Level 1: All the Single Ladies

FEET OF RAMPAGE
Just like that, the glitches cease! The strange fog does not dissipate. It rises. It becomes storm clouds. The sky darkens to night. Pix is pretty sure it’ll be daytime again in 12 minutes, night in another 12, and so on…

Thundra and Pira enter the temple through the main entrance. Meanwhile, Pix and Kurumi enter a sky-scraper’s lobby entrance that looks exactly like a samurai-era Shinto temple on the inside which is not strange at all. Obviously, this club is one of those thematic places. Ah yes… they even have play the tai ko!

You can all hear a boom, boom, boom… the beating of a big drum! The tai ko is always played in the Grandmaster’s dojo! This drumming sounds like an elephant’s ass! Amazon drummers put more heart into it and play louder!

You don’t see the drummers… or anyone but each other, for the moment. But as the drumming intensifies, masked men in black tear through walls that seem to be made of paper. They wield katanas (wimpy swords), naginatas (knives on long sticks—a coward’s weapon), and oni clubs. (That is actually an impressive weapon.)STATUS:
PIX:💛💛💛💛💛/🌸•WALLFLOWER
KURUMI:🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷/🪙
PIRA:❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️/🔥🔥🔥
THUNDRA:🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

The men in black all take swings at you—apparently your very presence is provocation enough! Rude. Normal.

A shirtless muscle man swings a club at Thundra, lean samurai draws his katana—slashing at Pix! A coward pokes at Pira like a spear/fisher. And as for Kurumi, a shirtless monk looks as if he wants to pick her up and throw her!

The attack is indeed uncalled for! Pira is not used to a bunch of guys entering what is obviously a ring and striking before the round number has been announced! In fact, the announcer isn’t even here! This is not the Tokyo Pira has frequented throughout her fighting career!

Pix has played plenty of Dodge Block, so while swordplay ain’t no minigame, the objective is very clear: don’t get hit. Being unaccustomed to harming others, Pix uses magic to hinder a foe!

The monk tries to grab Kurumi, but he can’t even catch her! She dances circles around the monk! He flails at the dancer ineffectively!
"Your form is excellent. Perhaps I have underestimated you." He sinks into a lower stance—

—but before he can attack, he’s forced to dodge a spiked club twirling through the air, as Thundra suplexes her foe’s head through the ground!

Pira lands a kick in the chest of her cowardly opponent. He trips over his unconscious friend!As the enemies are trying to get their bearings and finish the job (or get KO’d trying), some of you notice the temple shrine is very bright and colorful because it’s a jukebox!

Thundra KO’s the spear-fisher, and Pira pays the favor forward by brutalizing the monk with a barrage of claw-swipes and kicks! He’s be meditating on his back for the next seven or eight hours.

Kurumi is mesmerized by the juke box, as she should be: it has only one record in it, but it’s a good one!As Pix traps the last of the squad in a warp-wood cage, Thundra gets the sense that it’s time to claim the spoils of skirmish!

She can only carry one weapon because, really, where exactly would she sheathe a spare?

The bargain bin ninja replies, "You brought invaders into our space, Pira T. Piranha. I fought to protect the grandmaster’s temple!

"But I have failed and must fall on my…" He makes a futile attempt to grasp his blade. But the katana is outside the warpwood cage. "Ahh, nuts."

The BOOM BOOM BOOM of the big drum grows ever louder, even as the Hypno Dance song plays.

The walls of the temple start to shake.

The captive points toward a stairwell. "If you seek Aka Nishin, he awaits your team on the third floor. But you must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance! Hahaha, ha ha ha, HA HA heh… huh."

His maniacal laughter quickly fades. It’s really awkward to be the only person laughing while trapped in a cage you can’t even stand up in.

The booming grows louder. Dust and pebbles are shaken from the ceiling. You can feel vibrations along the tatami floor.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Suddenly, flames encircle you! (This really freaks out the guy in the cage!) You shift back to avoid getting singed!Enter nine more men in black—tearing through the paper walls on the north and south sides of the room! Among them is a tall, potbellied graybeard. He speaks. "I am Sheng Long," he drones in a self-important monotone. "You will soon be presented before the Grandmaster.

"—in bodybags!!!"

A bandit leans over and whispers, "There’s no killing. Remember?"

"Then what the hell was the point of sending assassins?!"

The assassin in the warp-wood cage frowns and looks at the floor.

The other eight not-caged bad guys point swords and sais, twirl bo sticks and nunchucks. One guy is holding a durian overhead. Another has both hands by one hip, fire swirling in the space between his open palms. Of the two masked bandits, one is missing an arm.

Sheng Long is unarmed, but surrounded by his eight henchmen. "Prepare to die!"

"No killing."

"—of old age! F**k."