The pain is not as agonizing as I thought. There's still life left in me! Huzzah! And with that victory, I run towards the nearest tower and attempt to hide behind it.
Bonus action: Hide
Rolls
Con Save - (1d20+1)
(14) + 1 = 15
Con Save - (1d20+1)
(14) + 1 = 15
OA Shortsword vs Dragon, Damage - (1d20+5, 1d6+3)
1d20+5 : (6) + 5 = 11
1d6+3 : (3) + 3 = 6
Shortsword vs Captain, Advantage vs Captain, Damage - (1d20+5, 1d20+5, 1d6+3)
1d20+5 : (6) + 5 = 11
1d20+5 : (6) + 5 = 11
1d6+3 : (4) + 3 = 7
Horde Breaker Attack vs Hobgoblin, Damage - (1d20+5, 1d6+3)
1d20+5 : (2) + 5 = 7
1d6+3 : (2) + 3 = 5
Death Save - (1d20)
(7) = 7
Shot - (1d20+5)
(20) + 5 = 25
Shot (Disadvantage) - (1d20+5)
(12) + 5 = 17
Damage - (1d8+3)
(6) + 3 = 9
Magic missiles 3d4+3 - (3d4+3)
(123) + 3 = 9
Perception - (1d20+3)
(9) + 3 = 12
Stealth - (1d20+5)
(7) + 5 = 12
Death Save - (1d20)
(13) = 13
Death Save - (1d20)
(2) = 2
Medicine check - (1d20+1)
(4) + 1 = 5
Magic healing pokey stick? - (1d20)
(9) = 9
MM 1 - (1d4+1)
(3) + 1 = 4
MM2 - (1d4+1)
(1) + 1 = 2
MM3 - (1d4+1)
(4) + 1 = 5