Mar 24, 2025 3:26 pm
THE WATERFRONT
After a night of travel to the east side of the island, you arrive at the waterfront. Three kitsune take you to a smaller island on a ferry. The one in gold remains on her boat. The one in blue lounges on the largest branch of a cherry tree, seemingly more interested in the fairies fluttering about her.
But most curious of all is the one in pink, who greets the audience in Japanese before following up with an English translation.
"Ladies and gentlemen, catfolk and kitsune, please give your warmest welcome to our American guests. I will introduce them ladies first, as they say in the west.
"We have the most honorable Murasaki, master of the ten thousand secrets! We have Gong-Ju, the mightiest warrior princess of the sea! And, there has been an unexpected twist: Casey Mulbruk has joined THE B☢️MBSHELLS! This is her debut battle. We shall see how she completes the trio, eh?"
The ferryvixen beams with pride at her friend’s fluent Canadian.
"This turnaboot, however, has complicated the final battle. And so the Golden Boys tag-team has accepted a new member to even the odds."
The Golden Boys step down the natural rock steps leading from the pagoda. The red sail obscures them from your view as each emerges one by one.
"You are surely most familiar with the luchador, the Golden Rooster!"
As the audience squints from the blinding dawn, the Golden Rooster flashes a gold-toothed smile. "Fuck, yeah, I’m awesome!"
The kitsune emcee does not find his language awesome. She introduces the next Golden Boy.
"This is Golden Rod, who earned his nth degree Gold Belt in Lost Vegas, the city that leads to many other dimensions from which few warriors return."
Rod tells the MC, "It’s really not that ominous. Some warriors just like what the other dimensions have to offer. It’s a big multiverse out there, eh?"
The ferryvixen nods in approval at the bilingual fighter’s superior Canadian. The fairies swoon.
"Why are they looking at me like that?" Rod asks the MC nervously. Then to the ferryvixen and the fairies, "L-ladies, p-please… I’m a fighter. Not a lover."
The last to emerge into view is very familiar to most of the team.
"—a man who needs no introduction—"
🕺
Golden Chad
"But I’ll introduce myself anyway," Chad interrupts. His voice is metallic and distorted. Murasaki notices how different he is, like the fembots she saw with Casey.
He glares at Murasaki and Gong-Ju. "Bill was pretty pissed when you beat his Killaz. So he sent some of his assassins after me. Do you believe the nerve? Blew me to fucking bits.
"Fortunately, I made a deal with Bob Evil, CEO of EvilCo. If I died, he would make a gold robo-me so I can avenge my own death. Unfortunately, the lady who was supposed to slip in the Override chip quit!" He turns his gaze to Casey. "So now, thanks to YOU, I have to follow that don’t-kill-humans bullshit just like those fembots who aided your escape!
"So I WANT to kill you all—but I fucking CAN’T. So the closest I can come to avenging my own death is to beat you fair and square in an official tournament! I can’t even kill you by accident. GODDAMMIT!"
Rooster says, "Dude."
Rod says, "Take a chill pill."
Chad screams, "Pills don’t do shit! I’m a robot!"
The MC says, "No need to chill. This is championship match. Everyone fight when I say ‘eh!’"
—which she just said!!!
After a night of travel to the east side of the island, you arrive at the waterfront. Three kitsune take you to a smaller island on a ferry. The one in gold remains on her boat. The one in blue lounges on the largest branch of a cherry tree, seemingly more interested in the fairies fluttering about her.
But most curious of all is the one in pink, who greets the audience in Japanese before following up with an English translation.
"Ladies and gentlemen, catfolk and kitsune, please give your warmest welcome to our American guests. I will introduce them ladies first, as they say in the west.
"We have the most honorable Murasaki, master of the ten thousand secrets! We have Gong-Ju, the mightiest warrior princess of the sea! And, there has been an unexpected twist: Casey Mulbruk has joined THE B☢️MBSHELLS! This is her debut battle. We shall see how she completes the trio, eh?"
The ferryvixen beams with pride at her friend’s fluent Canadian.
"This turnaboot, however, has complicated the final battle. And so the Golden Boys tag-team has accepted a new member to even the odds."
The Golden Boys step down the natural rock steps leading from the pagoda. The red sail obscures them from your view as each emerges one by one.
"You are surely most familiar with the luchador, the Golden Rooster!"As the audience squints from the blinding dawn, the Golden Rooster flashes a gold-toothed smile. "Fuck, yeah, I’m awesome!"
The kitsune emcee does not find his language awesome. She introduces the next Golden Boy.
"This is Golden Rod, who earned his nth degree Gold Belt in Lost Vegas, the city that leads to many other dimensions from which few warriors return."Rod tells the MC, "It’s really not that ominous. Some warriors just like what the other dimensions have to offer. It’s a big multiverse out there, eh?"
The ferryvixen nods in approval at the bilingual fighter’s superior Canadian. The fairies swoon.
"Why are they looking at me like that?" Rod asks the MC nervously. Then to the ferryvixen and the fairies, "L-ladies, p-please… I’m a fighter. Not a lover."
The last to emerge into view is very familiar to most of the team.
"—a man who needs no introduction—"
🕺
Golden Chad
"But I’ll introduce myself anyway," Chad interrupts. His voice is metallic and distorted. Murasaki notices how different he is, like the fembots she saw with Casey.
He glares at Murasaki and Gong-Ju. "Bill was pretty pissed when you beat his Killaz. So he sent some of his assassins after me. Do you believe the nerve? Blew me to fucking bits.
"Fortunately, I made a deal with Bob Evil, CEO of EvilCo. If I died, he would make a gold robo-me so I can avenge my own death. Unfortunately, the lady who was supposed to slip in the Override chip quit!" He turns his gaze to Casey. "So now, thanks to YOU, I have to follow that don’t-kill-humans bullshit just like those fembots who aided your escape!
"So I WANT to kill you all—but I fucking CAN’T. So the closest I can come to avenging my own death is to beat you fair and square in an official tournament! I can’t even kill you by accident. GODDAMMIT!"
Rooster says, "Dude."
Rod says, "Take a chill pill."
Chad screams, "Pills don’t do shit! I’m a robot!"
The MC says, "No need to chill. This is championship match. Everyone fight when I say ‘eh!’"
—which she just said!!!
