Wash Cycle

Sal lets out a low whistle as he looks over the vast landscape of laundry piles that fill the room. He looks at Gertrude and the others who he's managed to corral into helping get the task done. "Alright, folks. I've got to finish the letter I'm writing to a talent scout, so let's buckle up and get this done. Grab some pantalones and toss 'em in the washer!"

He aims to lead by example, gathering up an armful of dirty clothes.

Gertrude regrets offering to help as they descend into the foul smelling laundry room. But she doesn't see any way out except forward. So she grabs a handful of towels to start helping.But the smell of ammonia and sulfur rises off the towels making her eyes water behind her mask. "Ugh, is that Dog, Dog, N'Dog pee?! Why is it on the towels?! Barf." She manages to turn her head and keep working.

The enormous lava elemental thumps into the laundry room. He's been wanting to try out a new trade and launderer seems as good as any other.

"I'm on it, Sal!" he says in a deep voice as he grabs a huge armful of dirty shirts and brings them to the washing machine.

Amelie is overhead in the hall, talking to someone.

"I will be fine. I am getting the hang of pyromancy. I can still warm the clothing that is being washed."

"But who will hang the laundry my dear," Demi asks as the escorts the one-armed maid into the laundry room.

And immediately regrets it.

"Apparently me."

Looking into the eyes of the laundry crew, the star is too proud to back down.

"Of course, me! I’m practicing for a role. Snakes on a Maid. It’s true! Amelie, you play the master of the house. Say the line I told you earlier."

Amelie places their left hand on their left hip, and their right shoulder is vaguely shifted toward Demi. If there were a hand, Amelie would point or finger wag or shake a fist, perhaps.

"I have had it with these adult language snakes on this adult language maid."

Demi purses her lips.

"Well these snakes work just as hard as I do, so they deserve a maid’s wage each!"

"That is a great line. So I assume your snakes also get paid as actresses."

Demi gives her purse a look that could turn her cell phone to stone.

"I am so calling my agent…

"After my work here is done, that is! How can I—oh!"

She grabs a filthy tee-shirt. It smells of dog urine, but triple the intensity. She holds it away from her face, arm outstretched, gripping a dry spot with thumb-and-index-fingernail. The snakes on her head lean away, their tiny faces puffing from holding their breath.

"It’s a hard knock life
For me
Why does this tee smell
Like pee..?"

Sal waves at Demi and Amelie. "Hey, hey! The more the merrier! See, Gert, it's like they say: teamwork makes the dream work!" He pats the masked teen on the shoulder, then reaches for another bundle of dirty clothes to stuff into the washing machine. He shuts the door and turns it on, washing as sudsy water fills the device and it begins to rattle and shake.

Gertrude stifles a sigh seeing how much more laundry is left. She would rather be working on her Heartsword story. She had just thought of a good line for Captain Redtooth during the fight at Brackled Bay and didn't want to forgot. Teamwork wasn't helping that dream work.

Still distracted, Gertrude grabs the load out of the washer and starts to walk over to the dryer. But then stumbles in the mass of sheets strewn on the floor and falls face first into them with the load of clean clothes.

She pushes herself up - only to realize the sheets somehow had mustard and bits of corned beef on them. And it is now on her hands. "OMG thats foul! Why is anyone eating lunch IN BED! Ugh!"

Percy rushes over and helps Gertrude up. He grabs a clean pair of pants the she just took out of the washer and starts wiping the smeared mustard and beef bits off her.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry Gertrude! That's terrible."

Amelie isn’t going to be terribly useful with one arm… except when it’s time to dry.

"This is my moment to shine."

Demi starts to hang clothes by the warmth of the flame Amelie holds up in their left hand.

"Ooh! Beautiful! Such dramatic lighting!" Indeed, the shapes and colors of the clothing fill the room with dancing shadows and warm colors.

"Reminds me of the stagehand I married… ever faithful to the craft, he left me, but is still backstage this very day…"Demi is getting the hang of this ‘maid role.’ She moves the next load of smelly clothes, which also reminds her of an ex-husband. This time, she keeps the story to herself…

"On your feet, Gert! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and let's keep it moving!" Sal says encouragingly. He waits for Demi Gorgone to step out of the way before dumping another armful of dirty laundry into the washing machine.

---

Percy grabs another huge armful of dirty clothes. This time they are stinky, soiled socks. But ignoring the smell, he takes them over to the washer that Gertrude is loading.

"Laundry is such an important but unappreciated chore. You take something dirty and make it clean! And there is nothing quite as wonderful as freshly laundered clothes - the smell, the feel. So satisfying," Percy says.

"I guess that's one way to look at it," Gertrude says as Percy hands the dirty socks over for her to load. She grabs them and stuffs them all into washer as quickly as she can.

Then she steps away and lets out the breath she was holding. "But that doesn't make the smells any worse," she mutters to herself.