jochergames says:
... "the creation of belief" rules, in what way are they perceived as incoherent, etc.
The rest is purely subjective --and the difficulty in mimicking a Pratchettian tone is not insignificant-- so all I can really point out is that the optional rules are sorta hard to find, after you restructured the page to get 'rid of the clutter' all the references to the optional rules still take us back to the main game's download page, but those downloads are not there anymore. I only found them due to my habit of --after liking a game-- opening the links to 'view all by' and 'related games' and found them there. It is not immediately obvious that The Creation of Belief is related to One in a Million (small dark text), or that it is the 'Optional Magic Rules' spoken about in the main game's page. Things are called by different names in different places.
It is not a big deal (hence 'tad':) and I have not played this game, nor fully read it, but I am not confident of my ability to bring it to the table. But then, I am not sure
any ruleset could do Pratchett justice. I do applaud the effort.