Moon Prince Gets a Job

Gertrude takes the sofa by the window with the best view. It could seat three… or one, if one were to put her feet up on it.

"SLLLLLLUURRRRRRRPPP-P-P-p-p—p…….p."

As he sips his latte, the liquid spilling from his empty rib cage to stain his suit, the skeleton approaches Gertrude. "Good day, masked girl whom I have never met before. The name’s Bones. James Bones. I couldn’t help but notice you’ve got an air of mystery about you, whereas I am an Intranational Undead Man of Mystery. I like the cut of your jib, understand?

"Maybe you can help me. I’m looking for a certain spellbook. It is of vital importance that it not fall into the wrong hands. So, I need you to help me get into my hands. What say you? Will you help me?"

The small rat peeks out from the skeleton’s pocket and sniffs at Gertrude, frowning. She can sense something is off with the girl. "Rats?" she squeaks with concern.

Gertrude replies, "Yes. Climb onto the rooftop, Mr. Bones. Stand on the west side of the chimney, walk ten clicks forward. Baby-clicks, mind you. Nine clicks would drop you off the roof if you walked adult-clicks. Point forward at the tree before you—the greenest one. Memorize its location, count three trees right, six trees up—as in toward the horizon. Go to that tree, and when you arrive, step ten adult-clicks south, rotate yourself eighty-nine degrees counterclockwise—like a full left turn, but stop just short, and climb over the larger rock, not to be confused with the largest.

"There, you dig. The hollow with the bag in it with the box in it has the book in it. By it, I mean the box in the bag in the hollow. It’s three feet under. Now laugh like I told a joke with an uproariously hilarious punchline, so suspicion is not aroused."

Whether he laughs or buys the lie or pretends to or not, Gertrude adds in a hushed tone, "Tell. No one."She does that shushy thing where you put the index finger to the mask-lips. And while Bones is making eye-contact, Gert feels like petting the rat.

"Nyeh, heh, heh!" Bones, James Bones laughs obligingly! Ratto accepts Gertrude’s petting, but she still looks concerned. But she is soon whisked away as the skeleton casually gets up, finished his drink, and heads for the exit. "Come, Ratto, we know where to look now. It’s all going according to my plan!"

The Ptisilith suddenly floats forward, moving around Yazeba to get to the front of the line.Once it gets there, it hovers silently for several moments. Then, it lets out a low hum. Several of the words on the menu suddenly animate and swirl around one another: "The Stew," "Portly," "Chocolate," and "Cupcake." Then the words return to their normal spot, and the Ptisilith waits patiently...

The Ptisilith hurtles to the far end of the cafe! It bumps into Muckleby, bouncing harmlessly off of her quivering bulk. "Tee hee! That tickles!" Muckleby giggles. The floating stone then knocks into the cafe's doorframe, ricochets into an unoccupied table, and finally arrests its motion, slowly floating back to the counter behind Yazeba.

Moon Prince is about to start the Ptisilith's order right as it goes hurtling across the cafe into Muckleby. I guess it wasn't quite ready to order after all. So mysterious they think to themselves before turning to take Yazeba's order.

"Madam Yazeba, how are you today? I'll get started on your order right away."

MP turns from the register, thinking about Yazeba's order. Travolta could only mean Greased Lightining, so they take a thimble sized cup, and pour espresso into it. And wasn't the one that Travolta wanted a Pink Lady? So that must mean something pink. Moon Prince scans the ingredients and notices the hibiscus tea leaves. Aha, pink! They grab a handful of those and add them into the drink. Then an ice cube to make it cold and a squeeze of sticky honey. And the drink is done.

Moon Prince returns to the counter with the drink and hands it to Yazeba. "Enjoy!" they say cheerfully.

Gertrude zips behind the counter.

"Allow me to assist you." The masked voluntary temp repeats the witch’s order. "One little John, cooler than a Saturday Night Fever, and as sticky as Grease isn’t."

She moves the mixing cup from lever to lever, squirting in the various correct ingredients!She hands the drink to Yazeba. "Here ya go. And… here I go. Niiinjaas vanishhhhh…"Gertrude slowly ducks behind the counter and vanishes from every customers’ sight.

(The Moon Prince and anyone else behind the counter sees Gert on the floor, slowly stealth-crawling toward the back room.)

"Thanks, G!" the Moon Prince whispers as Gertrude takes over. They lean against a counter to rest, glad for a moment to breathe during the crush of customers. Being busy on their feet was quite tiring.

As Gertrude does her vanishing trick, Moon Prince stifles a smile and then gets up quickly to dramatically look around in wonder. "Oh my! Where did that masked hero go?!" they say hoping to distract everyone else as Gertrude crawls toward the back.

"Nrt ’ere," Gertrude mumbles as she gradually continues her eventual escape.

Gert rises and immediately replies to Yazeba in an emotionless, informative tone, "You mispronounced ‘you’re welcome.’"

She then volleys over the counter and reaches toward her unfinished drink. It zips across the room and into her hand.

Gert sips it casually.

The Ptisilith glides up to the counter and repeats its previous order. "The Stew," "Portly," "Chocolate," "Cupcake."

---

Feeling physically rested after Gertrude's help, but still stung from Yazeba's outburst, the Moon Prince comes around to the front of the counter with a broom, dustpan, and absorbent towels. After cleaning up the remains of the tea and coffee swill, they return back behind the counter to empty the remnants into the trash. But still replaying the failure in their head, they forget to raise the dustpan high enough to clear the rim of the bin and it all spills back out onto the floor again. So they clean it up again with a barely audible sigh.Moon Prince returns to the counter and the Ptisilith. "Thank you for your patience. I'll get to work on your drink." Despite the frantic pace so far, Moon Prince is starting to feel a bit more comfortable mixing the drinks now. They mix up a Portly Stew with Chocolate without any problems, going slow but steady. They turn with the drink and a marble cupcake on a plate. They consider trying to hand the order to the large stone, but unsure of how that might work, they instead just push it across to counter toward it. "Enjoy."

The Ptisilith hums, and the drink and cupcake suddenly disappear. Several crisp dollar bills sit on the counter in their place. The obelisk then floats away.

Finally ready for her turn, Mel lopes up to the counter. She grins at Moon Prince and Gertrude, tongue lolling from her mouth. "Hey there, pups! Gimme a Cuppa Joe, with extra coffee, cream, and whipped cream!" she says, her tail wagging happily.

"Hey Mel! One cuppa joe coming right up." Unsure of the size, Moon Prince steals a glance back at the werewolf. Definitely a Dangerous cup they think.

Feeling better about this whole job thing, Moon Prince decides that some friendly chit chat is something that happens in coffee houses in tv and movies and so they should try to "banter."

"Hows your stay at the B&B going so far? Have any fun adventures?" But doing two things at once is harder than they thought and they put in hot chocholate instead of extra coffee, moon milk instead of cream, and marshmellows instead of whip cream.

Unaware of the mistake, they hand the beverage across the counter to Mel with a smile.

"So far, so good," Mel says. She takes a sip of the drink—

—and promptly spits it out in the counter! "Awroo! What is this?!?" she howls. "This isn’t what I ordered! It’s... blecch! Disgusting!"

The werewolf slams her fist on the counter. "I’m not paying for that foul brew! Grr!"

Mel storms off to cool down in the corner of the cafe. Eventually, she grumbles and gets back in line behind Mr. Boggs and Muckleby, who has returned for a second order.