Al and Erevain

"And that is why I speak of this now." He puts a hand on her arm. "When will there’s be no war? When will a child not be a burden? When will we be able to choose life, to make something rather than simply destroy?" He sighs. "Well, we are building your orc tribe. But that is not what I mean..."

Alalla frowns. "You haven't heard me at all. There's a difference between a burden and a life-threatening danger. If I were to become pregnant now, I doubt I would survive it, and my life is bigger than me now.

I don't know when things will be better. I don't have an elf's perspective to survey history and find a solution. All I have is my life now. And now is critical. My orcs are only some of the people relying on me, and it was you who convinced me to take responsibility for them. You decided to become a part of this even though I told you not to."

She shakes her head. "I've given you everything about myself I could spare- Ive literally given heart and soul!- and I'll continue to, because you deserve it all. But I can't give you this. You deserve it too, but there are too many people who would suffer if I gave you my life. That's what you're asking for." She looks away. "I can't put you above them all. I've done- I'm doing- everything I can to make sure there will be a time when I can. That's the best I can do. That's the best answer I can give."

Erevain puts a hand to his head and nods. "You are right. Just... forget that I mentioned it. We will get through this war, the same way we have gotten through everything else."

Alalla nods, inadequacy settling like a burr into her dragon heart. "Sure."

She stands and begins to get ready for bed, back to Erevain. "We'll make it through. It's all we can do."

Alalla takes her place near the cave entrance to watch. With an army camper around, she is tempted to be less vigilant, but the devils are crafty. She must be aware. Even so, her mind is troubled.

Keeping careful watch on her surroundings, Alalla opens her mind and reaches out to Torm.

My Lord, thank you for the protection and strength you have given me today. I wouldn't have made it through without it, I have no doubt.

I... have a couple of questions, if you have answers you are willing to give. First... She shifts her seat, getting a slightly better vantage point on the tundra around them, and pulls her cloak around herself. Within an inner pocket a piece of paper crinkles, and the names written on it start to play in her mind.

I lost some people today. They fought bravely to protect, and paid their lives so that others could live. Now they must be with Gruumsh.

Is there anything that can be done for them? They already decided to shun Gruumsh, but they didn't have the chance to choose you, or any others. Are they doomed for eternity? The torture he must have for them especially...

Here in this place, Alalla does not receive a vision as she did before. Nor does she hear Torm’s voice as she once heard Sharagaas’. But she does feel a sincere impression of her god’s thoughts.

Gruumsh is a god of tyranny - in many ways an embodiment of injustice. His very influence is a perversion of what *should* be. Yes, the lost orcs should be granted a chance to choose, but with Gruumsh’s claim on them Torm can do nothing. But doomed for eternity? Only so long as Gruumsh holds the power to exert his influence.

Alalla understands that Torm is still working his way through divine law to have Gruumsh’s authority revoked. But when will that finally be realized? If it does occur, millennia may have passed by then. Still, that is a hope that ‘eternity’ may one day end for the countless orcs currently enslaved by the One-Eyed God.

Even in the light of this uncomfortable truth, Torm shares his approval of Alalla’s actions so far. There are many orcs among the Cagebreakers who are ready to swear the oaths. Rather than breaking their spirits, Gruumsh’s injustice has wrought in them a desire to seek out a better way. And they will inspire more. In the whole history of orckind, there may never have been such a powerful shift in behavior, mind, and spirit of a group of orcs. And that is something that Gruumsh fears.

Thank you, my lord. A hope is so much better than we had before, let alone a god on our side doing work to free us. If Al can feel emotions and thoughts from Torm, then she imagines he can feel her genuine gratitude. If so, however, that means he can feel her apprehension, as well.

Might as well get on with it.

My second question is more personal. Not long ago Ilmater performed what I would call a miracle. He loosed Ilmadia from her pact with Belhifet and burned away her chains. It was tactically advantageous. Removing one of Belhifet's generals and having her knowledge on our side is no small thing. Even so, she was not a good person.

Erevain is also bound to Belhifet, but his choices haven't hurt anyone but me, and I've forgiven him. Can a similar mercy be extended to him, who was only trying to repair my mistakes and help the North? Who has always worked to protect anyone he can?

I realize that you are not Ilmater, and my family is very different from Zenithral's. I have no right to be judging of Ilmater's choice or Ilmadia's worthiness, and I'm not. I just..."

She falters. I need him. Not just as my husband, but as a counsellor to me as chieftess. I would not be doing any of this without him, and without him I won't do nearly so well. And he wouldn't have made the deal he did if not for me. Belhifet tricked and manipulated us both, but I'm to blame. I should have been more vigilant. More steadfast. I-

Enough, Al.

Alalla bows her head briefly, then returns to watch. Forgive me if I'm crossing lines or something.

Honest and sincere as he is, Torm does not hide his doubt from Alalla. Not doubt of Erevain's worthiness or of Alalla's need, but of the ability to break Erevain's chains as Ilmater did with Ilmadia.

Zenithral's family is indeed different. His line has been chosen and prepared by Ilmater himself to accomplish specific tasks, and their connection to the divine is innate and strong. Also, Ilmater at times has been known to give way to mercy over justice - sometimes more than Torm might do himself.

However, Erevain did what he did for one purpose only - to help Alalla. The nobility of that self-sacrifice is not lost on Torm, who once allowed thousands of his worshippers to sacrifice their lives in order to give him the strength to slay an evil deity.

With the cunning snares of devils a price must always be paid. A question rises up in Alalla's mind: How would you see the price paid?

What I'd prefer is a total refund. Alalla sighs at her short and bitter response. I apologize.

I... don't know. I don't know what a fair price is for this... service... Belhifet provided, or for freeing a soul. Except another soul of course, and that's not really an option. Who would pay their soul instead? I won't. Erevain wouldn't accept it. If I were to trade my soul for his he would go searching for a way to undo it or free me. I hope that he's learned from his dealings with Belhifet, but even so I fear what solutions he would find. Alalla looks out over the camped orcs, then shakes her head with irritation.

Even if I could persuade him... my soul is more valuable. Belhifet can only use Erevain against me, but he could use me against many more people.

Some wife I am. I fear I must leave him to his fate.

And it is fear. She has kept her thoughts away from Erevain and his predicament, kept her worries locked away. Now that she is letting them loose, the thought of Erevain fighting in the hell she witnessed for eternity is a fist around her gut. It doesn't feel just.