulders begin to hum to life, the small blast doors on the front of the pylons clicking open and a red glow forms from inside each of the rockets.
Kicking at a release toggle, the hatch in Spax's Defenser's chest slides open with a coarse chuff.
Once the hatch is open, the muffled sound from inside the defensers cabin fall away and the unobstructed environment bursts noisily into Spax's ears. The sounds of grating metal, unholy screams from the monsters, and the constant whine from the Maelstrom are almost enough to make Spax's head swim for a moment. However his Guardian training pushes him forward with dedicated resolve. Spax focus his attention to Zast below him, and points his palm at the spider demon holding Zast's broken arm and fires. "ZAST! HOLD ON!!!"
(OOC: My intention is to fire my cable into the red spider thing and while still being strapped in Gion recoil the whistler and pull the baddie and in turn Zast towards myself. Then fire off the blast pylons and get us the hell out of there. Then hopefully my actions will spur the others into a retreat while Spax drops Zast off to return to Gurrai while he returns to the battle to help whomever he can.)
This is getting seriously epic, and I want this to happen! I'm loving this description, I was planning to write like this but was worried I'd geek everyone out. No longer (loving the blast pylon activation!)
(Thank you. Your story is making it easy to get into character and get detailed!)
However, there are some issues.
First, to fire the pylons you have to manually activate them, hitting the BIG RED BUTTON. Gion won't follow voice commands yet.
(I guess I thought my Talks to Machines Foci would at least let us pass some sort of communication between Gion and Spax. It's mostly a descriptor, to set the scene, Spax is still inside the cockpit and will be the one to push the button and not Gion remote starting. I just wanted there to be a lead up to the moment before he slammed that button! "Oh crap! Is he really thinking of doing that?!")
Second, the whistlers only attach and pull you too magnetic objects like the metal of Defensers, they can't pull flesh beings to you.
(I was going to use it like an improvised weapon. Anything with the kind of force to shoot the gap between two Defensers oughta punch at least a little hole in something squishy like the red spider thing. That or maybe wrap/tangle around its body somehow.)
Third, unless it's simple like walking across a room, you must provide rolls for actions, and your action was pretty complex.
(Gotcha. I just didn't know what to roll. Would it be useful to just roll after every post that I think takes an action? Or I guess not, then I'd be screwed if I wanted to use Effort. Nevermind.)
And last, consider how long a round is, about 6-10 seconds. For example, if you jump on Zast's defenser and then kill the crawler holding him that'd be one round, and then getting back to Gion with him another, as I can't imagine all that happening in 6-10 secs.
(That sounds pretty cool too!)
And just a warning: You don't want to hit that big red button, unless it's a horrible emergency. It's pretty vicious and has been known for concussions and occasional deaths. (like airbags).
Can you reword it a bit, and split it into two actions? (unless you can do it in one)
In my mind Spax is still strapped inside Gion. When he kicks the chest plate hatch open and sees Zast, I thought he'd be looking down on the scene, given that Gion is pulling him along. Then he'd aim and fire the whistler (1 action) and if it hit its target (a roll of some kind?) then we'd go from there.
If it punctured the red spider thing... Awesome! If it hit Zast's Defenser... Okay. If it hit Zast... Uh oh.
If the cable did hit the spider thing and presumably put a hole into it, I was hoping that since it'd be holding tightly to Zast that if I pushed the red button and fired the blast pylons then we'd all go backwards. Of course I guess, Gion could just walk/jump backwards and have the same effect as moving away, just in my mind not as cool as those crazy powerful blast pylons. Which I imagined Spax having no earthly idea how powerful they really are, so the force of it may actually injure/kill Zast or maybe even himself... whoops. Then that'd be a cool mental scar Spax would have to deal with.
Anyway, just my thoughts. I'm not upset at all, in fact the opposite, I'm enjoying the story a lot and I agree with Senpaiki, that I really am pretty scared that my character/others might die. Crazy cool.